Today was supposed to be a monumental day for me; a situation similar to Cowboy Lover's "Will I ever reach the promised land?" You know how it is when you have wished and wished for something, anything, and you find out that you get your wish, only to lose it at the last moment. And it would be one thing if the possibility of that wish coming true was completely taken away. It's another when the carrot is left dangling in front of you. I feel like a slave with an indecisive master; "You can. No you can't. Yes you can. No you can't. OH WAIT, I've changed my mind, yes you CAN!" (Do you see the irritating nymph monster in your mind that is making me want to pluck my brain out from all of this?) :yell
Do wishes ever really come true? Or, by the luck of the draw, do you sometimes get just that much of a taste of it to call it "enough"? I don't want "just enough". I want my damn wish! This is actually a frequent conversation topic between a good friend and myself. What IS enough? How do you know? How do you explain it to someone else? For example, I want someone to love me ENOUGH to include me in their life and decisions. By that I do NOT mean that I want someone to love me enough to do this from time to time. I want someone to love me enough to always want to tell me, and always wonder what my thoughts might be in a decision. That does not mean I'm a selfish, insane nut who always wants my way. This person does not have to always (or even EVER) go with MY perspective on a decision. I just want to be loved enough that my input is desired...considered.
Okay, ENOUGH jibberish for today. Back to the regularly scheduled sex talk....
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