Ya know, sometimes I'm just not sure what's going on.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Jayce, Jun 30, 2007.

  1. Jayce

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    In a nutshell, I've been dating this girl for 3 or 4 months now. Everything seems perfect, until recently. She's a great person who's been hurt many times before and just wanted somebody who was compatible with her. She seemed so happy that she met me and we just hit it off.

    Lately however she's been extremely blah towards me and I'm not sure how to handle it, I feel like anything I say/do she gets annoyed by. For example, she doesn't have a job right now. So she's looking frantically for a job. She has an opportunity at this one place to start at a very decent wage, and she's pushing to get in. The trick is, if she gets in she's not sure if she'll be able to get any days off. AKA, means I'll lose 200 bucks on the 700 that I just spent for reservations on our beach trip in August. Last night she asked me to stop talking about the beach trip. I was so struck I thought in my head, well fuck this, and just stopped talking to her. I felt like anything I said or did she was pissed, so whatever.

    About ten minutes go by and she ims me and says she's just not sure what to do. She feels so bad about the beach trip however she may be able to go. She said I just need to focus on getting my bills paid off first and this job can help me do that so easily. I said okay fine.

    Another thing is she's considering going into the air force if she can't get this job. I'm all about her doing something for herself, but sometimes I'm not so sure if she's confident in all of these decisions she makes. In the last week, the I love you's have stopped unless I say it first, we haven't had time to hang out cause the one time we had the chance she cancelled plans since she said she felt sick and felt like garbage since she hadn't had a shower all day. The other thing is, there's a good chance her best friend is moving 4 hours away, so I know she's bothered by that too.

    I just don't know. I asked her last night if she was okay, she said yeah. I said I just have the vibe something is bugging ya. She said no. Okay fine, but why the hell am I getting this kind of blah response out of her on EVERYTHING?

    Tonight my buddy invited her and I over, I asked her to go last week. Ever since she's just been saying I think I can go. She said I think I have something planned on saturday but I'm not sure what. Well, it's saturday, and I'm still getting the I think I can go.

    Sometimes I seriously want to run my head into a wall. Why not just give me a straight answer? Why beat around the bush? Why am I getting this demeanor from her? The more I try the more I fail, yet I feel like if I let her go and give her space I'll lose her.

    This just fucking sucks.
     
  2. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Hmm...sounds like she's got a lot going on right now and she might feel like she's being pulled in several different directions. My advice would be to back off. The stress of not having a job and trying to get one is most likely affecting her a great deal. Tell her that you'd love to spend time with her but that you'll just wait until she's ready. I know you don't want to give her space because you're afraid you'll lose her but this might be an opportunity to find out if you're meant to be together. If you give her some space and she still wants to be with you then you're meant to be together, and if you drift apart then it just wasn't meant to be.

    Also, tell her that you're a man and therefore you need straight and honest answers. Tell her that she needn't be afraid of hurting or disappointing you if she might not be able to do something with you. That's probably why she always says she "thinks" she can do something, because she feels that she can't disappoint you.
     
  3. Jayce

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    I've given her space all week, all while talking to her now and then throughout the week and seeing how she was and whatnot. It just seems like we're disconnected, yet I don't know if it's because all of our conversation this week was 1 phone call and the rest instant message conversations or what.

    This shit just sucks. Sometimes I wonder why I bother...