This probably should be an ask guys thread, but I think women may have also gone through this with their men so I'll put it out there for all. Basically I want to know what is normal for losing ur sex drive after 40. I'm 42, and circumcised, so have always had sensitivity issues with condoms, but in the last 5 or so years, sex with one is about as sexual as doing the dishes. I can no longer have an orgasm with one, and with some women I can't have one in any shape or form, oral, hand, whatever. I haven't met anyone that I or they are interested in a long term relationship, so condoms have been necesarry in all situations, since my divorce. I also have problems sometimes even alone, with orgasming without any sensation at all. A bit of cum comes out and I go limp, but no feeling of orgasm at all. I also am usually not horny and have to work at it to get horny. I have been to a urologist, but they can't find anything. I did have what they think was an infection in one of my testicles, but she said it wasn't serious and shouldn't effect my sex drive. This has been going on far longer than this ailment. In the 3 years before I met my wife I only had sex once, and it also didn't work. Often with my wife, without a condom, I merely gave up after 45 minutes or an hour due to exhaustion and lack of feeling just making it feel like work, with no element of pleasure. In the past, sex was like heroine. My breath would deeeper, and heart beat heavy and It felt like entering a trance of exstacy. I was usually very tantric and big on foreplay, finding that the best sex, to savour it. I don't have too many more hobbies. I used to love music, but find it now very commercial and nothing really new or innovation or interesting. So sex is about the only thing I really still like, the rest seems like killing time. I have low blood pressure (possibly another reason for this) and doing sports can make me sometimes dizzy. the biggest problem is my new GF. It's a new thing. She lives about an hour away, and it's nothing steady yet, but we have had sex about 5 times, all with no happy ending for me. I'm sure all will see this as an overstatement, but she is the sexiest thing I've ever seen. She's fit, not really skinny, but no real fat either. Not too thin, and not what I would call overweight by anything more than maybe 10 pounds. She has a EE chest, and looks georgeous without any makeup, natural beauty and is relaxed and ez going, not nervous, or panicky, or complaining. She looks not like the new plastic barbie models, but the real womanly look from the 60s, Marilyn, Sophia Loren type beauty, curvy, soft body, but not at all chubby. All the things I am enthralled with, but still nothing. I sit there during it looking at her in amazement and can't believe I'm not more turned on the entire time. I want to know if this has happened to any one else. My urologist says it might be stress, but stress since 6 years ago? I also make sure and not to masturbate for a week before our dates, and still nothing. I'm afraid my last real pleasure in life is disappearing. I know the male sex drive decreases with age, but to the such an extreme and so early? Everyone says I look about 30-35, and I'm height weight proportionate, 6 ft, 185 lbs and fairly muscular. Not like an old geezer that would have given up on sex years ago.