your opinions please

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by justaniceguy, Oct 11, 2012.

  1. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2011
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    russia
    hyer all, I may have already done a thread like this one, if I have I apologize.......I do need some good advice please ........Ok........My wife has been in the army as her past husband and father were in the forces so she as a child has known the army way of life more than civy street.........Ok she has been chatting to many guys on facebook from the past army days which I have no problem with, and she goes to army reunions every year, with her son whom was in the army too....I have no problem with this nor the fact she is chatting to her old buddies...........But Ive noticed that she seems to be chatting to one particular man regularly and it shows up on google history plus a couple of times her facebook has been open by her not realising it is showing whom she has been chatting too......Now all the other guys she keeps conversation but this particular guy she deletes conversation!!!!!SUS I am.......I had mentioned whom this man is as Ive not met him, and she said he is from the army, bla bla, I said oh ok its just you seem to be chatting to him very regular. She said dont be silly.....................But the thing is double standards yer, when I say Im gunna chat to woman friends on facebook and just as amicable chat she does not like this what so ever.......I say to her these woman Ive either worked with in the past or I know them from wherever........ Do you think Im over reacting here or she is wrong or am I being too soft here!!!!!????? I would appreciate your honest opinions...Thanks
     
  2. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,964
    Likes Received:
    5,077
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Good enough for the goose is good enough for the gander.
     
  3. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    3,974
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IL
    She has something to hide I guarantee it. It might not be something sexual that's she's hiding though. Maybe it's something else that she doesn't want you to know.
     
  4. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2011
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    russia
    AGFUNK: My thoughts exactly......I really dont mind her chatting but this is making me suspicious, I did say to her that if she is gunna chat to all these guys then Im gunna make a be line for chatting to woman.......She can do it then I can.......Oh another thing I noticed yer, she asked him for his mobile number....BIG TIME
     
  5. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    3,974
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IL
    In all honesty you both should be able to talk to whoever you want. However you shouldn't hide what you're talking about from a significant other. If she doesn't want to talk to you about it you can always ask her how she would feel if you deleted conversations from just one person.
     
  6. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2011
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    russia
    AGFUNK; But what if she thinks Im spying on her, it was by accident that my suspicions got raised.......Im open to a lot of things yer, obviously why Im on here, but yes quite rightly so she should not keep this from me, and if so why?.....Yes there has got to be more to this than I think......Do you think Ive given her the ammo to do this....Because Ive told her openly what I like sexually and she is gobsmacked, Ive only ever been honest ,I would not necessarily go through with fantasies only if we were honest throughout hope this hasnt made her feel like seeing someone else(online affair)etc..
     
  7. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    3,974
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IL
    It's not spying if you just saw it because she left the window open. You can either try to talk to her about it or let it eat you up inside and going crazy thinking of all the bad things that could be going on.
     
  8. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2011
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    russia
    AGFUNK; I have spoke to her about it, she says theres nothing going on and she is absolute clear.....But Im sorly not convinced ....18 of being together!!
     
  9. sandwich

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2012
    Messages:
    2,614
    Likes Received:
    2,415
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Just....deleting conversations with the one guy while not deleting the conversations with other guys is definitely suspicious. From having read your posts and talking with you it just really seems like she is kind of high strung about a whole lot of things. It may not even be sexual or emotional, but who knows? So here is my question...what (if any) things has she covered up in the past?
     
  10. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2011
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    russia
    Hi SANDWICH.....Right she has been married 3 times not that this is the issue....She had a brief encounter with her ex husband as I knew she still had feeling for him so I instigated her to get them feelings out of her system in which she did, she wanted me, tho it nearly teared me apart....Im wondering if im the one that shud be blamed as Im bringing all this shit up regards to my sexual preferences, but I never push nything onto her as I respect her....If she said Ian, she wanted a guy to fuck then as long as I knew about it then Im cool....But behind my back, different scenario...
     
  11. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2011
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    russia
    oh forgot, SANDWICH; She is 20 years older than myself, been together for 18 years, im 43.....Is the age starting to tell on us both???
     
  12. sandwich

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2012
    Messages:
    2,614
    Likes Received:
    2,415
    Gender:
    Female
    This is the woman who claims she does not masturbate and gave you a hard time about your habit....am I remembering that correctly? And now you have mentioned the encounter she had, so sorry to say this, but things are just not adding up in my mind. And what did she do to lose all those husbands?
     
  13. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2012
    Messages:
    535
    Likes Received:
    88
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA

    So that would make her 63?
     
  14. paintedblue

    paintedblue Member

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2011
    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Home
    You know, even though on the surface it may appear that she is being deceitful and possible screwing around, but there could be another explanation.

    This guy may just be a confidant.. someone whom she can talk to about thing such as your relationship, without having to worry abou upsetting you. That would explain why she is deleting the messages as well. If she is talking to this guy as she would one of her girlfriends, then you really dont have anything to worry about. Jumping to conclusions will only create animosity and distrust between you two.. and that is every bit as toxic to a relationship as cheating.

    That being said, without solid proof of her infidelity, you are just going to have to trust her.
     
  15. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2011
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    russia
    thank guys for your comments.....all taken on board......Yes she has taken his email address down plus tel number...maybe im jumping to conclusions......who knows
     
  16. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2012
    Messages:
    535
    Likes Received:
    88
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    Do you suppose she might be thinking you are having an affair because you are bring up all the sexual stuff to her?
     
  17. justaniceguy

    justaniceguy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2011
    Messages:
    266
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    russia
    BitchN;......I told her all my desires and fantasies yer in truthfulness, not that I would fulfil them in reality, tho if she was game and she wanted to carry out these then good, In no way have I ever said I want you to do........I had mentioned these desires once and that was all........She took it as I was a perv, and could not understand why I would want to do this stuff.....Im saying, cuckolding as a one off, not that I want to go with another woman no....Not that I would want her to carry on cuckolding etc....But I think she has taken all this what Ive said the wrong way and there is no reason for her to think Im having an affair because I dont believe in affairs, Thats why Im worried that she may be getting emotionally involved with this guy...................Going back to the sex side, Ive even talked to her about strip poker only between us both but she just says why play that.....I mean no wonder why I go on here.....Can you not blame me.....I love her loads I mean that, but I need to find her ticking spot to work on....After 18 years you wud have thought I have...
     
  18. sandwich

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2012
    Messages:
    2,614
    Likes Received:
    2,415
    Gender:
    Female

    It occurred to me that it might have sounded like I was saying that something about you doesn't add up, so to clarify...I was thinking that the things your wife say do not seem to add up in the sense that they don't strike me as being consistent with how one individual would be. I was also thinking of other things you said she said. Maybe she is just one of those people whose thoughts are all over the place.
     
  19. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2012
    Messages:
    535
    Likes Received:
    88
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    Ok NiceGuy......in the mind of a woman, but not the women on here...here they are more open minded and a lot more sexual. But your woman has to be wondering where you are coming up with all these new sexual things you would like to do. You have been married for 18 years, so why are you bringing it up now, are you not happy with her.....etc. That is what I believe she might be thinking. So she might think you ate getting these ideas from another woman.....and that might be why she is talking to this guy, asking him questions like "do you think he's cheating". "Why all of a sudden does he want to do all these things". Getting his opinion......that could explain her deleting the messages.
    How often does she talk with him?
     
  20. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2011
    Messages:
    396
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Michigan
    Dude there should be no expectation of privacy between spouses, if she has to hide something she knows she's doing something wrong. If you were willingling allowing her to cheat on you, then she'd have a reason to lose respect for you.

    Maybe at her age she doesn't have the hormones to fuel the drive and it might be harmless to her, can she speak for him?

    I don't care if you have to secretly set up a keylogger to find out what's going on, husbands do that and you haven't gone nearly that far.

    Make this about the simple fact that it is a suspicious and deceptive pattern of behaviour, and the simple fact that you suspect something inappropriate is going on outght to be enough for her to be completely open about what's going on or cut it off openly and completely. As in sending a no-contact letter and deleting and blocking all contact. All in a manner that you can see. And no more deleting.
     
    #20 MILF_Rider, Oct 12, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2012