Just sitting here drinking a liter of Bacardi Raz, probably one of my favorite malt liquors, wishing that people could follow through. My first potential lay just plain quit talking. My second I haven't heard from in a week. I had someone on craigslist who had a casuals ad up, and when I responded to it, agreed to come and have some fun.
After his message telling me his plans got fucked up for that day, and he'd come the next day, he still didn't show up. Now he hasn't replied.
I almost swore off of women and went straight-up gay after all the drama I've been through in the last 3 months. Now I just realize that no one seems to want to follow through on what they say they'll do.
At this rate, I'm just going to have to say fuck it and somehow get a bus/train/plane ticket down to Nevada and go to the bunny ranch (I don't want to break the law, and whores on the street could have god knows what, and I'm not even sure about how to go about finding a prostitute without getting in trouble).
I'd rather not have to do that, since I'd rather have enough money to move to NC, but then again, that also depends on if I can find potential employment/living arrangements before I get there.
And as much as I love my friends / potential SO down there, getting them to scout out apartments/jobs to let me know about them is like pulling teeth. Just doesn't seem to happen.
I'm just so confused and frustrated. I guess I'll keep drinking the rest of my Bacardi and play some Minecraft. Or the Sims 3. I like the Sims 3. At least the avatar for me has found someone to love, because I can't seem to ffs.
*raises bottle* Here's to trying to enjoy a night alone. Sorry for the long, emo post. I really am. I hate being emo so fucking bad. I just really, really need some companionship, someone who loves me for the perverted, geeky, goof-ball that I am (I really am a goof-ball when I'm not so depressed. Nerf wars in Walmart and all that XD). Is that so much to ask for Universe? You give it to so many other people, can I have someone?
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