Wife won't share fantasies

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Dodge72, Feb 12, 2016.

  1. Dodge72

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    So while my wife and I are in the act, from time to time she wants me to tell her what I fantasize about. Now, I don't mind telling her all of the dirty thoughts running through my head because she gets turned on by it all and the sex is really great. BUT, whenever I ask her, or even broach the topic when we're not having sex, she refuses to share. What's the deal?
     
  2. afunk13

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    Try asking during sex while she is turned on or even afterwards. You might get a better response then.
     
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  3. backcheck64

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    Tell her a few very twisted "fantasies" that involve...well killing her. When she's so repulsed by you fucking her carcass as you cover yourself in her blood or internal organs, say.....well, let's hear one of yours. Then tell her you were kidding...or not.
     
  4. CLE32793

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    Maybe she just likes to listen and not talk about it? Just ask her what's up.
     
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  5. Sweetlysad

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    Maybe she's just shy or embarrassed?
    Not everyone is open or comfortable talking about sex.
    It might take some time to get her to open up.
     
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  6. HalfNaked

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    Get her hammered. Or do what backcheck64 suggested.
     
  7. backcheck64

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    Terror works better than alcohol LOL
     
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  8. Alwayslearningsex

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    Instead of asking what she fantasizes about, how about asking why she won't tell you anything?
     
  9. lorenz

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    She is not going to open up like that over a packet of dorritos while watching the football.

    Send her a message during the day, from work or whatever. Make it flirty. Tell her what you are thinking about doing with her later. If she's receptive, get into a bit of detail, say you are horny, say you can barely contain it, that your cock is aching, that you can't think of anything else but what you have planned for her. Ask her what she wants you to do to her, where she wants it, in what position. Then, when you get together that evening, and you put your hands on her hips, as you feel the shape of her ass, as you remove her bra, don't ask her, TELL her that you WANT to know what her fantasies are, that you often try to imagine what they might be, and that you want to be let in. Tell her to close her eyes and imagine it's another place, another time, another person. Then tell her where you are in your mind, what you are doing, who you are with, as you press your chest against her breasts, your lips on her neck, your cock against her hips. With each piece of clothing that comes off, focus on touching her, on imagining how it feels to be touched in the way you are touching her, ask her where she wants to be touched next. And as you lower yourself onto her, and feel the wetness between her legs, and tease her with your fingers, and ask her to picture her deepest fantasies... if you can make her feel safe enough to get to that place, and make her want you inside her above anything else, then she just might open up to you.
     
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  10. Dodge72

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    Have tried that... she just deflects the attention away
     
  11. Dodge72

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    Yeah, not sure if that's the route to go, but thanks anyway.
     
  12. Dodge72

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    Where's the "unlike" button for this comment?
     
  13. HotForHoney

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    Maybe you should try a little less personal topics at different times. During sex might not be good for her.
     
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  14. Powerhouse

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    I know man, my wife is the same way.
    Look up Chris Rock's skit about "Phone Sex" with his wife...that's kinda my experience.
    I hope yours isn't that bad...
     
  15. Hypersexual11

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    Her fantasies may not be something you would be comfortable hearing. My wife had a fantasy of being on a bed surrounded by guys jerking off on her. She wouldn't tell me this until late in our relationship due to her not knowing how I might react. Your wife may have seen some negative behavior from you in the area of her fantasy.
    What if her fantasy is to see you gang raped? Woman's fantasies rarely are in tune with the guy's. Like, few would fantasize about having sex with a gf while you watch. Most guy's fantasies are pretty tame compared to the woman's.
     
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  16. Dodge72

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    I understand that her fantasies and mine might not be in tune with each other, but I just don't see the big deal in sharing. If she does have one of those types that you mentioned, then big deal. I don't feel that fantasies are something to be ashamed about. Nine times out of ten we rarely act on them... they're just something that we find arousing.
     
  17. Barent

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    Maybe she just does not have any fantasies, sexual ones that is. I have known a number of women who said that they really didn't have any, other than thinking about regular sex with their lover or spouse. Since this sounds boring to a lot of guys, they sometimes dodge the question or refuse to answer.
     
  18. Alwayslearningsex

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    Not having a fantasy is probably one reason, I had my last FWB who only started having them a few months into being together.
     
  19. SexyFantasyGirl

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    IMO there is nothing wrong in that,she has the right to keep things to herself and not share her thoughts with anyone.
    sometime fantasies can be a little wild and crazy,it don't even mean that she really want's them to happen in real life.
    who knows maybe she thinks they might hurt your feelings if she told you
     
  20. lbushwalker

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    The brain is the biggest sex organ and many are reluctant to openly display their sex organs!
    Not everyone is extrovert ;)