You Know You Are A Swinger When...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bella, Jun 24, 2007.

  1. Bella

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    Thought I would share this email I got! :)
    ~Bella

    You Know You Are A Swinger When...

    You bring condoms to a PTA meeting.

    You travel half way across the country to visit in-laws but
    try to fit in a club visit while doing so

    More of your clothing budget goes toward skank outfits than to
    career/business outfits
    (even though you have to wear the latter 5 days a week).

    You have a vasectomy but you carry condoms, just in case.

    You AND your SO can look at another person, look at each other,
    and simultaneously go "I'd totally "do" her".

    You are always finding high-heel shoes and men's undershorts
    around the house that your friends have forgotten to take home.

    Your wife looks at a pile of condoms on the floor - dropped there
    after a night at the club - and says, "looks like one heck of a party."
    And you reply, "Not really. They aren't open..."

    You invest in a playroom and kids aren't allowed in it.

    You have a friendship with your waxer and visit him or her religiously.

    When you have spent at least ten times more time and money visiting
    out of town swinger friends in the last few years than you have
    out of town family.

    When your wife mentions "Jim", and your reply is "Jim & Traci,
    or Jim and Carol, or Jim from the other night?"

    When you fall asleep watching porn because it's just too boring

    When shopping for a bed you consider whether we can ALL
    fit comfortably instead of what's in our budget

    When your co-workers are all talking Monday morning about what
    they did over the weekend and you just grin thinking
    "It's not what I did; It's who I did... "

    You have an eye hook in your living room ceiling for the loveswing

    Sex with spouse during the week increases dramatically after
    a weekend at the club

    When you tune in a TV program called Wife Swap and discover it
    has nothing at all to do with.

    When your husband often says to you as an endearment,
    "You're my favorite".

    When absolutely EVERY thing you say can be taken more then one way

    You don't go to strip clubs any more while on business trips,
    because it is just no fun without your wife

    When vanilla friends ask you where you went on your vacation,
    and you say Cancun, but when they ask the resort name you tell
    them you forgot. And when we show them pictures of the resort,
    they ask why there are no people in the pictures and you respond
    "We took them while everyone was eating dinner."

    You haven't seen them in so long, you aren't even sure if you
    still own a swimsuit.

    Your kids are the ones asking....where are you going...
    who you going with...and when will you be home

    You see a couple that you "know" out in public, and you think
    "Crap,acknowledge them, or don't acknowledge them?
    Say 'hi', or look away.......
    oh shit we're making this complicated."

    When you go to vanilla parties that once seemed exciting for you,
    you get bored, you look around,
    and you realize this world is suddenly SO FLAT!
     
  2. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Absolutely true!! LOL.
     
  3. Bella

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    Thanks Mel baby! :cheer
    ~Bella
     
  4. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I've done just about every one of those things. Hubby doesn't tell me I'm his favorite though.
     
  5. Bella

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    Well, I would!
    [​IMG]
    ~Bella
     
  6. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    I would too, Mel
     
  7. Bella

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    I said it first! :eyes
    :lol
    ~Bella
     
  8. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Me too Mel.

    Hiker
     
  9. Bella

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    Get in line Hiker! :lol
    ~Bella
     
  10. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Dammit Babe I've been in this line 4 years now
    But I am NOT giving up yet.

    Hiker
     
  11. Bella

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    4 Years? :shrug
    What line would that be? :rofl
    ~Bella
     
  12. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Thank you. I was curious about the same thing.....
     
  13. angel_n_sneye

    angel_n_sneye Member

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    "You don't go to strip clubs any more while on business trips,
    because it is just no fun without your wife" ... That is soooo true

    Looks like Mel is everyone's favorite :)


    Sneye
     
  14. Bella

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    She's one of my favs!! :woohoo
    ~Bella