Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by HotForHoney, Feb 29, 2016.
When I was married my ex named our neighbors: the bitch, holy rollers, the assholes, the professor... I think there was another one too.
I live down the street from the "Gay Girls", "Timmy" (south park) lives behind me. Jeff Spicoli lives two house past the Gay-Girls and across the street from "Mancow". Around the block is MILF-Runner. My mail man is "Flash-Back" who pretty much always puts the mail in the wrong boxes.
Yeah, I have "smokey bear" across the hall...he or she (have never seen them) continues to stink up the hallway with whatever they smoke...
I used to have "working girls", but they left. They'd come in at 7am wearing tight mini skirts and boas around their necks. I'd see them as I was leaving for work. I was always intrigued by them...
Another one: when working girls left, sexy beard moved in.
He's a young guy, I think he lives alone. He has two humongous pick up trucks, a black one and a red one. What intrigues me is that when I see him leaving for work, he's always wearing office attire and carrying a laptop bag not construction/landscaping or "outside work" attire...
Maybe he's just in tune with his inner RedNeck
Lets see...there is fuck ball down the road, and then you got numbnuts on the corner, fuckhead across the street and big titties next to him and pig fuck next to her. I love my neighbors lol thats at my business the reality is I have no neighbors by my house.
Well, we don't have too many neighbors since we are on a deadend, but there was the old man we called 'creepy pedefile man', he's since died and the 'dumbfuck' has moved in. Beside us in the 'noisy old bitch', and a block over we have the 'white trash'. Everyone else is kinda known by their actual names.
I was wondering where dumbfuck moved off to. Tell him to bring my snow shovel back to the store.
If he's bringing back the shovel you have to keep him. We don't want him or his 'aggressive' dogs. But I imagine he sold the snow shovel.
I only have 4 neighbors. But I give the people in the gym nicknames.
The lumberjack and the crazy workout couple. (They actually bring there dinner to the gym and eat it in the gym) and lady who can afford a shirt (she stares at herself it the mirror, never wears a shirt)
I give my neighbors full names and backstories based on trivial details and observations.
So.. What do your neighbors call you?
I'm sure I'm "jeepFucker" or "naked loud drunk guy" depending on which side of the house you're on.
How does one Fuck a Jeep?
It that a thing?
If it's big enough, you can do it in the back....
Share at least one!
I forgot about my upstairs neighbor "Quiet John". I think he lives (lived?) alone, but every Tuesday evening, around 9pm, I could hear him taking a bath...or rather, a lady giving him a bath and a happy ending. I could hear them talking, water splashing and only him moaning...not that I stayed to listen for that long...
When I was a kid we had "Hammer Woman - Mother of Thor"
Kids we not allowed on her lawn. She sat on her porch with a claw hammer and would shake it menacingly at any child that would foolishly step foot on her lawn. I believe she was like 127 y.o. and looked like Granny from the Beverly Hillbilly's TV show
Okay, well, there's Larry Coldwell. He's a city "cowboy" whose wife left him and took the kids and the dog. He deals with issues of masculinity and takes it out on others, but he does like the way the lace on those panties his ex-wife left behind feels on his nethers. Larry graduated high school by the skin of his teeth and then dropped out of college after one year - choosing instead to take the full-time assistant manager position at the Cabelas he was working at to pay the bills. Every Friday he goes to the bar and does his best to impress everyone and bring home a lady; he is successful exactly 1.7% of the time. His favorite color is red. He preaches about "buying American" and not outsourcing jobs, but (other than his truck) everything he owns is imported/made by foreign labor. His main diet is Hot Pockets and Coors Light. He watches football and is in a fantasy league, but would really rather be watching tennis. He also got too drunk at his sister's wedding and punched the groom's uncle in the face - he and his sister no longer talk.
All of this because one of my neighbors wore a cowboy hat once, drives a F-250, and looked grumpy when getting the mail one time.
10-3xl - I can only imagine the story you'd fabricate if I was you neighbor
I've honed my skills through years of people watching, several sociology courses, and creative writing studies.