Wife stayed out all night, but says nothing happened?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Diggler_1351, Apr 16, 2018.

  1. Diggler_1351

    Diggler_1351 New Member

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    Well here is the scoop. My wife (We will call her TD)works as a house keeper at a local motel. TD and a femal coworker (we will call her TT) were approached while working, by a couple guys staying at the motel through the week while doing construction local. And the two guys( we will call the K & E) had been staying there for the past two weeks as well, but going home on the weekends. So TD & TT have had small talk with K & E for 2 weeks or so at this point. Well one day K & E were forced to have to stay at the motel all day due to snow. TD said they had been drinking since morning and they kept hitting on her and TT. TD said by that evening K & E had talked them in to having a shot of tequila. TD & TT agreed to the shot, but only after they get off work. So after they clocked out they joined K & E for a couple shots. I don't know what they lined up at this point, but I do know that TD & TT had been drinking with them for about a hour after they clocked out of work.(The above information has just been given to me by TD 1 The reason I say I don't know what they lined up is because TD & TT left the motel and came home to TD's home and mine of course.( I was working late and was not home yet). TD & TT spent about a hour and 45 min. at the house, and when they left they looked much better then when they got there.

    Back to the motel they go, and on the ride back TT is telling TD how she thought K was cute, and she would like to hook up with him. TD supposedly never said anything about likeing either guy. So there back at the motel, and I get home from work. When I came in the house TD was not home(very unussual) I then asked my 12 and 14 yr old boys where mom was, they stated she had never been home yet from work. So I call and text TD to find out what is going on at work that would keep her their so late. I didn't get a responce for about 20 min at this point so I dove to her work kinda worried, and thinking maybe a wreck because the roads were slick with snow, and that TT is only 24 yr old and has not drove in the snow that much(TT drove them to work that day). When I get to the motel I don't see the house keepers door open nor do I see any of there carts out in front of the rooms. I asked the girl working the front desk(where the time clock is) when did TD & TT leave that day. She replied they clocked out around 5:00 pm, it's 8:30 pm at this point. So i'm thinking 3 half hours since clocked out, WTF!!! On my 10 min drive back home TD finally answers her text I had sent earlier. "Hey honey, TT and I are at WalMart she needed to pick up some cat food and litter, so I rode with her" I replied ok, and when are you going to be home. TD said they were about to check out so she would be home soon. My gut was saying somthing was out of place, and I should check our CCTV DVR when I get back home.

    Checking the survalance DVR when I got home revealed TD & TT had been to our house, as stated earlier
     
  2. Diggler_1351

    Diggler_1351 New Member

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    Checking the survalance DVR when I got home revealed TD & TT had been to our house, as stated earlier. At this point it is 9:45 pm I texted TD again and asked where she was. she said TT was still walking around looking at things. I was skeptical of any of the story because she already has had my two boys lie for her about being home already. So I drive to walmart walk the entire store twice, and check the entire parking lot 3 times for TT's bright sky blue saturn. And the saturn nor the girls were at walmart. So I went back home thinking maybe we passed on the road and she is home. When I get home TD is not home yet, and it's 11:00 pm now. I text TD again and ask where she is and damnit if she didn't say they were still at walmart. At this point I'm fustrated and I tell her she is a lier, because she was not at walmart. TD said well we are at walmart, and you just didnt see us. and we are checking out now. I replied ok see you when you get home. I'm thinking how did I miss that bright blue car. I was working in my shop on a mustang im restoring and the next thing I realize it's 12:45 am, and TD is still not home. I text her again and she says her and TT stopped by TT's ex boyfriends house after leaving walmart, and that they were talking in the other room, and she didn't have any control over what TT does, and she is at her mercy because she is the driver. I told TD I would come get her where did the ex bf live. I could never get a answer, as she would change the subject. we argue texted up until 2:45 am at which point TD turned her phone off until 7:30am. We argue texted again, and she swore she was were she said. So I stick around the house instead of going to work. I knew it was her day off so she will be home soon. At 8:30 am I ask if she has to work. She said she wasn't sure yet. So at 9:15 she texted me and said she was going in to work. I'm thinking damn your not even going to come home and freshing up before work, WOW!!! So at that point I go to work myself.

    So I'm going to skip the next 4 days because it was only arguing, and why was she lieing. On the 5th day after I picked up TD after work she said she had a confession. "We were only at walmart for a short time and another friend of there's (we will call her VV) called TT and was walking down the road just after having a big fight with her boyfriend. So they picked her up and went to the motel across the street from where TD & TT work. They got VV a room and the 3 of them talked all night trying to comfort VV. I'm thinking that's a way better lie, you should have used it first. At this point I'm in NYPD detective mode. I forgot to mention that the day TD changed her story I had already talked to TT's ex boyfriend and he confirmed that the girls had not been there at all. Back to the second story, there werec a ton of holes in that story that I needed more proof. I go and talk to VV at her home. First thing VV said when she answered the door was "please Chad don't make me do this" After our conversation the story was they had actally been at VV's house all night and nothing bad happened. I had to go out of town on business the same day I talked to VV so I didn't tell TD I had talked to VV. I wanted to confront her with what VV had said when I got back home. During my time away I get a call from one of TD's girlfriends that knows what TD had been lieing to me about, and that TT & TD were actually at the motel where they worked all night with a couple guys who were staying there. You don't know how bad I wanted to leave and go home rite then. I finaly get home 2 days after the new info I gained. I confront TD about what VV had said, and she sayed VV was lieing. TD was not going to budge off that last story, so I told her I already knew what she had been doing. I told her exactly what the girlfriend had told me over the phone. Rite away she wanted to know who said that, who said that! I just said a friend. Finally she jumps up gets rite in my face and says that is what happened, and am I happy now that I finally got the truth, and she sat back down. I replied yes I'm happy about that, but Ifeel like she is leaving something out. Like I said in the first paraghraph It has only been a couple days since the last story about being at the motel all night with 2 other guys and TT. Tonight I got it out of her that they had gotten pretty drunk, and TT and K had taken there party to TT's car. And TD said that her and E just sat up and talked, and nothing happened. Oh yeah I tripped TD up after I asked what time did TT & K leave the room, she stated about 2:30am. Funny how TD's phone got shut off just 15 min later.

    So would a married women go through such a big lie if she did'nt have sex with E? Would a guy thinking he was going to get laid, still be putting in effort after he has gotten negetive results from trying to make a move on TD? I know I would be like ok K is getting some with TT in the car now for over a hour, and TD is showing no interest in me. I'm going be like, well its getting late, and I have to work tomorrow so i'm going to lay down and get some rest. Or would he try until the sun came up, thinking maybe she will give in? or at 2:45am when the phone got turned off until 7:30 is when TD and E were getting it on?
     
  3. No Action Jackson

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  4. Sagittarius84

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    TD is cheating, or at the very least engaging in activity not compatible with your agreed upon relationship. Tell her you're not comfortable with her recent actions, and that at the very least a mother to a 14 and 12 yr old has no business running the streets with 24yr old single women without full disclosure to her husband..If she agrees, or resolves to keep in better contact with you during future excursions, then file it away to the subtle observation pile and move on with your lives. If she fights you or pushes back...she's either cheating or getting ready to with an All star assist from TT.
     
  5. MrRam65

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    E is giving TD the big D....maybe even in her A-hole.
     
  6. lbushwalker

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    Not a pretty tale with pathetic cover stories.
    I stopped believing almost immediately the story began.
     
  7. SuperDilf

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    Ahhhh shit man, somethings not ok here. Hate to bring it up but... if she didn’t cheat on you? Has she ever struggled with addiction?
     
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  8. CLE32793

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    Damn. Just damn. I read a lot of lies. :(
     
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  9. CLE32793

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    And I'm sorry you are going through this.
     
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  10. MILF_Rider

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    I'm curious what the rest of the story is, it sounds like we have a serial cheating victim... I'm not saying people who are victims of cheating are to blame, but a pattern suggests a need to change - if nothing else, maybe they didn't pick partners that are loyal.

    The OP posted 2 years ago about having a 37 year old wife and 3 young children. I was tipped off to see what his story is when he said his wife is 24 and he has kids 12 and 14 which wouldn't be children of a 24 year old.

    Obviously in the last year and a half he divorced the mother of his current and remarried. And that has already devolved, the 24 year old is probably not ready for commitment. Cut ties but get clear evidence of infidelity so she gets nothing.

    Once that is done, stay away from women until you have taken time to know what you are after. Maybe go out and do one night stands but you may not be ready for relationships.

    Screencaps of the text conversations, save the DVR video. You've been through divorce before.
     
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  11. Panama86

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    he says his wife's workmate TT is 24 years old not his wife TD.

    this just doesnt read right. she is definitely guilty of something, whether it's actual sex or maybe she's just wound up because she wanted to keep up with TT and let him touch her or showed him her pussy or tits or kissed him or something and knows you wouldn't see that as acceptable. the biggest problem is the lying and the lack of communication. if she did even do anything wrong she won't just admit it and own her actions.

    i'd really hate to be in your position and i hope it works out for you.
     
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  12. Diggler_1351

    Diggler_1351 New Member

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    Thanks for all the replies.
    UPDATE:
    TD has sence told me that her intentions were to go back the motel to have sex with K. She said she just wanted to enjoy herself, get out of the house to have a little fun. Have a few drinks, laughs, and fun. I asked what would make you want to do such a thing. TD replied she felt I had been distancing myself latly and she needed some attention. Well this was the first I had heard of this problem. I asked well dont you think you should have came to me about this so we could fix it. She stated yes, and that she was being selfish. She did admit that K made a slight move on her by touching her arm, but TD pulled her arm back and said no. TD is still claiming they did not have sex or anything. I'm getting these confessions via hand written letter, which is fine with me whatever works. So in another letter I get it states, "yes I did go back to the motel with the intentions of having sex, but once I got back down there I couldn't stop thinking about what I was doing wrong. All I could think about was you and the kids. then the next thing I realized it was 1am - 2am". So I'm thinking what kind of horse shit story is this. We had been texting up until 2:45am so I know for a fact you had your phone in your hand with the time rite in your face. If you honestly realized you were making a mistake the the guilt would have made you 1. have TT bring you home, or 2. when I had told her in the texts that I would come get her, she would have complied. So to me she already confessed to going back with the intentions of having sex, and to enjoy herself, to have a little fun. I'm texting her through the first half of the event making her have mixed signals of guilt or fun. She has already taken a huge risk with all the lies and not being home yet. She already knows that shit is going to hit the fan when she does get home, and the only way she is going to nbe able to complete her mission is to block me out so she can concentrate on what she set out to do that night, and that would be to turn the phone off.

    Another interesting fact that I noticed was that we had texted 60+ texts up until 2:45am, and not once was she down on herself. But the second text after she turned her phone back on she was down on herself. stating that she is just a whore, and that she must just be a piece of shit, and she doesnt deserve me, ect. And that was every other text for the next hour or so. To me that alone shows she was asshamed for what she had done. I brought this up to her, but she still claims nothing happened not even a kiss. maybe K was gay, LOL. Or he had no game, because I know if that had been me in K's shoes I would have gotten at least to 3rd base.
    What is your opinion now????
     
  13. SuperDilf

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    Perhaps she’s being honest? But I would look deep into your pasts as a couple. The answer lies there, did she cheat on her last boyfriend with you? Has she ever shown intrest in swinging? Has she made comments referencing her need for more attention? Look for the lead up of clues. Good luck!
     
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  14. Diggler_1351

    Diggler_1351 New Member

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    Milf_rider, TT is my wifes coworker. I have not divorced I'm still with the same women. TD is 40 yrs old, we do have 3 children but the oldest is in college now, and not living at home.
     
  15. lbushwalker

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    Train wreck imho.
     
  16. MILF_Rider

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    Ok I see where I misread who is the 24 year old. Panama pointed it out but I've been down with some illness otherwise I might have said something.

    Best case scenario is td was playing wingman.
     
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  17. Shadow_T

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    I read most of this a couple days ago, but hopefully I'm still recalling things correctly.

    For me, the possible/likely sexual affair is no where near as disconcerting as the deceit. The constantly changing and muddied story is disheartening at best. Frankly, I wish my wife had enough interest to go out and be naughty. We're honestly having a lot of trouble right now, but one thing I can tell you is, I trust her 100%. Even if you are entirely monogamous at heart, it would be far easier to survive infidelity in an open and honest context, vs. this blurred mess you're unfortunately stuck in. I don't know if you can move on happily with the doubts you have.

    I would approach her with the angle that you need her to be 100% honest, and that will give her the best chance of gaining forgiveness. I'd try to direct it toward getting her to open up about what is missing in your relationship, and maybe you'll even learn some things about her fantasies and desires. That is all assuming you want to go in that direction... saving the relationship. Personally, I'd be asking if she wants a MFM or otherwise play more, but that's me.

    If an affair is enough to end the relationship, I'll just call it done. Whether she did or not, she admits to the intent, and the story is too fucked up IMO.

    Just my humble opinion.
     
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  18. lbushwalker

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    This OP has a history of being cheated on and obviously not learned the hard lessons or else way too forgiving. My heart bleeds for him tho’.
     
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  19. SuperDilf

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    Shit on me once.......
     
  20. Diggler_1351

    Diggler_1351 New Member

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    SuperDilf, you said it, and there are 3 other times she has admitted to in the past 15 yrs, we have been together for 23 yrs.

    I have always asked if it was something that I'm not doing or doing wrong as a man or a husband, and I never really get a answer that makes much sense. However as small as some of the things she would like for me to change are, I still try to comply. I just know deep down there is a good women in there. When I say maybe we need some time apart she gets hysterical, and starts turning the table. So if this last adventure turns out to be what it looks like then I don't think I can handle a 5th time. I'm just out of answers this time, and that is killing me within. My close friends tell me to try counseling, but I'm not one for a shrink to get in my head. If I thought counseling would help I would defiantly give it a try. Thanks for all the replies!!!
     
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