I've been seeing providers almost all of my adult life, from 24 to 34. Actually I lost my virginity to a 35 yo Chinese provider at some seedy incall in NYC. In the 10 years of soliciting I've spend maybe $30k (and counting) on providers and the routine has almost always been the same for me: light petting --> cbj --> cfs. I'm so bored with it I can't see straight and I think I've developed several sexual problems because of it though this can be down to my chronic kidney issues, I'm not sure and neither is my nephrologist. The first time I had sex with my first girlfriend that I won at 33, I could not achieve an erection. And now I have erection problems, it takes a lot of stimulation for the provider to get me fully hard and even then it's an iffy thing. I just got out of my one and only semi-real(?) relationship of 10 months and now I'm back in the game. I'm always nice and respectful, never ever raise my voice or my hand, and I always listen to what my date has to say about her life, so what's the deal? Am I just that ugly? I have a lot more to write but I thought I should keep it short, why spill my guts and ask for advice if no one give a hoot. So if anyone is interested in my continuation, I'll elaborate.