Wife's Shifting Boundaries

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Logger, Mar 17, 2004.

  1. Logger

    Gold Member

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    My wife has different levels of tolerance for various approaches and activities at various points in time.

    Generally, as it gets later at night, my wife has fewer activities that she objects too. But my wife gets more sleepy as the night goes on, and she is less of a willing participant.

    Sometimes I think that since my wife objected to a particular approach earlier in the evening, that I should refrain from that particular approach for at least the rest of the evening, if not for several days.

    Last night I had made a few aproaches, and did not get enthusiatic receptivity, and I fell asleep assuming my appraches were outide my wife's boundaries. When my wife woke up this morning, and got out of bed, she looked at me, as if to say, "Why didnt you follow through last night?"

    I am reading BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE by Cloud and Townsend, and they talk about the importance of respecting boundaries in marriage. I have not gotten to the point that they talk about shifting boundaries from day to night, and later at night. :bow
     
  2. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    To begin with ignore the pop psychology dribble. In my honest opinion a psychologist / psychiatrist who writes for the masses is either looking to make money off of unsubstantiated theory that cannot be supported by scientific evidence or is someone cannot get their theory accepted by the psychological community. In any respects forget everything you have read in the book.

    Based on you posting there appears to be several reasons as to why your wife rejected your approach. To begin with she may have been exhausted from work. Maybe helping a bit more after you get home could have helped with your advances. Another explaination is that she was feeling stressed. Taking time to just talk might have made the difference. Finally reformulate your approach. Women like to be pursued and romanced. Trying to build up to the evening my pay dividens for you instead of reading a bunch of dribble.
     
  3. Logger

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    Dear Yorkie Smurf,

    Your suggestion of working on being more romantic may produce better results.

    Certainly being more inviting in converation, listening is a working formula. Helping with small things can make a big difference.