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  1. I called in sick today. You can't get any work done on Halloween. The kids are too excited, or too cool - but nobody is paying attention. So, I called school and told them I had a stomach bug.

    Three hours later I was actually sick. Karma is a bitch.

    So, I got to enjoy candy bowl duty. Which was fun and pleasant. I was really impressed at some of the costumes I saw. It is nice to see people put in the effort. One kid in a wheelchair was dressed up as a dragon rider - totally awesome.

    Wife went out chaperoning younger kids. We used to take turns chaperoning Daughter, but she is old enough to take a couple of younger kids under her wings and look out for them. We are quite proud of her.
    There was a minor mishap, though. Daughter was dressed as a witch. I did not know that witches wore short skirts and showed off way too much of their midriff, but, as Wife and Daughter pointed out, I don't know anything.

    Of course Daughter and Current Boyfriend went off later. She had mentioned that she might not come home tonight.

    Around 7 pm Wife called to tell me that Coach was going to take her to a proper Halloween party. I didn't even know there were Halloween parties going on. Sure, the kids always have parties - school be damned. But Halloween parties for adults? But, Coach knew a party, and he was going to take her there.

    She got home at 6 am, smelling of sex, and barely able to move. I haven't seen her fall asleep this quickly ever.
  2. It is half past midnight right now, and I am home alone.

    I have decided not to use any names, but rather named placeholders. True, the situation is an open secret at school, but there is need to exacerbate things.

    Wife, love of my life, mother of my daughter, my wife of 17 years now, is out with Coach. Coach is a high school coach, and also happens to be the guy she lost her virginity to. That happened almost thirty years ago - they ran into each other three years ago when Wife picked up our daughter from cheer practice. They reconnected.

    When she left she was wearing her long coat, and only her coat, and a pair of handcuffs he slapped on her wrists. He then bundled her into his truck, and off they went. That happened almost seven hours ago. He did tell me not to wait up, they were going to meet some friends.

    Daughter is out, too. She has a new boyfriend, again. He is a football player. Again. He is also in my class, which makes the whole situation very awkward. From an academic point of view she could do a lot better. I did not tell her that, of course.
    They are at a party together. I gave him the whole "You are responsible for her" speech. He looked at me as if I was from some weird universe.