Wishy-Washy

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Beornmod, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. Beornmod

    Beornmod New Member

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    Hi. I had a friend tell me yesterday that she thinks I'm wishy-washy. She objects to the fact that I smoked a joint with her, but wouldn't tell my SO.

    Now I love my SO, but she is very conservative about some things. I felt a twinge of guilt at the thread title, "Does your SO know you post here." No, she wouldn't be into it, she'd be quite upset.

    The thing is we've been together three years, and we've changed. I love her and have no desire to leave her, but I'm not the same person I was when we started dating.

    Now my natural inclination is what she doesn't know won't hurt her. If she asked me whether I'd smoked, I'd tell her. If she asked me about this forum, I'd tell her. I'd also keep right on doing what I think is fine. But I feel no need to have those angry discussions. Is that wishy-washy? Do you have tell-all relationships with your SO's? If not, have you had any repercussions?
     
  2. dressd2dpress

    dressd2dpress New Member

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    Yes, I have an honest relationship with my SO. In these situations some arguing is to be expected, but the key word in our relationship is compromise. I give a little slack and she gives a little and we both end up happy with the results.
     
  3. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    My experience is that the longer a couple is together, the more open things become. You've only been together three years, which isn't a long time. In several years time she'll understand your personality better and be more accepting of the things you do that are contrary to the things she would do. Or at least that's my experience.

    So in answer to your question, even though my wife wouldn't smoke a joint in a million years, I wouldn't hesitate to tell her if I did, because I know that she knows that I'm the sort of man who'd do that sort of hting.
     
  4. Dreama

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    Well, I tell hubby everything, because it'd be crazy if I didn't. He lives with me, he'd find out eventually. If he doesn't like something I do, I'll compromise on it...Not give it up altogether, but definitely work something out. At the end of the day, it's your life. You aren't shooting heroine, so it really isn't that bad. Perhaps you could work something out if your SO knew.
     
  5. Lefty'sLefty

    Lefty'sLefty New Member

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    It's up to you,

    who cares if someone thinks you're wishy washy. As far as the communication between you and your's goes my question would be, where do you draw the line? Little wacky tobbacy once in a while, little SF, little porn. None of these things are really very serious. On the other hand, I'd be pretty upset if I found out my wife was smoking weed, especially if I found out because of a court appearance. Most things we do in life have some consequence, good or bad.

    My guess is that if your SO found out about the things you hide from her, she WOULD feel hurt and betrayed. I would suggest that you weigh the consequences and decide if you want her to be hurt and betrayed, or just mad that you did whatever you did. I dont hide things from my wife, she's fully aware that often I am a complete moron.