My wife sometimes rejects my advances. Ok, more than sometimes, often rejects. For those rare times, when I score, it has been worth it, so far. Sometimes, I anticipate that my wife is in a rejecting mode, and I don't even make the advances, to get rejected. I stop before I start. Usually, I try to take the attidude that my wife's rejection of my advances, is part of the process. I take my hands off, and move away, stopping contact. The idea is to give my wife the reality that she is in control, and I will stop at any time she uninvites my advnaces. Sometimes, I feel discouraged by my wife's rejection, and I take an attitude of resentment, toward my wife, as a person. There have been a several threads about differences in the frequency of the desire for sex, within couples. There is a SEXUAL FOREPLAY AND TECHNIQUES Section on SF, which explains better ways to avoid getting rejected. I started this thread about attitudes, because I sometimes fail to take the best attitude that would make the relationship more mutually supportive. I have not discussed much about attitudes in this first post, as I am just trying to set up the parameters justifying this new thread. Sometimes, my taking a poor attitude about getting rejected, couses my wife to repond with unfriendly attitudes, and then we have an unpleasant few minutes, hours or days. So the downward spiral goes: I make an advance; wife rejects my advance; I take a resentful attitued; Wife responds unpleasantly to my attitude; and we both feel disappointed with each other; so my advances have even less chance of succeeding. In order to avoid the downward spiral, I need to take a healthy attidude about rejections for my advances. Usually, I just try some reconfigured, less agressive, advances again, after some period of minutes or hours.