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  1. I was manic over the weekend. I made a mistake and projected some anger and frustration on someone. I had to fix it. Thankfully, M was understanding. I almost never do that when I'm face to face with someone. I guess its the impersonality of the web. Mania is as bad as the depression, in its on way. :eyes

    The cat is STILL throwing up! Went by the vets and he suggested another food. It costs $30 for a 10 oz bag, and the wet is $2 for a little bitty can. Oh well, she doesn't eat nearly as much as the boys did. I miss them. Maybe in a year we'll get another dog, or dogs. I kind of like having two. I don't miss the yard patrol.

    I looked at Emily's posts today. I don't know why. I guess, even after all that's happened, I miss her. Well, she is my daughter. I guess her outrageous post got me thinking. She's going to South Carolina with the guy she's with. It appears this one has stuck around for four months. Maybe there's hope. I don't know how long she'll be there. I may comment on her post and see if she'll talk to me.

    I'm still worried about my patient. She's not responding to her medication or therapy and it's been a month now. We should see some progress. I emailed her psychiatrist to get an update on her meds. I hope she really is taking them, as she said she is. I hope she doesn't suicide. I need to be careful she doesn't form an attachment to me. That would just make everything worse. It's always a concern with any of them. I haven't seen a rise in appointments, or emergency calls yet. I'm sure it will come as we get closer to the holidays.

    Mom is really slowing down. Michael and I noticed it Sunday, more than we have before. She's still functioning, but her mind is not as sharp. I suppose it's just a matter of her age. We'll have to keep an eye on her. I'm concerned that she's still driving, but Michael doesn't think it's a concern. I'm afraid that he might see the drop like I do, since he talks to her every day. It's hell getting old.

    Silverette will be home soon. I'm feeling like going out for Italian tonight. I think I'll have a drink, and see if she wants to.
  2. "I just flipped out on Facebook. Heres the story:

    So a "friend" posted an Etsy page (People who hand make crafts and sell on Etsy) in which a woman made moulds of vulvas and turned them into pendants. Some of these vulva pendants were pictured, each looking different from the rest, of course. Anyway the friend had lots of comments underneath this picture. Here are a few choice comments, quoted directly:

    "lmao. That's Rank!"

    "Errr...whats with the "He/she" one" (One has a large clitoris)

    "I thought that. No wonder people have surgery if they look like that lmao"

    "That is sick. You would have to be sad to order one"

    What the holy hell? Would it surprise you to know that every single one of these comments were made by WOMEN. (And more than half of them have daughters)

    I normally stay out of this kind of stuff, but this person seems to do this a lot (Shaming women) and after reading those comments and getting angrier and angrier I jumped in and I posted this:

    "While I wouldn't wear one of these. I totally get the point of them. Porno culture and the "perfect pussy" has caused a rise in women feeling ashamed of their vagina and taking drastic action, (Yup like surgery) to chop away at their bits. If they can't afford that, then they simply hide it, never showing partners or enjoying pleasure. Having sex with the lights off, even refusing to receive oral. I have even read of men slating their female partner for looking "wrong" down their because she has big lips. Yet another version of shaming women for not being perfect. I am sure everyone has heard derogatory terms used for lady bits, from "meat flaps" to "Badly wrapped kebabs" and hundreds more. This behaviour has sparked quite a few ladies who are disgusted by the amount of women ashamed of their bodies, to start such projects as the "Pussy pride project" and "Great wall of vagina" to show women that vaginas come in all shapes and sizes and that you should not feel ashamed of what you got. This Etsy project seems to be another form of celebrating that, and putting it out there that women do not have to conform to societies unrealistic beauty standards. I for one celebrate that, if it means more women (Including our daughters) stop chopping their bodies and denying themselves pleasure they rightly deserve. Go vagina necklaces!"

    Absolutely sickened that women feel it is okay to shame and mock other women like this. I am not naive, I know it happens, but wow. How would these women feel if it was their daughters, or even their own vaginas being mocked and ridiculed. I may have lost a few "friends" on facebook, but as far as I am concerned those "friends" were worth losing. This is exactly the kind of shit that some poor woman will read and forever feel abnormal. Grrrrr!"

    Got this off another site. I can't say it any better.
  3. Silverette and I had a spat last night. It was about our daughter. She's about the only thing we fight about.

    When she turned 19 she really made a change in her life. Started taking hard drugs which are affecting her perception of reality. Can't keep a job, constantly fighting with her supervisors. She leaves, then makes up, and goes back. I guess when she applies herself, she's a pretty good worker.

    Then came the stealing. It was at this point that we put her out of the house. She lets her mobile go unpaid so we have no way to reach her until she reactivates. Then she acts like nothing's happened and nothings wrong.

    She's having sex with a new guy almost every week, almost always moving in with them. I've tried to talk to her about safe sex and she tells me to mind my own business.

    She posts every little detail on Facebook. A few months ago, I put her on my ignore list. I just don't want to read about what's she's doing. Sillverette reads it everyday. It's always more of the same thing.

    We haven't had a call from her in over a year. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore because she thinks I'm psychoanalyzing her. I suppose I am. Yesterday, Silverette saw one of her posts and it really set her off. She wanted to me to read it. I let her read it too me. Our daughter wants us to give her $20,000. Not loan, give. We won't give her a dime. Silverette then goes on this tirade until she starts repeating her self, then I say it's enough.

    Needless to say, last night was a quiet evening. However, when we went to bed Silverette rolled into me, cuddled against my chest, and I held her and rubbed her back.
  4. I'm feeling better today, not so sick. My mental state is almost normal. I'm thinking that after dinner, I'm going to make Silverette cum.
  5. I just came across a site about asexuality. I'm not sure I understand. Oh, I mean I can mentally understand the concept, but I don't really understand in reality. My sexuality is such a large part of me it's difficult to imagine it gone. However, according to the blogs of self admitted asexuals, they're happy to admit to themselves, and others, that they feel no sexual attraction. They feel liberated. What an intriguing concept. However, many of the forum entries are confusing. According to the site Q&A, there's a lot of gray area in this label. Some of the posters really strike me as a sexual person, but they define themselves as asexual.

    The Asexual Visibility and Education Network |
  6. Getting by with bipolar disorder

    I’ve equalized on my meds and I’m feeling better. Some days I feel so tired. The depression creeps up behind my mind and overwhelms me. It doesn’t help that those around me keep asking “Why are you feeling depressed? Aren’t you taking your pills”. Fuck, its like they think the meds are going to take away all the symptoms. Then they walk around me on egg shells. I keep telling them I'm Bipolar. I always will be. They just don't understand that I'll be this way the rest of my life. That I have to be aware of my mental state every day, never giving up. I don't get why they think someone in my profession doesn't know what to do. It gets tiring. Only my wife understands. She knows to just let me be. Except for sex. She knows if she can get me to cum, I'll feel better. She always knows.

    I found a new website forum that is focused on sex. I’ve been having a good time. Making some cyber friends. It's nice. I can talk about sex and be completely myself. No acting the professional all the time. Thank the massive black hole at the center of the universe for anonymity.

    Bye for now.
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