Sometimes I feel like an accessory to sex rather than part of the main event. I can't explain it really, but I can try. When I'm with a girl, she's the main attraction for me, I'm happy to be with her, she's my focus, and without her it's not sex it's masterbation. I want to please her, her enjoyment is something I preoccupy myself with. But to me, I feel like this sentiment is rarely mutual, like I'm well, just another sex toy. Here's an example. The other night plans were made to have an evening of fun, and everything seemed to be going well and it was exciting to anticipate what the night would bring. But when the time came it seemed to me like she was more excited about the lingerie she was wearing than having me there. A lot of times I feel like I am generic guy #3, like it doesn't matter who I am or if I am found attractive, ect. yadda, yadda. After all I'm just there to help get a job done, but I'm not necesary... after all she can please herself anytime, but it's nice to have me around so that someone can see her pretty things. I've felt this way with more than just one partner, and over more things than just lingerie. I don't know how to explain these feelings. Is this making any sense at all? Does anyone else feel this way, or know what I'm talking about?