Getting Funky in the Gooseneck As I lay on my back staring at the ceiling that was inches above my face in sleeping loft of the gooseneck, I realized there was no way in hell I’d get to sleep without getting off. I had spent the day loading the horses, driving for 3 ½ hours and then setting up camp at the campgrounds. It had taken me hours to get all that done and by the time I washed up and ate, I was too tired to do more than brush my teeth and climb into the sleeping bunk of dressing room in my horse trailer. The trouble was, my darned clit would not let me sleep. It would flutter a bit then give a spasm, like it was grabbing at a cock that was not there. I tried to ignore it, but I made the mistake of putting my hand down my pants to see if I was wet. I used my fingers to part my lips, working them from the base of my clit and folding them back to expose my womanhood. Once I had opened myself, I slipped a finger into my depths drew out my inner slickness. I slid my finger out of my pussy, brought it to my nose and inhaled deeply. I smelled ready. I rubbed my fingers together feeling the slickness. I felt ready. I slipped my finger into my mouth and savored it. I tasted ready. Once I decided the game was on, I stripped off my shirt and sweatpants then got under the sheet. I started to rub my clit with the forefinger I usually use, but I was so wet I could barely keep my finger on the trigger. It was frustrating more than arousing to do what I was doing, so I stopped and sighed. I reached behind my head to the cubby where I keep my clock, water bottle and Kleenex. I checked the time. I grabbed the water and sat up part was in the gooseneck to have a sip. (There isn’t enough headroom up there to sit up straight.) As I drank I remembered a time where I’d used a water bottle to get off before so screwed the lid down tight and slipped it under the sheet. The cold cap of the bottle against my hot skin made me jump. I used the ridges on the cap to rub against my clit. I circled, stroked and partially penetrated my pussy with the head of the bottle as I pinched and twisted my nipples. I was getting hotter. My juices were running down the bottle, making it a bit hard to hang onto. I flipped over onto my stomach and worked my pussy that way, pushing my pelvis into the bottle and rocking myself from hip to hip. All that got me was frustrated, so I flipped back over. I lay there, all keyed up, breathing heavy and sweating. I couldn’t finish myself with the bottle. Using it to get off was like being pecked to death by a duck. I needed something IN my pussy, something to stroke in and out. That’s when I remembered my mini Mag lite flashlight. It is made of metal, is about 6” long, and the diameter is about as thick as a medium sized carrot. Without hesitation, I slipped the flashlight into my hungry snatch. My lips were still cool to the touch from the coldness of the water bottle so the flashlight felt warm as it slid by them. I moaned and arched my back as I penetrated myself to the head of the light. I started to fuck myself with it and realized the ridges on the handle meant to keep it from slipping out of your hand if it was wet were grinding against my g-spot in a most delicious manner. I was so hot I threw the sheet back and put my feet up on the ceiling, laying them flat so I could keep my thighs back and open with no effort. I fucked myself with the light to the point of feeling like I was going to urinate, a sure sign that a g-spot orgasm was coming. I stopped stroking myself to keep from exploding because I didn’t want to soak my bedding. I left the flashlight buried and brought my legs back down to the mattress. I lifted my ass and slid a pillow under it. I reached down to finger my clit and was shocked. When I touched my clit it was bigger than I had ever remembered it to be. I don’t know what combination of things I had done to myself that caused it to be so big, but MAN it was impressive! I could not use my normal, one finger flick technique on my woman boner. I had to use the fingertips of my forefinger and middle finger to stroke it from base of shaft to head like it was a miniature penis. As I stroked my clit with one hand I pinched my left nipple until it was ultra-sensitive, then I bent my head and took it into my mouth. I circled the hardness of my nipple a few times with my tongue then clamped my lips down and sucked. My clit throbbed between my fingers and my pussy spasmed wildly on the flashlight. My hips bucked forward involuntarily as I bit down on my tender flesh, hurting it just enough. My body was in motion and the squeaking as the gooseneck shifted made me stop for just a moment to think that maybe the people parked next to me on either side could hear. My pussy spasmed again, and that thought flitted out of my head like a butterfly. I flipped over on my belly again and turned my head to the side. I drove the flashlight into me, pumping it wildly angling it so that even although it was fairly short and thin, it stretched my pussy and reached my cervix. My legs started to shake as I got close to coming, so I lay down on my side and cocked one leg up. I pulled the flashlight out of my pussy and used the shaft to flick my rock hard clit from side to side until I could not take the teasing anymore and plunged it back into my hole burying it to the hilt. I was at a point where I did not care what anyone thought or what I did to my body to get what I wanted. All I could smell was my sex; all I could hear was my own breathing; all I wanted was to come. I felt my walls clamp down on the flashlight tighter and tighter as I approached the summit. I stroked faster, my pussy was making wet sounds and I was moaning loudly. A few more strokes of my clit and I was there. I screamed out loud. Oh god, oh god, oh fuck, oh godddddd! After I came I drifted off to sleep like someone had turned off a switch. I woke up after a few minutes, got the flashlight out of my pussy, wiped up with the Kleenex and fell asleep until morning. The next night, as we all hung out by the campfire, one guy that was half in the bag bragged that he’d had sex with his wife that week. (She was next to him and just rolled her eyes.) The guy then asked who else had gotten some that week. A few people responded with chuckles. I asked, “Does the sex have to be with another person”? The drunk said, “No, it can be solo, I guess.” I said, “Well, in that case, I had sex last night.” The couple parked closest to my trailer were sitting next to me in their camp chairs. I’m still not sure if they heard me or not, but the looks on their faces was priceless. Everybody was still laughing as I made my exit and went back to my camper and my beloved flashlight.