Young and unsatisfied with new sexual partner.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Ithrin, Feb 2, 2007.

  1. Ithrin

    Ithrin New Member

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    Me and my girlfriend have been having sex for about an month and a half and it is horrible :( I am her first sexual partner and I try to coach her and in bed try to do some of it my way but she says it hurts or she wants to do it her way. Which leads to about 10 mins of her simply just moving around on top of me, not actually moving on my penis the normal way in order for me to ejaculate. Half the time we only have sex when she wants to, and the only foreplay we do is her giving me oral, I ask her if I can give her oral and she says no, lets just have sex, half the time I just make my way down there without asking but she always says no and then just wants to have sex for about 10 mins until SHE is finished.
    The sex is horrible and I am just left with an erect penis. Afterwards I am mad because I get no satisfaction from the 15-20 mins of sex. All I can think about is how bad the sex is and then I just get angry at her. But then I feel horrible because I just feel like a pervert because I'm mad that I didnt come. But the point is I have NEVER came during sex, we've had sex atleast 30 times!
    I love my girlfriend and I would do anything for her but now I am fed up with it and I just don't feel like having sex with her anymore. I want to tell her but I dont want to tell her she is bad in bed, it is only her first experience with sex but still....Am I bad boyfriend? How do I tell her without hurting her feelings or making her feel like she is not good enough? And most importantly, how do I tell her to properly have sex with me??
     
  2. doberman

    doberman New Member

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    well, in my humble opinion, judging by the way you are posting, yes, you are a bad lover.. i wasnt a good lover until i had a girl that had the patience telling me how to do it better.. even my first "real" girlfriend which i stayed with for more than two years, we both were virgins at the time, must of thought i was a bad lover.. because not only, but mostly, i only took care of my own needs and wantings..

    on a second note, you are asking "how do i tell her how to have good (again, this is only for YOU) sex with me". why dont you use the tools that were not only, but also, given to you, like your mouth and your tongue? they are not there in the first place to suck and lick your girlfriends pussy.. remember, before you had this girlfriend, what did you use them for? right, talking and sucking on lollypops either.. :D

    that was a friendly posting of mine, only to get you thinking a little..
     
  3. The Mistress

    The Mistress New Member

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    How old is your girlfriend?

    And how much experience do you have in this dept. if you don't mind me asking?

    What positions are you using?
     
  4. Ithrin

    Ithrin New Member

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    "well, in my humble opinion, judging by the way you are posting, yes, you are a bad lover"

    Wait, I am confused by this response. Are you saing I'm bad lover in bed or bad boyfriend? I dont mean to boast but she always has a orgasim, it is very strange to tell you the truth lol. I'm not the on bad in bed, trust me...Um Doberman, your reply was very unclear in my opinion, please next time post more clearly.

    Were both 18 years old.

    Before her and I, I had sex a handful of times, I'm not saying I'm great at it but I am confident in myself, I need alot of work though lol.

    Uh positions, just um, I guess her lying flat on top of me or me lying flat on top of her. A week ago I finally tryed to get more creative but she acted like it hurt, but honestly I can't really comment on if position has anything to do with it, she has just been starting to move around more easily.
     
  5. Shy Girl

    Shy Girl New Member

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    For good sex to happen, BOTH lovers need to be committed to doing so I think.If she wants to be pleased, she needs to be willing to please you also.

    You guys need to sit down and have a serious talk about this, but you need to be patient with her. If she still decides that sex is all about HER, then I would gather you're both sexually incompatible for each other
     
  6. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    My thinking too, Jaded Rose. Really you probably need to
    do a lot more foreplay and just ease into it from their.
    When having good sex Don't ask, Don't tell just do it.

    And I may add that She could be having pain during intercourse,
    See to it that She sees a Dr for a check up down their
    their is many things that can cause pain their.
    and her not wanting oral is enough to cause alarm.:sf
    .
     
  7. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Maybe you're too big for her Ithrin, if you are it'll take a little while before she's comfortable.
    I gather she wasn't a virgin when you first had sex, you didn't say?
     
  8. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I tend to agree with jaded Rose. I think the main problem lies in the fact that she seems to have no regard for YOUR pleasure and orgasm. That sends a red flag.

    It's unusual that the girl gets off, and the guy is left hanging. Usually, in young couples, it's the other way around. :ugh
     
  9. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    Agreed. I wonder if she is really getting off too from just penatration.

    Ithrin, the only thing I can tell you is you'll have to put the time in to open her up to learning new things and trusting you. Personally I'd work on convincing her on getting oral.
     
  10. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I just have to say that if the majority of the people in the world had amazing, mind blowing sex all the damn time........ we wouldn't need places like this. We all get to be bad sometimes. And we all have to deal with a sucky experience a time or two. It makes us appreciate those "earth shaking" moments.

    She's been having sex for a month. Uhm, she's sorta supposed to suck. I disagree that you should assume right off that she's a selfish lover. Perhaps right now she's trying to figure out, like most newly deflowered women do, what the big deal is. Be the bigger person. Love her, help her explore this, and teach her the dirty tricks to rocking your world at the same time. But don't get angry at her, or be disappointed in her, it's far too soon. And get the "she's horrible in bed" sentence out of your head right now, and don't think it again. Think of it as a teacher-student relationship. Any student can only be as good (smart, successful) as their best teacher allows them to be. Take some of the blame........ and work together to make it a successful, beautiful sexual relationship.
     
  11. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    In any event I would not be complaining because both you are quite young and inexperienced. If you truly love her then you will be patient and help her along the way. Sex is not about pleasure for one. It is about trust and communication that is expressed in an emotional-physical way. From your posting I would have to say you need to spend time outside of the bedroom developing your relationship more with her and based on your posting I do not feel you are doing enough for her. Take time to romance her and talk with her about your issues. It is only through developing a bond that this issue will be overcomed.