MEN IN SEXLESS MARRIAGES BETTER OFF SINGLE
I want to leave a message behind before I bite the big one, which I hope won't be too long now, I've suffered enough. Yes, I'm crying in my beer.
This is aimed at a narrow slice of married men, some of whom are on this forum. I'm talking about the unfortunate creature who over the last couple of years, has told this story of their pitiful lives in a sexless marriage. If you're in the last third of your life, it's probably too late. It's much too late for me, as I've reached the stage that assures me I'm on the downhill run. If this scenario doesn't fit you, don't waste your time reading it, you're not the guy I'd like to try to save. Several of you men have said on this forum that you're living in a sexless marriage, don't want to leave the family you started, love your kids and don't want to hurt them by divorcing their mother. You may benefit from this, but then, you can chose to ignore it and go on for the rest of your life wishing you had taken my advice. After 50 years being married to the same woman, loving her through most of those years, I find myself getting up each and every day wishing I could go back and do it all over. Every day I think about what I did wrong. I now realize I have nothing to look forward to. I have sufficient reason, in my own mind, why I wouldn't end it with a .38 Revolver, which I keep for home protection. My life insurance wouldn't pay off, and both of my pensions would stop. I did my two column thing, putting all the plusses in my life on the left side and all the negatives on the right. I have a good recliner, I have enough income to keep the two of us comfortable, warm, well fed, and a new roof over my head. I have a reliable car that gets me any where I want to go. Now the negatives: I had a heart attack back in 1992 followed by a small stroke. My breathing is impaired so any exertion leaves me gasping for breath. I'm type II diabetic, on insulin. My kidneys are failing. I can't stand to watch television so it stays on all day just for noise. I have a wife who is and has always been intellectually backward. She has no curiosity for anything new. I have a 47 year old son who is living in our house, so I never have any privacy, all my dreams of a comfortable retirement thrown to the wayside by my wife's decision to let him live with us, as his psychologist says he can't live alone (panic attacks). No matter how many times we have discussed my need to have a sex life, she will not participate, in any way. The only relief I have is masturbation. I read a lot, but it's only so I don't have to think about what I should have done years ago, had I forseen what is happening now.
This is where the advice comes in: Don't let it go this way. Yes, a divorce is hard on everybody. Being miserable for the next 20... 30...40 years is much worse, believe me. You can weather a couple of years of difficult times, but look around you and see the 60% of marriages that split up. Most of them live comfortable lives. You will even get used to living with less income, but you'll be able to sleep every night. You have no way to see how difficult it will be if you continue in a sexless marriage. If you're inclined to talk about it, PM me. No man should have to suffer for the rest of his life knowing no relief is in sight.
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