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I've never been a sexual Adonis in any sense of the term. High school was hell...college was a desperate attempt to crawl out...Junior year I was finally able to crawl out and look down at all the chaos I had crawled out of...and Senior year I was pushed off the edge when I wasn't looking by a demon in the shape of a 23 year old Japanese girl.
Living on your own gives you time to discover who you are, time to sit back and really make serious decisions as to what you want from your life...some you can change, some you can't. I've come across both, and while some of my personal flaws are close to being smoothed over completely, I can't fix the physical...well...mostly.
Green was never an appealing color to me...if you asked me a few years ago about eating more green food I would tell you that if you found something green on your meat or bread you would throw it out without thinking twice. Now I'm much better...much...healthier. Belts fit better, pants are much baggier, and for once in my life I'm getting hit on.
My dick however proves to be a continuing enemy. Always working with the American Mentality of "Instant Gratification." Online advice has given me some techniques...none of which are easy to start and none are very dignified in any way.
Despite this, I sit in my room. Reluctant to leave, not abiding alcohol much, not caring for the bar or night club scene, and certainly not wanting to meet someone their even if I was. That leaves me with work.
Did I mention I work at a museum?
At least I know when I start pushing 70, I have my pick of the litter waiting for me there. There are younger prospects, but that would mean breaking marriage vows.
Do not take this as an angsty rant. By no means. In fact, I am optimistic. I'm always looking, always on the prowl. My territory may not be great, but the great lion cannot be too picky about his kingdom. Sooner or later, he always gets what he's looking for.
Look out world, here I come!