wife and her ex husband

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by onlyfun, Nov 7, 2011.

  1. onlyfun

    onlyfun New Member

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    I would aprecciate any opinions please from male or female......My wife and I were going through a bad time last year and nearly split up....First of all I was the idiot as for a while I was going on porn sites and chatting to other women tho only chatting intimately never anything else....Anyway I told my about it and she went up the wall......Right cutting the long story short I had known for a while she still had feeling for her ex husband whom used to have affairs with other woman and thats the reason why they split up....Anyway I had noticed my wife had made contact with his family and tho this was totally wrong with me I went onto her email and she sent him a message to say its your birthday and is there anything you want from me, be a naughty boy and say whatever,,,,,Anyway I told her about her ex and she said she had no feelings for him. I managed to get it out of her and she said she did still have feelings....Anyway I said right we have been together for 17 years I wanted her to get it out of her system, so I instigated her seeing him which she had done 3-4 times.....As we were going tho a bad time anyway it was make or break for us, anyway I kept saying to her is it him or me, which she was not sure....Anyway because i didnt get an answer from her it was killing me not knowing if she wanted him or me....So I sent him a txt saying my wife still loves me and she didnt know whom she wanted, anyway he aparently ditched my wife and she came back to me........The question i want to know, do you think she came back and has got me as 2nd choice because her ex ditched her or do you think she didnt want to lose him or me, or do you think she is generally wanting me and now she has got it out of her system we can move on........apreciate your truthful comment from either side......Ian
     
  2. hornyscot

    hornyscot New Member

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    thats all a bit complicated, however, in my own experience i am seperated from my wife of 38years and i am with a new partner who i love very deeply, i have no feelings for my wife but i do care about her and wouldnt want anything bad for her only that she can move on and perhaps find a new love of her own.I wouldnt go back to her nor would i want to see her in any other capacity than friends and even at that not very often. i certainly wouldnt be asking about birthdays or anything along those lines, i can only say i hope your wife has that out of her system, but to be honest, i very much doubt it.
     
  3. Moon

    Moon New Member

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    Oh grief Ian, what a tangle you're in xx. Only your wife can answer the question you're posing, but it strikes me you're asking the wrong question, if she wanted you as her be all and end all she wouldn't have been thinking of him or any other bloke, look at your relationship with her, not hers and her ex's. Once again it boils down to communication, sit down and talk with her, its the only way, good luck xx

    Hornyscot, thank you darling, I love you so very much too xx.
     
  4. HUMBLELOVE

    HUMBLELOVE Member

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    Dude that sucks.
    I couldn't handle that situation.
    She has a lot of balls... flipping on you when she was sneaking behind your back looking for extracurricular activities.
    I wont answer your post because you already know the answer.
     
  5. McGumby

    McGumby New Member

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    Ask you're wife. There is no way anyone here could answer as to how she feels. Either way it's a messed up situation, but the only way to make things better is talking honestly with each other. Be prepared for answer you don't want to hear if you insist on honestly though. Knowing her true feelings, though it may hurt right now, is better than living a lie.
     
  6. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

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    Onlyfun; sounds like you are not at this juncture.
    I take a different view to most on this because you say that after 17 years living or married to this woman you are both going through a rocky patch.
    Could it be that the lady in question is feeling vulnerable and contact with her ex to see if he is still keen on her is just a way to determine if she is still attractive to someone or just simply turning to her past partner for emotional security when the present one doesn't offer any?
    Maybe you should self reflect some before going off chasing windmills .
    In my experience rarely is it what a woman says that matters but how she say it which tells a lot more of the reality.
     
  7. 1hotmamma420

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    Well said lbush...
    I agree!
     
  8. onlyfun

    onlyfun New Member

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    I apreciate what you are saying, thank you.......I know its not just her fault in this as its mine too
     
  9. davidross349

    davidross349 New Member

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    hi... it's completely great thread..such a good story writing here.. i read very interesting your thread..thanks..

     
    #9 davidross349, Nov 18, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 19, 2011