[Ask a Girl] Women, ever considered paying for sex?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Trond, Mar 10, 2012.

  1. Trond

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    Just curious :)
    Has paying for sex ever occurred to you as an option? (never mind if it's illegal where you live, we're primarily talking fantasies here)

    The answer may seem obvious to many, but there are some who think that the minds of men and women are essentially identical by nature (I don't....long story). I paid for sex a couple of times before I married (when it was legal in Norway), but that's an even longer story.

    Before I say anything more in this direction or that, I would like to see what the girls here have to say.
     
  2. AGFUNK

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    I've never thought about paying for sex just because it was easy for me to get laid basically whenever I wanted. I didn't care about the quality and if I did I probably would have thought about paying for it.

    However I have thought about getting paid for sex but that's different..
     
  3. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    Why pay. I'm here and I'll do it for free......... ;)
     
  4. Mittimer

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    I wont pay for something I can get for free. ;)
     
  5. cbrmale

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    Trond,
    I have never believed men's and women's minds are the same. We are a mixture of nature and nurture, and even if born the same, which we aren't, we're raised differently. For example women do seem better at language and this is thought to be a result of our evolutionary past when men went away to hunt, leaving women to communally gather food and raise children, clearly conversing while together. I'm an author and I do write well, but publishing is primarily feminine and my publisher, editor and agent are all women, as are about 80% of authors I know.

    Men used to hunt and we developed better spatial recognition as a result. We are better with puzzles and things like that.

    On top of that we have different hormonal balances. The prime male hormone is testosterone, the sex drive hormone. We do have high sex drives. The prime female hormone is estrogen, which creates a different set of desires, caring and nurturing. Sound familiar?

    Culturally women do seem to regard sex as a component of a relationship where men see sex as akin to a relationship. For a man, without a committment with sex the relationship is not yet established. We also have the 3 day cycle of desire and satisfaction, which I think is where commercial sex comes about. I feel relaxed one day after sex, anxious after two, ready after three. Women typically don't have that type of drive that repeats over and over ad-infinitum.

    But women do desire sex: do be held, caressed, explored, cherished, penetrated. If they couldn't get sex relatively easily, there are many more men searching for their 3 day fix than women searching for a sex fix, then they may consider paying. But they can get it and therefore don't need to buy like we sometimes need to buy.

    Like you I have paid for sex and it was a result of 'needing' it and deciding that paying was an easier alternative than trying my luck at a noisy nightclub until the all hours of the early morning. I did the latter too, of course, but I am a daytime person so 150 and an hour of bliss was a good option at the time. I am still a daytime person, but now married so that's fine.
     
  6. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    You know where to find me......... :eyes :eyes
     
  7. RideNaked2

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    I've never thought of paying for sex...agree with above, why pay for it when I can get it for free.
     
  8. Splendid_Thoughts

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    I am in a similar mindset as yourself...never paid for it as it is available for free...but have toyed with the idea of being paid for it...
     
  9. Mittimer

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    Same. :)
     
  10. strathmore

    strathmore New Member

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    There are a number of 'kept men'. Their women don't mind paying.
     
  11. Northside

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    Well a wise man once told me "no one pays for sex, you pay them to leave." I know this was for women, but the concept is the same.
     
  12. Trond

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    Yeah, I didn't expect you women to be the same as men. Why should you be? Some people seem to believe that our mind is a "clean slate" when we are born, and that all that we do or think is somehow learned. This is not entirely true, as more and more studies show that male and female babies behave differently from the moment they are born, and perhaps even before. Biologically, it makes more sense for a man to have sex with someone he doesn't really know, than it does for a woman Unless she gets something back for it). Interestingly it seems to be the same with most women: paying for sex just doesn't make sense to them. I think this is more nature than nurture actually, but they can be difficult to tease apart.

    Anyway, paying for sex is clearly a common idea to enter a man's head. Many guys wouldn't actually do it, but I think lots of them think about it. Even relatively innocent movies sometimes seem to toy with the idea. Anyway, I happen to know that the thought that "no one pays for sex, you pay them to leave" is sometimes BS, because I paid for sex back in the day, and I did not necessarily want them to leave. It has sometimes struck me that I seem to love women more (or in more ways) than most guys actually. It was just that until I was about 25, I failed utterly at getting anywhere with them. Not very strange when I think about it in hindsight, as I normally wouldn't be able to tell them what I wanted.
     
  13. Meee

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    I think role-playing where money changes hands might be erotic, but I haven't done it.
     
  14. Trond

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    :lol Did you see Raj and "Dr. Slutbunny" in Big Bang Theory? "So, you can't pay your rent?":D
     
  15. cbrmale

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    Trond,
    It's very difficult to separate culture and biology when discussing sex (I did a thesis on sex, so I know). What I discovered way back in my university days when we studied societies not influenced by Christian morals and values, was that most of these societies taught young men and young women how to sexually pleasure each-other and how to handle birth control, and then set them to experiment for a while. After a number of years of this they then formed long-lasting non-monogamous marriages. In these marriages both husband and wife would have sex with other partners according to pre-detirmined cultural standards. A common scenario in Africa was that a wife would go to another village to find a lover. In Tahiti the return of fisherman with a large catch was the catalyst for a feast and a sexual free-for-all, and other feasts also led to extra-marriage sex for a night. After that one night it was monogamy until the next feast. Other societies had different rules and expectations.

    Biologically, it makes sense for women to have multiple partners in order to pass her genes to another generation. If her prime partner is genetically deficient in some way, then there's a risk of none of her offspring making it. But if her offspring have been fathered by multiple men then that risk is obviated. CULTURALLY we have discouraged women not to sexually express themselves in this way so that we know the fatherhood of her offspring, otherwise there could not be property inheritance along the male line. Biologically women are most likely to stray when they're at the most fertile time of the month, and they're most likely to pick a 'manly' man at that time too. As long as their prime partner doesn't know then all's good, 'cause she still has someone to look after her and her offspring.

    But as we know in our society at least, many men look for sexual partners, so those women who are looking for casual sex or to stray from a relationship have a choice and don't have to pay.

    In Australia where prostitution is legal, about 20% of men have paid for sex at least once.
     
  16. Trond

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    Cbrmale - Maybe in some cases having multiple partners can make sense for both sexes, but biologically, it most often makes sense for women to be more picky than men, and to hold back more often. Otherwise they are likely to be stuck with a baby by a father who is inadequate in one way or another, or who simply decides not to stick around. Men more often want sex for it's own sake, while women more often want something for it. Sometimes it can make sense to look for a partner who is "better" than the current one, but this can often be dangerous, particularly for women. People are often jealous, and this frequently leads to violence and murder. This is true for many cultures: Asian, Native American, many Africans etc etc, in fact it sometimes happens even in cultures that deem such violence unacceptable.

    Biologically, it makes much more sense for males to have multiple partners, and this also what we see: polygyny is more common than polyandry. Most other mammals actually behave in similar ways: males with many females are common, females with many males more rare. Men also buy sex far more often (this is even seen in chimps; males "buying" sex with food). For women, even if they lack sex, most seem to feel that buying sex would be counter-productive and not the solution they want (I wanted to see if there is any different here among relatively horny people).

    For prostitutes, it can still make sense to sleep with lots of men; they get immediate material gains, jealousy is usually out of the equation, and some can actually have quite luxurious lives. Some actually end up picking one of the guys as a steady partner. A friend of my mother has a sister who was a high-class call-girl. She's now married to one of her previous clients. Not sure how common it is, but it happens.
     
  17. hoonos

    hoonos New Member

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    Now that I'm no longer married, I view matrimony as being the same as "paying for it".
    The only difference is that society approves of marriage whereas it doesn't ,(here, at least) generally give it's approval to prostitution.
    Strangely, the only money I have invested in companionship is my willingness to foot the bill for the women I now find myself dating.
    As far as women feeling the need to bare other men's children rather than their husbands, this is one of the reasons our country is going down the toilet because of the expense to the taxpayers to support the idiotic welfare programs that permit this behavior.
     
  18. Trond

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    While I don't want to get too involved in American politics, I will say that I don't quite buy that last part. I have lived in/been to several countries with more welfare AND higher standards of living (less poverty etc) than America. One does not exclude the other.
     
  19. JonJo

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    I completely agree with cbrmale regarding the practices of so called ‘primitive societies’ in their sexual training of the ‘uninitiated’ and from my own experience the advantages it can have.
    As a completely inexperienced 17 year old teenager, with no knowledge of sex what-so-ever (no sex education in schools in those days) after my first attempt at sex I was completely traumatised by what I had put my equally inexperienced partner through (she was a virgin) due to my inexperience and my considerable size. I know that it had an equally traumatising effect on her because when ‘it’ was, thankfully, very quickly over, neither of us could understand what all the fuss about sex was about.
    Luckily about two weeks later a 38 year old woman (the mother of my best mate) who was from such a culture, ‘seduced’ me and over the following months, gradually and understandingly taught me about sex and all that having good, mutually enjoyable sex involved.
    My mate knew what was going on and it transpired that he was getting the same kind of ‘training’, with his mother’s knowledge, from a mature woman in their community.
    I honestly think that she had no ulterior motives and did it because she thought that I needed to know. I do know that for a long time she didn’t get any sexual pleasure from it herself. My lessons, at each step of the way, stopped when she started to. I started to ‘graduated’ when one night she ‘allowed’ me to give her orgasms manually, orally and in the three most common penetration positions. I finally ‘graduated’ after three more similar nights. After that she would no longer see me in that way (despite how much I wanted to).
    I have thanked that woman ever since, despite how much more experience I have got since and am sure that my subsequent partners have had cause to.
    There would be a lot less sexual unhappiness, for both sexes, if such ‘training’ was given, under the right circumstances and conditions, to the ‘ignorant’.
    Biologically women are most likely to stray when they're at the most fertile time of the month, and they're most likely to pick a 'manly' man at that time too. As long as their prime partner doesn't know then all's good, 'cause she still has someone to look after her and her offspring.
    I can also confirm the truth of this. Most women married or otherwise have that time when the ‘urge’ is most strong, with some more strongly than others. If anything the longer married ones, who have (unfortunately due to their husband’s inattention) got into the rut of having routing, unexciting sex, are the most ‘easy’.
    Whilst I am not bragging that I’m ‘manly’ I had a married partner (16 years) – I’d know her as a family friend for seven years without anything sexual between us and she’d been the best friend of my wife, who I’d been separated from for three months - who one day completely out of the blue she asked me straight out if I wanted ‘no string’ sex “because it was that time of the month when she really needed it, her husband couldn’t give her what she needed and she was desperate, as she knew I must be after 3 months without having any and **** had said I could ‘perform’ (girls talking). For three days we went at it like rabbits, without using any form of protection – she seemed to need and enjoy the act of me cumming in her as much as she needed and enjoyed the sex - and then she cooled off. The same thing happened at the same time of the month for several months, until I knew when I just had to turn up to have ‘no strings fucking’ – other times she was a (supposedly) happily married woman.
    I have to admit that I wasn’t too worried about the lack of protection as it was what she wanted and therefore her responsibility and also because I’ve always, maybe biologically and instinctively on my part, enjoyed ‘letting go’ knowing that there was maybe a chance I was passing my genes on.
     
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  20. hoonos

    hoonos New Member

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    Interesting. Please enlighten me as to just where it is that one's standard of living exceeds that of the USA and yet it's government encourages women to have as many children as they wish by as many different men as they wish and not expect the fathers of those children to pay for raising them?At the same time, the "system" allows irresponsible men to knock up as many as 26 different women and you can bet your ass that they are not supporting even one of them.:yell