your spouse has cheated...

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by redics_girl, Jun 14, 2013.

  1. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

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    would you rather it be with a stranger or with someone you personally know?


    OP note- do not turn this into a discussion of the immorality of cheating- it happens. we know its bad. but obviously, it still happens. i just want a simple answer to my question. Thanks.
     
  2. kipro150

    kipro150 Member

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    Both of them would make me feel like shit. But I guess a stranger since its easier to be out of sight and out of mind and more of an abstract feeling than with someone you know. But that's all 100% speculating

    The end result would be the same for the relationship
     
  3. mars74

    mars74 Member

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    I would it rather it be a stranger.....if its a friend then you lose both a partner and a friend....double your loss and betrayal..
     
  4. Mittimer

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    That's a hard question to answer really. I wouldn't want it to be a stranger because then I would wonder where the hell he/she is meeting these people. There's more of a "behind my back" stance to it.

    On the other hand, if it were a friend, then of course I would be angry at both my SO and the friend, and I would be losing both a friend and a lover. It's a shitty situation.

    I would prefer no cheating at all.
     
  5. minskminx

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    This is also my answer.
     
  6. policescanner1

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    I have been with both a Friend and Stranger. For me the stranger made me feel worse about myself than the Friend. We did not know each other as it was a random meeting at a paramedic conference. We both we so ashamed of what happened that I still have a guilty conscious about it today. And no I was not married at the time.
     
  7. backcheck64

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    Doesn't matter, either way the relationship is over.
     
  8. Texas_Red

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    This.
     
  9. Itouchtomuch

    Itouchtomuch New Member

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    I had a friend one time try to take my wife. We were on the skids at the time, so he tried to take advantage of it. So as pissed off as I got about that, I'd have to say stranger.
     
  10. Meee

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    If it was with someone I know, it's possible that I'll understand the circumstances differently and we might be able to save the relationship somehow. If it's with someone I don't know, I'd just feel that the situation is beyond my control, and the relationship would have to end.
     
  11. wsc

    wsc
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    I lived with someone back in the late 1980s. I was 22yrs old and had been with the woman for 2 years when she began shagging a mate of ours. As we lived in a house with 3 other friends everyone knew about it before me. My mates didn't know how to tell me and i ended up losing a partner and the mate she'd cheated with.
    Id have preferred it not to have happened at all...but these things do...but it was definitely worse that it was with a friend.
     
  12. phish

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    I would say this is my answer too.
     
  13. 12barblues

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    I suppose I would hope I were in an open relationship at the time.... That way it just wouldn't matterIf not... Then I gotta go with what BC said.....
     
  14. AtkCCC

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    Sucks either way but if I had to answer...Stranger
     
  15. boobjob

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    If she cheated and I never found out I would hope that it was with a friend. Once I find out though I feel that there is more of a possibility to reconcile if its a stranger. If its a friend there would be more complications in all of us trying to move on. Someone would end up being the odd man out and not being reconciled.
     
  16. luvbug

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    Im with backcheck and Red on this.

    Whether its a friend or stranger the relationship would be over and somebody would be dead.
     
  17. ISOParadiseCity

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    I would say a stranger for the above reason.
    I have been cheated on, and she did it with a guy that was a stranger-to-me.
    At least I never had to see the guy, or worry about mutual friends kind of things.
    If it was with a friend of mine, it would be so much worse. I would lose a gf and friend at the same time.
     
  18. Ready2Please

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    X2
     
    Mittimer likes this.
  19. Miamia

    Miamia Member

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    A friend of mine is trying an open relationship with her boyfriend. There are two rules: Don't have sex with the same person more than once and just have sex with strangers that you'll probably never meet again.

    The reason is: As long as it's just having sex, it doesn't threaten the relationship. But if emotions are developed... it's precarious. One is more likely to develop emotions to a friend or to an acquaintance compared to a stranger.

    As the last point is transferable to a non-open-relationship, I could forgive being cheated more easily if the other person was a stranger.
     
  20. AtkCCC

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    I just don't see that working to well in the long run, hope the best for them. That being said, Wifey and I have been involved with other couples/singles in the past but as a couple mostly and with consent. I know, sound almost the same but we have our own rules.