I am having a hard time liking myself, i despise my whole existence for some reason. I feel like i look like shit, and i dont understand why my girlfriend loves me. I am afraid she will leave me, allthough im 100% sure she wont at this point. But if she does, i am afraid i will not be able to live with myself. The only thing that inspires me right now to live is her. She has her own stuff to deal with and is open to me about them. I am happy i can be there for her, allthough she has made it clear to me that it becomes to much if she got to listen and be there for me as well. I do understand her because her problems is just as fucked up as mine. But there are often times where i dont know how to react with the things i have to deal with and i feel like i have to talk to someone face-to-face. Theres only person i feel i can talk with face-to-face, and i guess you can figure out who, but i cant because of her. I just dont know how to handle my life sometimes, when my emotions gets out of control over shit, i start doing stuff people should not do to themselves. It doesnt even need to be any mayor things, i am to emotional and sensitive. Its not like i cut myself, but i start hitting myself with my fists. Sometimes the face even, but i got away from that as it may cause visible wounds or bruises with an perfect hit. Lately i have been goin at my torso/breast-area as it doesnt make to much noise etc. I know this is going to an point where it shouldnt, i have no-one else to talk to, i need guidance from something that is not bye the state of any kind. Ive been into the system since i was in kindergarden along with social helpers, shrinks etc. and stuff like that. Do you guys and girls have any advices/tips on how to handle emotions when they get out of controll? Any comments that might help me is also highly appreciated.