Muppet Script Part 3

Published by Kermit in the blog Kermit's blog. Views: 120

Kermit: I need to head off and find Robin
Miss Piggy: Always dumbass like htat, to leave him home when theres a epidemic
Kermit: i’m not....oh fuck it, i’m gonna get it and them i’m gonna fucking kill you
Miss Piggy: i’d like to see you try
Fozzie: though i rather have us have unity, i have dibs on the ribs

[kermit tosses everyone a gun from Gonzo’s duffle bag]

Kermit: If it looks undead fucking kill it, don’t hesitate to shoot!
Dr. Teeth: Ten Four Greenback!
[miss piggy spins the chamber of her pearl handled revolver]
[scooter holds up his twin berettas]
[gonzo cocks fixes his flame thrower]
[rolf loads his magnum]
[Fozzie cocks the Shot Gun]
[janice keeps her katana]

Kermit: this way! shoot everything that looks dead! RUN!

[they carefully jog and make sure no is in the line of fire]
[miss piggy gets the first shot and shoots a big blue monster zombie]
[Fozzie stops and fires and knocks down a zombie by blowing off it’s leg and scooter finishes it off]
Fozzie: Kermit! w’ere gonna clear this section out you and Dr. Teeth go for Robin at the cafe

Gonzo: STAND BACK! [unleashes an inferno upon the zombies!]
[Janice impales one as Rolf blows it’s head off with the magnum]
[Fozzie Disables one by severing it’s leg via his shotgun and scooter shoots it in thead head]
[Fozzie senses it behind him and puts the gun over his shoulder and fires blowing it off at the neck]
[Miss piggy empties her revolver Paris Hilton]
[miss piggy takes cover though no other bullets are fired as she reloads]
[forgetting that you have to aim for the head Paris rises]
[miss piggy fires]
[Fozzie fires at the same time and makes Paris’ head explode]
Fozzie: damn i missed!
[Janice decapitates elmos illegitment son he had with Linda]

[Gonzo aims higher and roasts only the heads burning them and disabling them as scooter aims for the head and shoots them finishign them off after Gonzo blinds them]
Gonzo: good work lil man your uncle would be proud
Scooter: Don’t worry, i got my revenge, i dont’ know if zombies feel pain but if they did he was in agnoy rest asured
[Fozzie keeps trying to aim for miss piggy’s head....til Nicole Richie gets in teh way and it explodes..but just as miss piggy discharges her weapon]
Miss PIggy: i’m such a bad-ass!
Fozzie: Dammit ta hell!
[Fozzie Aims Again...ti Ashley Olsen gets in teh way and he fires and makes her anrerexic head explode]
Fozzie: Fuck me! that pig needs to be taken out and these anerexic bitches get in the way
[Janice waves to Fozzie]
[Fozzie rushes over and shoots the legs off two zombies as Janices decapites them]
Fozzie: We make a good team
Janice: We all make a good team
[bernice fires her mini-flaem thrower at the zombies legs making them collapse]
[scooter discharges his weapons into the heads while adjusting in a fashion no one knew had in him]
Scooter: SLASH AND BURN MOTHERFUCKERS!

[Scooter fires his twin berettas with his arm out stretched on either side when being confronted by zombies on both sides]
SCOOTER [obviously insane at this point of the bloodbath]: DIE AGAIN MOTHERFUCKERS! [crosses his arms to fire at oppsite directions to kill another pair of zombies]
Janice: I’ll teach you to groove! [slashes one zombie through it’s torso and decapitates it and slashes off the front of anothers zombie’s face but enough to destroy it]
Janice: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
[fozzie keeps firing off his shot gun knocking one down and stepping on it’s chest but not close enough for a bit]
Fozzie: no lunch for you today! [shatters it’s rotted cranium til it’s just a thick red stain on the floor]
[Fozzie stops to reload]
Fozzie: Cover me Scooter!
[scooter guards fozzie fireing off several rounds]
Fozzie: I’m back now lets smoke those humorless bastards!

Fozzie: GONZO! we’re all gettign together cept janice and tother forming a wall of fire you burn what’s left and disabled! SLASH AND BURN!
Gonzo: Aye Aye Fuzzy One!
Fozzie: FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!! [teh gang minus kermit, gonzo, dr. teeth and janice] form a bonbardment that none of hte zombies are left standing on the way to meet kermit.
[zombies now suddenly sport cranianial pierings and ly bleedin gon teh floor from missing limbs]
Fozzie: don’t step on them children! they’ll bite your fucking knee caps off! now move you furry bastards!
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