When did I get good at sex? or am I good at sex?
Cowboy Lovers' recent thread on "how long did it take you to become good" triggered a session of introspection within me. Having only had sex with my Bunnie, there are those who might certainly say I cannot be "good" at sex since I have not been with a variety of women. However, I am more inclined to judge any "goodness" in have in this area by how my Bunnie feels about it. I am one who tends to evaluate my "goodness" based on how others view my actions (this does not mean that I try to please everyone, but that I try to do the right thing as I see it, and treat others with respect even when we disagree on a belief or a course of action).
So I could not fully answer CL's thread without finding out Bunnie's view of the situation. One evening, as we were getting ready for bed, I asked her what she thought. Her initial response was to chuckle and just say "I can't remember when you weren't good. We started having sex, you stayed nice and loving to me, then you made me cum more and more and more, now I can't get enough of you. Why question yourself?" I wanted to pursue this some more, but at this point Bunnie was rubbing my crotch and pulling off her panties, so I knew she wanted less talk and more action. Thus began a great sexual session before we feel asleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night to Bunnie sucking on my cock, which quickly led to a "round two" quickie.
In the morning Bunnie shyly gave me a letter. She had woken in the middle of the night, and my question came to her mind. Sometimes she more easily conveys sexual thoughts by putting pen to paper, so she started writing a letter as a response to my question. She gave me permission to share it here (since none of you know who we are ):
My Toad, the things I like about you in bed during our years together that have make you good at sex:
- Your gentleness
- Your strength
- You try to please me
- You say nice things to me
- You go on a long time
- Your wonderful deep voice
- The way your eyes look
- You smile and look like you are having fun
- How you keep yourself slim and in shape for me
- How strong your legs feel
- You are tender
- You take a long time with me
- You smell clean and nice
- You taste good
- You have given me so many memories of our great sexual times
- You make me feel safe
- You talk to me and spend time with me outside of sexual times
- Your mouth feels soft and nice
- You have strong hands
- Oh yes - I LOVE YOUR COCK!
- Your arms feel safe
- You make me feel like I am drowning and exploding and floating, all at the same time, and it just goes on and on and on and on...
- You "scramble" my brain so that all I can think about is wanting to do whatever you want to get you hard again for more
That is all I can think of right now... this is getting me way horny again!
Bunnie said at that point is when she had to stop writing and "had to" start sucking me, and hoped I did not mind. I was now my turn to chuckle.
Now, I do a lot of "things" to her that, taken out of the context of our relationship, some might consider "rude" or degrading. I asked her if anything of those "things" where a hindrance to making my "good" any better. Her response was "Of course not! I love that you have all this sexual energy, but that you focus it solely on me!"
Bunnie further explained how, over the course of our lives, she has observed, and been told of, other women blatantly flirting with me beyond "normal" bounds. At times this happened when she had gained a lot of weight, was suffering from depression, and in that state actually felt I should have an affair, because (in her mind) she was not providing with the visual or emotional stimulation I needed. But she kept seeing, or hearing, how I quickly rejected those opportunities, while at the same time still continued to pursue her. All of that contributed to her feeling of how "good" I am at sex, and increased her desire to be all that I wanted.
She reminded me of several incidents that I may put in future blog posts - in retrospect they were funny incidents, even a little embarrassing to me at the time, but they all reinforced to Bunnie how much I continue to love her.
In conclusion, I may be "inexperienced" in sex from the view of many, but what matters to me is how Bunnie feels about it. After reading her letter, and seeing her reaction when I start doing "things" to her, I am more than happy about my "goodness" - and will continue to work to stay good for her.
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