...one of the reasons I came on board; anal sex. I love the state of zero inhibitions in a relationship. When my women, over the years, will just let me go, let me follow my passions of the moment, when she goes after what she wants, Jeeezzzz... Anyway, long story short; the first few years she would let me go after her azz when the mood struck which was not all that often, so big deal, right? I loved sliding a finger in her ass on a fairly regular basis when I was really pounding her missionary or maybe a thumb doggy, and the way it would just make her let go even a bit more...BOOM. I'm trying to illustrate is that how she is getting off is just as important as how I am getting off, I feed off of her pleasure and heat, so, I'm not just getting to a 'why won't she give me what I like' rant. One day, this has been probably 8 years ago, it was one of those delicious sex afternoons where time was ours. Well, she was buzzing herself and I was trying to work the dildo in her azz and she said 'give me that' and took over and just worked it in, so, so incredibly erotic. There she was, vibrator on her pussy and sliding the stunt cock in and out of her azz just perfect to her own self, how she wanted it. Simply awesome. I was just marveling at the scene of her complete pleasure, stroking myself, waiting for her to cum which I just totally dig watching. She comes, big time, I can't take it anymore and I just jump her, fucking the hell out of her, which she always loves after an orgasm. The dildo is still in her azz and I'm working that into her and when I get done, we're both just spent and she trots off to clean up. Well. She'd relaxed so much there was a...mess...on the dildo. I tried to be totaly discreet about, taking the blankets off to the wash, not saying a word. Of course she notices a problem and gets freaked out by it. I'm like "no problem whatsoever. Let's take a shower, I'll do some wash, don't worry about it at all!" That was it. She never let me finger her azz again or made me stop when I tried. She never let me fuck her azz again, no dildo, nothing. We've talked about it. If she read this post not one word of it would be news to her. She simply has put her foot down "I don't like it. That's it. I should not have to do something I don't like." So, again, it's not about "Wanh! I want what I want!" It's that I know how hot it used to make her as well and she is, to me, denying both of us and that was the begining of her taking over our sex life and placing her limits on it. Everything else was great; vaginal intercourse, she LOVES sucking cock, though she will rarely swallow, I cum all over her, enough enjoyable positions, so, don't let the persuit of perfection destroy the good, right? Well, to me, it was the begining of a long, slow decay in our marriage. To me, everything is connected, sex, the kids, day to day stuff, long term stuff. We had, to me, the total package and limits, starting I think, with sexual inhibitions, has hurt us. So, ladies, we have our other problems which followed over time, so, setting that aside, would you mind addressing the whole azz/mess/inhibition thing because it came first? Why couldn't she just blow it off? Why would she, in my mind, start placing speed limits on our sex life? I just feel like so much was lost over so little.