wife cheated

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by underworld9, May 22, 2007.

  1. underworld9

    underworld9 New Member

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    My marriage sex has improved, sorry to say because my wife cheated from an online to real life.Her libido has shot up and she has I think joined a forum, hopefully not this one. Problem is she saves most of the effort for online and i get a small amount only!!!Anyone else lose out to online, and then join up themselves? What is sex like after cheating?
     
  2. msduncan

    msduncan Active Member

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    Whoa...

    There are some giant holes in this story. Your wife cheated by meeting an online lover in real life? And you are worried about the sex? What about the affair, her ongoing online relationship, and where is the status of the relationship now?
     
  3. LaVitaDolce

    LaVitaDolce New Member

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    I agree with Msduncan.. You shouldn't be worried about the sex. What about the relationship??
     
  4. MadMan3000

    MadMan3000 New Member

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    Wow that sucks. I'm sorry to hear that.
     
  5. underworld9

    underworld9 New Member

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    OK I will recount my whole sad story, I went away to the states and came back to find out an affair. We decided to stay together for the kids sake and because we thought we needed another chance.Now she gets on the net because it makes her feel sexy, doesnt have online affairs.Rebuilding is very hard with the complex of emotions left by her affair.The facade of the family stays the same but it is very different inside.
     
  6. FormerFreak

    FormerFreak New Member

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    Sir, that's not nearly enough of the story. What most people would be experiencing right now is a staggering sense of personal tragedy, but hey! Who am I to say? If you're already past that, and you're seriously okay with it, and you're just wondering how to get some from your philandering wife, well... you can do a "If you like Pina Coladas..." See if talking online between the two of you turns one another on. Course, it has to be controlled. Can't have a guessing game of "which person am I on this site?" Might set yourself up for another fiasco!

    If she "needs" the net to feel sexy, it might be time for the two of you to get into sexperimenting. With eachother, not others. Have some sexy-time--heck, if she's feeling "unsexy" then there's definitely room for improvement! You guys have to have a talk:

    "Let's talk about sex, ba-by! Let's talk about you and me! Let's talk about all the good things, and the bad things, that may be! Let's talk about SEX!"
     
  7. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear Underworld 9,

    Can you improve your foreplay?

    Sounds like you stil have feelings of resentment. It sounds like you are unhappy with your wife spending time on line with other guys. Have you asked her to develop alternatives for activities with you, that will make her feel sexy?

    If you have feelings of resentment, you wil not be as loving as you coluld be.

    Are you aware of your needs?

    CHAIRS
    Conquest (Hobbies and work)
    Hierarchy (Who is more imoprtant)
    Authority (Where you desire control)
    Intuition (Respect foryour ideas and evaluations)
    Relationship ( What yhou expect from her)
    Sexuality (Understanding and Cooperation)


    Are you looking for ways to better fuflill your wife's needs?

    COUPLE from Love and Respect
    Closeness
    Openness
    Understanding
    Peacemaking
    Loyalty
    Esteem

    If your wife is being disrespectful to you, your kids will sense that, and your leasdership with your children will be undercut more than if you divorced. What aspects of respect could your wife increase for you?


    .
     
  8. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    underworld9

    Forgive me for saying this, but I get the feeling that there is a BIG load of emotional stuff that hasn't yet exploded.

    Stuff that needs to reveal itself from both sides.

    It almost appears that you have accepted her cheating as par for the course and without expressing any powerful feelings that you might have about it.

    It also consequentially appears to be the case that you wife knows that she has been completely let off the hook.

    If I was in your predicament, there wouldn't be any further sex until the issues of the affair were discussed fully and resolved hopefully.
     
  9. Ass Focka

    Ass Focka New Member

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    You should go out and cheat on her. Twice.
     
  10. LaVitaDolce

    LaVitaDolce New Member

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    If it was me I wouldn't stoop down to her level.
     
  11. heelfetish

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    I agree wholeheartedly.
     
  12. angelbaby

    angelbaby New Member

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    If it were just sex I wouldn't worry,but I would if it turned to a relationship,because you never know what can happen to your marriage then.
     
  13. Ass Focka

    Ass Focka New Member

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    What's the difference? He's gonna sleep with someone else if he leaves her and she'll probably keep on cheating if he doesnt
    lol
     
  14. LaVitaDolce

    LaVitaDolce New Member

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    First of all, it's my personal opinion. And I wouldn't stoop down to that level because I am more mature then that. I would of left her and found someone that wants to be with me only. Why make matters worse? Why not just get out of that situation and be happy?