Will I ever be ready ???????

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by awakened, Sep 9, 2010.

  1. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    My husband and I have been talking about a threesome for only about a week or so. I want a MMF so badly and maybe have someone lined up to talk to, but I yet have begun to come close to accepting FMF. I do love him so freakn much but to see him even kissing another woman makes me feel a streak of anger. He has told me how much he loves all aspecs of women and he looks and thinks of them all the time but the thought always ends with me pleasing him. We will not go forward until I get past that strong feelings. But how do I do it??????? ( get past the feelings)
     
  2. Mittimer

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    You have to look at it this way. If you can't accept a FMF and see your husband kiss another woman, how is he going to feel WATCHING you fuck another guy?

    It goes both way.
     
  3. Barbwire

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    It's simple hon, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. Sometimes you just can't give your mate 100% of what they want. Both of you need to be at peace with that. Don't beat yourself up over it. I'm sure there are lots of things that you are doing to/for/with him that make your sex lives very satisfying, just be happy with that.

    Also, you said you just woke up, sexually speaking, a couple of weeks ago and that's WONDERFUL! Just don't rush, rush, rush, to do everything all at once, you sexy thing. :)
     
  4. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    From the way he spoke it excites him more than bothers him. But your thought has crossed my mind but he went as far as to ask me today whether I wanted him to talk to so and so about hooking up. I told him my reservations and he said for us to see how it goes and take it from there. Now that can mean more than one thing and it is killing me to know what his meaning is. He is in meeting now so I cant ask him
    ]
     
  5. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    I think I will go for a long bikeride and think things through for a bit, dont want to be home alone right now.
     
  6. FlirtyChick

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    I agree with CL....don't rush, talk through it, and unless you are BOTH willing to concede to each others fantasies coming to life DON'T DO ANYTHING. I was married for 12 years, and I am jaded because I fell into a trap to make my spouse happy. I went first...it went badly, now I am divorced. Make SURE that he can handle what you want and YOU can handle what he wants. If not, be ready for the consequences.

    If I had it to do over, I would have said "HELL no" to everything, and just kept it all between the two of us. My experience is not your indicator, but you better make damned sure you both can handle it. Sex is an intimate and special thing. Once you invite outsiders it you have to know how to deal with the fact that it is a shared sport. I suggest STRONGLY that you contact Suite91 on this forum for fantastic advice. Good luck, and keep talking in this forum.....I wish I had been honest.
     
  7. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    Sharing goes both ways. Trading a FFM 3way for a MMF 3way is a good trade. You love and trust your husband, why does it bother you if he's with another woman so much (with your permission of course?) How does he feel about sharing you with another man?

    Trust me, if you have a FFM with him he'll be more into the MMF one. Even if he's kissing, fucking, touching... the other girl, he's still thinking about you. The extra girl is just the cherry on top, it's still you and him.
     
  8. hard4it

    hard4it New Member

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    does your husband have a problem with doing a mmf threesome? Would he then be expecting a mff?
     
  9. pussydog

    pussydog New Member

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    u have to think very well before doing it,u both have to talk,ask him how is going to feel if some guy is fucking u and u tell him how u feel too.
     
  10. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    He is interested in mff but as previously mentioned, I do have the right to just tell him I would rather keep another women a fantasy. I have been thinking about the subject quite a bit today and I really dont think I have a desire to actually have sex with another women like I had previously thought. I did some visual research and it just did not do it for me like i thought it would. Still thinking, I have to be careful
     
  11. pussydog

    pussydog New Member

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    u ve to be careful,i belive ur sex life with him will be fine,so there is no need for u to do what will make u feel bad after all.just take care.
     
  12. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Hi Awakened,

    This is something I read that is common for women, that they see another woman as a threat in a MFF. There is no easy solution to this other than trying to build up the relationship with the other woman where you get comfortable with her and then slowly progress to have threesome.
     
  13. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    We talked about it again last night and we will not be seeking anyone out. If one day something clicks between myself and another women at a good time then we will just see where it leeds us. We dont get out much, but when we do it is never with the same people, so it may be awhile.
     
  14. KinKyAznCouple

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    What everyone said is true to their own opinion and experience. We have had quite a few threesomes and are still having them when we get lucky. The first time was the hardest "FMF" it was hard for me to get over the fact that he has touching, licking, fucking another girl and her doing everything that I would do to him. After all was said and done I'll be honest, I cried and told him what I was feeling and he didn't say much all he told me was that he loved me and wouldn't leave me. He said how could I ever leave a girl who gave me what most guys dream of. To be honest I felt good hearing that.

    I think that trust is also a big issue. We trust each other completely and I know that he would never do anything to hurt me. Although we have mainly had FMF threesomes I have brought up the issue of MFM threesome. I was expecting him to say WTF are you crazy! But no he said well I guess we can try as long as he chooses who. So far we have had only 1 MFM (with his friend that was getting married) and it was only oral, me blowing both of them nothing more. It was pretty exciting and it got me excited. After all was done we talked about it, I asked what he thought and was surprised that he was pretty excited in doing it and he thought it was pretty hot.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that as long as you two can love and trust each other completely with out doubt you should be able to have fun. This is just my opinion for myself and for you to read. Take it how you want to and choose what you want to accept or ignore.

    S
     
  15. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    KKAC, I ignore nothing. I see that it is not an across the board feeling. If I was crying and he just told me that he loved me and he would never leave me, that in itself would not do a damn bit of comforting. I would have in my mind him saying in his head , Fuck, that chick is fuckn hot. I would stick my cock in her all day long. Her pussy is fantastic. I was told by a very good informant that ALL men are pigs, even the ones who deeply love you.
    Another thought keeps nagging me, why the fuck would he need another pussy and pair of tits, cant we do something without the extra person that would reach the same level. The more I have thougt about this the more unappealing two men sound.
    I freaked out the other day and started writing what was in my head. htree pages later I felt better. If anyone likes to psychoanalyze , I may post a few sentences.
    Thank you all for your input. I am just a normal mom that has been married for 17 yrs with minimal sexual exp in the married yrs, so I dont feel that I am odd in feeling this way.
     
  16. Hot Wheels

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    What load of complete bullshit!......:eyes
    With so-called "informants" like this.....really, is it any wonder you are so torn with indecision over this issue.....
    You have agonised about this long enough, and obviously have some insecurity issues within your own relationship, let alone starting something with others..... if you can't deal with these, then let it be and just resign yourself to having fantasies.....

    But don't put ALL men in the same basket! :tsktsk
     
  17. Meee

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    I know this is a few days old, but it sounds like you were talking to him by phone, email, or text. My opinion is this subject is too important to talk about that way. When you need to talk to him about this, sit down with him when both of you have time to talk and listen.
     
  18. Mittimer

    Gold Member

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    Did that "very good" informant happen to be a bitter cynical woman who's been cheated on by every man she's ever had the opportunity to sleep with? Or was it a guy friend who was just trying to make you feel better?

    No, not all men are pigs.
    End of story.
     
  19. toyger

    toyger New Member

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    I think you should take your time making the choice that is right for you. I agree with pussydog. Best of luck :)
     
  20. Barbwire

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    Awakened, I told you this before, but I'll tell ya again, S-L-O-W down!

    You are trying to do too much, too soon. Trust me, you have to ease into the sexual dynamo lifestyle at your own speed.To stay in your comfort zone, you need time to wrap your mind around all the information you are getting online and starting to open up to new sexual fantasies and realities.

    BTW, congratulations on staying together long enough to get to this wonderful new era of your marriage. :tup

    I'm sure your husband is eager to get to know his new, sexually curious wife. I bet he's like a 10 year old boy with a free all day pass and your body is the amusement park.

    I have to get back to packing for my camping trip. I will log in upon returning home and hope to find lurid and exciting tales of your sexploits. I always say, what is the point to having sex if you can't tell a few thousand of your closest friends friends juicy details about it?

    If you are shy about writing it out,think about it this way, if you have sex with your hubby how many people get turned on? For the sake of arguement, I will say the number is 2.

    So, would you rather turn on just one other person or would ya rather turn on a whole community of horny folk here on SF?


    :eek:rgy
    ^ Me
     
    #20 Barbwire, Sep 14, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2010