At times...she must. The sidewalk filled with the lunch crowd from the offices, she's comfortable, as she's one of them. Impeccably groomed, her tight pencil skirt and crisp white blouse buttoned to the neck...she almost looks 'librarian' if a passing glance told the story. Half glasses, mostly for show mind you...even a pencil still behind her ear! All morning she's known. It seeps in slowly most times..other times it overwhelms. Today she'll pass by the usual cuisine of choice..the host will wonder where she's gone. Two blocks to the south today where the neighborhood changes...she knows the changes to expect, has cleared her schedule. The blush colors her, as it always does, breath elevating while she walks. It excites the young wife when she's alone at times when she must. Sunglasses mask her wide eyes..eyes begining to glaze. A tightness constricts her throat, the gulp not helping. Ahead, a worn sign dangles from it's moorings...her destination. Propping her glasses upon her forehead, she enters. The dark interior draws her.. the smell of stale beer, the rough and tumble manner, the low music and...the stares! It's the stares she craves..bold and deliberate stares..stares from the men within, some with wonder, others with a knowing. "What'll it be missy" the gruff question while swiping his bartowel to clear an unseen mess. "SanPellegrino with a lemon, please" "What? Listen missy, this is a gin joint and we don't have whatever you jus said..so,I'll ask ya again, whatcha havin?" She had to test..it's required. "Gin, three fingers, neat" her look direct, with purpose. "Ya sure?" his eyes boring into her soul, wondering, as he slowly pours and slides the glass rudely, challenging her. Leaving the glass upon the bartop, she walks to the door. The bright sunshine washes over her as she stands. A slight sway to the soft jazz while looking out, arms high against the jambs. "I'll stay," her whisper to no one in particular "for awhile." Without even looking she feels the eyes, all of them, watching..some still wondering. She knows what they wonder..she's done this before. Occasionally she's been made to stay. She hopes this is one of those times...when she's made to stay. He'll want to know.