[Ask a Girl] Would you fool around with a guy that has a girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by talldarknaverage, Apr 24, 2011.

  1. talldarknaverage

    talldarknaverage New Member

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    Yesterday I went for lunch with a friend and it turned into an all day/night drinking festival. From 1:30 in the afternoon, until closing we drank. During this time we were approached by two absolutely stunning young ladies, one of whom my friend knew (and had slept with in the past, I later learned.) They spent the evening drinking with us and I got to be very friendly with one of the two. I told her early on that I had a girlfriend, because I'm an honest person, but I became so drunk that I lost my senses and was terribly flirtatious and wanted to kiss her and would have slept with her if it had been possible. She would not have it though, because I have a gf (fortunately..this girl was smarter than I). Her and her friend did however insist that I slap her ass throughout the evening, so I did and it was great. She had a great ass...must of liked having it slapped, and perhaps enjoyed seeing me frustrated. She gave me her number and did mention that she definetely would have made out with me if I had been single. It was a great night, but I feel like a jerk for behaving that way since I do have GF.

    Girls, do you think I was a jerk? What would you have done had you been this girl?

    Another random girl came by and gave me her number the same evening and said, "Call me if that doesn't work out for you." I was kind of flabbergasted because girls were sort of all over me last night, that usually doesn't happen. I left her number on the table. Now I have a terrible hangover. Thoughts?
     
  2. Mittimer

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    Thoughts?
    Had I found out that my boyfriend/SO were slapping the ass of some random girl behind my back for an entire night, I'd likely hand his ass to him.

    I will not sleep with a married man or man with a girlfriend unless the girlfriend is present. Furthermore, I wouldn't so much as KISS the guy let alone have sexual advances.

    You were inconsiderate and a jerk.
     
  3. Meee

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    Would you fool around with a guy that has a girlfriend? No.

    Girls, do you think I was a jerk? Yes. So was the girl. So was your friend.

    What would you have done had you been this girl? Chatted with you politely and nothing more.

    Now I have a terrible hangover. Good.

    Thoughts? If we're at a party or something and I'm right there and the boyfriend knows I'm giving him a watchful eye, I will let him play around a little with other girls. When he gets warmed up at a party, he can be very silly and smacking somebody on the ass on request is something he would do. I'm the same way really. But without my being there? I can't think of any way I'd be comfortable with that.
     
  4. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    you're an asshole.

    tell your girlfriend what happened and get punched in the face
     
  5. Chronichaze

    Chronichaze New Member

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    Well wanting to cheat on your gf is wrong but point being you didn't so you're still in safe standing as far as your conscious is concerned. If I were you I'd either break up or stay together with her if you really love her. Problem with life is you can't have everything you want without sacrificing something in return. Having a serious monogamist relationship isn't possible if you're messing around with other women because sooner or later something will come to light. If you do it enough it's a given.

    Some nights are like that where you go on hot streaks with women. Got to keep on your best behavior out on the town with your boys when you got a girl. I've done wrong before, though I regretted my mistakes every time. Alcohol+good lookin women+gf= big problems lol. Women are so tempting...:eyes
     
  6. 6stringking

    6stringking Member

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    I feel bad for seeing you reamed a new one by all the girls, But in short, yeah you were a jerk, but it seems that you knew what you did wrong so at least thats a step up from almost every other guy I've seen and heard of.
    I know my Fiance would have killed me if i ever did that, but she wouldn't break up with me especially if i admitted i was wrong.

    What you should take away from this is KNOW YOUR LIMIT. And im not talking about your pass out limit, im talking about your limit to the point where you consider anything like this again, thats what i do and it works for me and i still get to drink quite a bit. If you did this again then either A.) your GF should break up with you or B.) you shouldn't be in a relationship. (sorry if this seems harsh) but thats just common sense man. Hopefully you have learned your lesson with that hangover. And telling your GF is completely up to you, if you feel you learned your lesson then don't, if you feel you haven't then you probably should. But thats just me. GL in the future, and this is coming from a guy who has never cheated or even thought of cheated.
     
    #6 6stringking, Apr 25, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2011
  7. talldarknaverage

    talldarknaverage New Member

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    Thanks for the responses. I have questioned myself over the rest of the weekend and decided I will not tell my GF these details. She knows I went out and got destroyed (which she seems to get a laugh out of) and knows I was talking to girls...which she doesn't get too riled up about. I don't want to hurt her and I don't want her to hit me with a frying pan on the head so I'm chalking this one up to live and learn. No one repects a guy who behaves the way I did, the girl your flirting with probably thinks your a jerk even if she wants a piece of you, and you cant respect yourself. I know I'm a person of integrity and I just failed this time...not again.
     
  8. Texas_Red

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    According to this post by you (http://www.sexualforums.com/26095-homewrecker.html#post252186) your response here is way more than just a little hypocritical. Considering the actions you've admitted to in there you've got no business telling the OP he's an asshole.
     
  9. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    thanks for pointing that out. did i say i was an angel? no. did i say i was perfect? no. did i say i've never been an asshole? no.

    those actions of mine were something i did three years ago. i got what was coming to me. i can actually learn from things and move on.

    i will call him whatever i want :)
     
  10. HardRocker

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    I see no point in piling on, so I'll just point out; now you know a new definition for Getting Lucky.:D
     
  11. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    No, I don't think you were a jerk. It's normal to get turned on and want to have sex and you didn't know that would happen that evening. What would possibly make you a jerk is if you now actively seek out and plan encounters where you will be tempted to have sex.

    What I would have done depends on how old I was and how long and serious your relationship with your girlfriend is. But I have also always believed that it was the married or taken person's responsibility to refuse to cheat.
     
  12. Untamed

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    Girls, do you think I was a jerk? I would say some jerky thoughts were going on in your mind. If you really loved your girlfriend well you wouldn't be thinking about kissing someone else. Kudos for not acting on these thoughts though.

    What would you have done had you been this girl? I certainly wouldn't have given you my number, flirted with you, told you I would have liked to make out with you if you were single and I don't think I would've let you slap my ass willingly. When a guy tells me they're taken I instantly INSTANTLY take them off my "Maybe" list... (Not that I have one but you know what I mean.) Treat others how you want to be treated.. I wouldn't some other tramp snacking on my man if I weren't around so why do it to them.

    Now I have a terrible hangover. Thoughts? Drink plenty of water and take some pain relief.
     
    #12 Untamed, Apr 26, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2011
  13. Oliva

    Oliva New Member

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    :) Totally Agree with you
     
  14. Texas_Red

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    So then it's perfectly fine for those not currently with an SO or married to go around playing tempter/temptress?

    Personally I think such people repugnant. The absolute only time I wouldn't hold both parties responsible is if one of them honestly did not know the other was involved. I guess some might be offended by this but I think that people who go after taken folks are bottom-feeders at best, and are certainly no better than someone currently in a relationship that seeks to cheat.
     
  15. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    If we're talking tempter/temptress then yes, I agree that is repugnant. I don't think that someone should try and seduce a person who is already in a relationship.

    When, however, the married or taken party is actively enthusiastic about the seduction, then the blame is, in my opinion, all his or hers. If he or she is taken and wants to stay that way, there should be no need to actively seek action elsewhere. Shouldn't be. But often is...
     
  16. talldarknaverage

    talldarknaverage New Member

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    No..I certainly wont be seeking out those opportunities, nor was I at the time. I agree, it is the taken person's responsability to do whats right, but part of me is upset at the girl as well. It was painfully obvious that I was BOMBED and I think she may have taken some evil pleasure out of toying with me. Nevertheless...I am totally to blame.
     
  17. talldarknaverage

    talldarknaverage New Member

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    I cringe at the thought of what I must have said that I don't remember.
     
  18. Texas_Red

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    *nod*

    I can't say I totally agree with this, but I can see the logic behind it. I still stand firmly behind my thought that unless the other party is 100% unaware that the person they are fooling with is taken/married, then they share blame. It always takes 2 to tango.
     
  19. Flame

    Flame New Member

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    In the situation you describe, then yes, the girl sounds like she was trying to tempt you into something and taking great pleasure from your struggle. That is a very sexy situation and I have enjoyed doing similar things - but not to anyone who was taken or drunk. Some girls do, I think, get a thrill out of 'stealing' a man from another woman but that has never appealed to me. What's the point? If he gives in, you have the pleasure of knowing that he was turned on enough by you to have sex. Big deal. That tiny little ego boost isn't enough for me to compensate for all the harm that sex could cause both him and his girlfriend or wife.

    What is sexy, I find, is to tempt somebody into doing something that he or she wouldn't otherwise do (but not something harmful). Something that he or she really does want to do but is too shy to try. But that is another thread ;)
     
  20. buffett324

    buffett324 New Member

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    Oh now come on. It is perfectly natural to have thoughts about wanting to do sexual things to other people while in a loving committed relationship. Monogamy is NOT our natural instinct, especially as men. But we CHOOSE to limit those thoughts to only thoughts in modern society if we are in a "loving" relationship.

    ...cut the guy some slack. he had a weak moment and he learned from it. It doesn't mean he doesn't love his girlfriend.