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  1. It's been fights all day, week, month, year? I can't even count back to when this all started. We've been digging through this pile of shit w tools so tiny it seems as tho we have gone no where.

    I must admit, at times, this all looks pointless. How much happiness have we sacrificed for a relationship that may not exist?

    We speak lies we believe to be truths so much so we can't distinguish one from the other anymore. We pretend it will all work out if we can just get through the next few mins, hours? They go by so fast we can't begin to figure what's been accomplished, if anything.

    You are gone most times and I still listen carefully for a turn of the key in the door downstairs. I imagine you coming home wo warning just to hold me, to tell me it will be ok, to just be here w me. But I suppose after so much hurt and hostility, this is the dream of a silly little girl.

    When did all this life happen to us?