Women, do you work a paid job?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by sensless, Oct 25, 2017.

  1. sensless

    sensless Well-Known Member

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    Do you work a paid job?

    Do you contribute to the costs of your household?

    What about unpaid work in your house, like taking care of children and cleaning, cooking, etc? Do you do any of it?

    I ask, because a man commented on another thread that *all* men end up paying their wives for sex.

    I'm trying to understand why some men think like that.

    Are you all, SF women, living like queens, doing nothing, but enjoying yourselves, while your men do all the work in the house, take care of the kids, and pay the bills?

    If you observe around you, do you see most women doing that?

    Men, are you the only breadwinner in your family? Are you also doing all the chores, too? Is your wife living a permanent vacation, paid by you?

    Worldbank says women make about 46-47% of the workforce in the USA (2016). So, why would an American man think all married men are paying their wives for sex?

    More importantly, why is there so many people thinking only paid jobs are deserving of respect? What about the hours taking care of kids and home?

    Women and men who stay at home, do you feel your work is respected, just as if it was a paid job? Do you feel your partner who pays the bills thinks he's doing you a favor (because he doesn't see your part in keeping the household going as something equally important)?
     
  2. BeBop

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    I'm the sole breadwinner - but that's because there's only me, so I can't count towards the counter.

    However!

    Growing up, my mother worked a full-time job and contributed to work/chores around the house alongside my father. Once we all got old enough, so did my sisters and me. When I was living with my ex, she and I both split things more or less evenly on the homefront and she was more of the financial breadwinner than I was.

    I have never - never - heard of the situation you've outlined. This, "I work my ass off and she sits at home eating bonbons" setup is, from all my anecdotal knowledge and firsthand experience, a total fiction. I've known some women (and men, for that matter) to take time off work after the birth of a child or an equivalent major life event, but it hasn't been a permanent change. The "homemakers" I know all do more than their share to contribute: while the other is at work, they take care of the entire home front.

    Honestly, in my opinion, when I see people claiming to do all the work or that they're in some way "paying" for something in their relationship, I have to wonder. I always have a Biblical verse (hey, it's part of my upbringing, what can I say?) come into my mind.
    To quote
    Mattiyahu 7:5, "Thou hypocrite! First, remove the beam from thine own eye; then thou shall see clearly, so that thou can remove the splinter from thine brother’s eye!"
     
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  3. SuperDilf

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    My wife went back to college late and now she makes more then me, took me a few years to deal with it, old stereotypes and such. But we work as a team in our house and everything is just fine.
     
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  4. JackieTreehorn

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    I love these threads borne out of an off-hand remark made on a different thread. I believe "paying for it" in marriage is just a humorous saying leveraged off antiquated perceptions of gender roles that date back to the days of Leave It To Beaver, but it's a good topic.

    My wife has always worked at least part-time, even when our kids were small. We were both fortunate to be able to work from home during those years, and I think that was good for the kids. Now that they're grown, she's working full time and although she makes slightly less than I do, she's undoubtedly more valuable to the company than I am.
     
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  5. DayPlay3

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    When I first saw this thread I thought, "what could possibly go wrong".
    :D

    To shadow @JackieTreehorn thoughtfull responce.

    We choose not to reproduce. Both of us have always worked. When we were young at times two jobs. Even now she is a part time Bikruam yoga instructor. I've done a few side projects too.

    Through her hard work, she's now making more than I am. I'm proud of her and supportive.


    We both do the tasks it takes to have nice home. I trend to do more outside work. I'm not too be trusted with laundy, then again, no question I am the better cook.;)

    BTW - I always thought Ward was a prick:p





     
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  6. MrRam65

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  7. HeartsDesire

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    I stay home and my SO works. He pays all the bills and does the outside work. I do the inside work. I'm trying to get disability is why I don't work. He doesn't complain if I don't get everything done that needs it. He knows I can only do so much.
     
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  8. sensless

    sensless Well-Known Member

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    Perhaps such comments are just for a laugh, but when the laugh is always at the expense of one of the genders/minorities/etc, it's kind of not so funny after it's been repeated a few times. I do think that, now and then, someone should kind of point out that what's being said is disrespectful, if that's the case.
     
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  9. Dog_E_Ryder

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    I work and run the family business, and my wife works a 3 day a week job for our health insurance which is a huge contribution to our income. We both worked our entire lifes. I cook she washes clothes far as house chores go. We both share the remainder of house duties. yard work is contracted out. Homey hates doing grass so does wife. lol
     
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  10. daletom

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    In a reversal of gender stereotypes, my wife usually mows the lawn. She says that she enjoys it, and I believe her. Many times she pushes the mower at a pace that makes it an aerobic exercise.

    When the kids were young she sometimes mowed irregular patterns, making "roads" that the kids rode their big-wheel bikes on, following behind her. (Yes, I spoke with both her and the kids about safety concerns on more than one occasion. Generally they kept a reasonable separation between the kids and the mower.)

    One problem is that I have to get the mower running for her. As she says, "It takes a big jerk to get the mower started."
     
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  11. Maude

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    Although I make less, I don't feel under-compensated for the job I do. JT has credentials which I don't. I always thought I'd take time off of work completely when the kids were young but it just worked out to keep freelancing even right after each of their births.
    A good division of household tasks has evolved through the years, and sometimes we both just say 'screw the chores' and lay out on the deck in the sun for the afternoon. Thankfully, having a pristine house is not high on his list of 'must haves'