Would Like To Get Everyone's Opinion.....Please!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Howie_t, Dec 31, 2007.

  1. Howie_t

    Howie_t New Member

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    I've been thinking about this thing for quite sometime and just thought that I would post the question here.So Here goes:

    If a person get raped(whether it was a male or female,man,woman,boy,or girl)Would that count the same as he or she is no longer a virgin?

    The biggest part of me says that they are not and the other part of me says that they are,but in all reality,I'm going with the biggest part of me saying that they are not.
    Thanks,
    I Greatly Appreciate It,
     
  2. FlirtyChick

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    Well, I was raped when I was already no longer a virgin, so I suppose your question is designed for those who have not been sexually active when the assault occurs. Physically, they are no longer a technical virgin. Mentally, well we won't go there. I would like to think that when the victim recovers sufficiently from the first violent sexual experience that they will have a loving "first time" with a partner who cares enough about them to make it special.
     
  3. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    I would never take away a rape victim's right to think of themselves as a virgin. What happened to them was awful, and if they want to still be a virgin, they are, end of story. It doesn't matter if they're "technically" not one.
     
  4. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    I don't think...

    ...this is a sexual or sexuality question. This is a psychological question.

    A 'virgin' is one who hasn't done something. If you haven't been skydiving and someone throws you out of a plane against your will, you are no longer virgin to skydiving. You will likely have issues with skydiving until such time that you have dealt with what happened and reach a point where you have moved on.

    Thus, to me, some sort of debate over how one views themselves after being raped is not a sexual question. So, go get some counseling.
     
  5. howdy

    howdy New Member

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    Rape Still Virgin? Yes!!!!!!!!

    I'd say that if someone was raped they are still a virgin!!!!!!!!!
     
  6. FlirtyChick

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    :bow:bow:bow:bow:bow:bow:bow:bow:bow:bow:bow:bow:
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    "Virgin" is technically a medical term for a physical condition. In that medical reference, if the hymen has been torn, the virginity no longer exists.

    In modern days and cultures, we have tended to move "virgin" from a medical term to an adulturous term. In that case, she is by all means a 'virgin', as she did not release her feminine flower on her own volition.

    In any event, a rape victim needs to be counseled to deal with all the ramifications of what happened, and to learn to accept her/himself as pure in heart and mind.
     
  8. Bluesy

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    I'm with her :tup
     
  9. Howie_t

    Howie_t New Member

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    So you are saying that after a person have been raped that they are if they has never had sex before?
     
  10. Bluesy

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    No, she didn't say that. She said that while they may no longer fit the medical definition of "virgin", there's no reason why they shouldn't be allowed to think of themselves as and call themselves a virgin. You disagree, then?
     
    #10 Bluesy, Dec 31, 2007
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2007
  11. AnonymousOne

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    It's a state of the mind as it were.

    That is to say, in modern culture to lose one's virginity is a volitional act of sex. Consent is required. Having someone force themselves on you does not fall into that category. So given the working definitions we come to the conclusion that a rape victim can, justifiably, think of themselves as a virgin.

    Now if someone wants to argue over the semantics of the words then it's a different story.
     
  12. Howie_t

    Howie_t New Member

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    Ok,Thanks I understand what she was saying now.Thanks for explaining.
     
  13. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    What...

    ...is the benefit of a person being 'allowed' to think of themselves as a virgin? I'm not going to start a protest march over literal accuracy if a victim of rape declares themselves a virgin and a person is free to think of it anyway they choose but I'm not getting how changing the meaning of words is of help. They've been victimized, raped, had something precious, their innocence, taken from them, criminally.

    It just seems to me that for the individual the first step in moving on with their life is just accept it for what it is. When we start playing with words, do we risk, in an ironic way, minimizing the wrong in an effort to soften the blow after the fact?

    I mean, again, if it helps a person, if they feel better about it, gosh, I guess I'm being a prick over definitions but that person, by being clear over what has been done to them then can also clearly see, with confidence what making love, giving of themselves, really is when that happens without a chance of carrying forward negative connotations of sex.

    Maybe I am way off base here?
     
  14. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    I know 3 women who have been raped, one of them quite violently at gun-point by two men. I can't possibly know how this must feel to the victim (can't even begin to truly imagine the fear and other emotions it must have involved), but I'm sure that living through an unimaginable act of violence like this (and that's what rape is, an act of violence) carries emotional scars that far transcend any technical definition of words. If the person wants to call themselves a virgin still, if it gives them some means to cope better, then forget the technical definition of "virgin" and encourage them to do what it takes to cope with the act of violence they were victim to. This really is a crime that no one should have to fall victim to (and, in my mind, rape is up there with other truly horrible crimes, like child molestation and other predatorial acts).

    BD
     
  15. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    First off...


    ...BD, Happy new year!

    Second, I hear you. Something like 2/3's of women, their first sexual experience is basically abuse or rape, so I do hear you and that's what I am trying to emphasize; the criminal act. I do not want that to somehow fall back into the women as chattel societal mindset we had in days past.
     
  16. Howie_t

    Howie_t New Member

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    OK I get it now,I had gotten confused.So medically they aren't,but mentally they can think that they are? Hope I has it right now.

    Oh forgot,

    Happy NewYear Everyone.
     
  17. FlirtyChick

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    Ok, folks, here are some interesting thoughts I read (and copied) from the Palo Alto Medical Foundation Website (www.pamf.org):

    ""Reclaiming your sexuality - When someone forces or pressures you to have sex, or makes you feel your virginity was "stolen," it doesn't feel like that should be your "first time." Your first time having sex is special, and no one has the right to take that from you. If being raped or pressured into sex has happened to you, you're not alone. There is support, and your real "first time" is still to come. Second-generation virginity allows you to reclaim your virginity in such cases.""

    Today’s Interpretation


    In the last few decades, the term or label "virgin" has become confusing as we try to label persons of both genders -- as well as transgendered persons and all persons of sexual orientations (straight, gay and bisexual).

    The old concept of checking for a woman’s hymen to determine if she is a virgin is being thrown out as more is understood about the hymen. Not all women are born with hymens, some are born without fully intact hymens, and the membrane is so thin that it often breaks with normal physical activity such as running, gymnastics or horseback riding. Today it’s assumed that "virgin" means not having had been penetrated sexually. But what is considered "de-virginizing" penetration is still unclear -- does it mean penetration by a penis, finger, tongue or experience alone? Even more confusing is how society judges a "virgin." Sometimes the name is used condescendingly, sometimes in high regard and sometimes simply just as a fact.



    So there you have it -- the history and confusion of the word "virgin." It still leaves a question as to what "virginity" really means. As society is still confused, it’s up to us to develop our own personal interpretation of the word. Many would like to regain the association of the word "virgin" with power, extending to all persons. However you decide to personalize the term, don’t force your interpretation on others. If your potential partner discuss "virginity" versus "non-virginity" make sure you are clear on your definitions.


    It really boils down to what each individual wants to believe, and unfortunately what society decides is the right attitude and terminology of the era.

    I assert that the most important thing is that the victim not struggle with the definitions of virginity, or even give a care to what society thinks. There exists stigma, fear, humiliation, and other life-altering feelings after an event like this, with or without counseling. Let the rape victim reclaim his/her virginity! It is, after all, termed as "power" in one definition I read.
     
  18. jerry38301

    jerry38301 New Member

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    If you knowingly have sexual activity (even oral) you are no longer a virgin.

    If you are forced into sex you are a virgin, morally speaking.
     
  19. slamd097

    slamd097 New Member

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    that goes into the details thing. Physically I would have to say no. But in her or his heart if they believe they are, then they are, IMO.

    And your post is great sadchick. Someone thought about it...
     
  20. wreckage404

    wreckage404 New Member

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    personally, i'd say rape don't count.