Why would u stay with someone who cheated?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by scar69, Jan 21, 2015.

  1. scar69

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Messages:
    199
    Likes Received:
    254
    Gender:
    Female
    if it's understood that you're in a monogamous relationship with someone and they cheat on you, why would/did u stay with them?
     
  2. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    I stayed because she said she was sorry. And I believed her.
     
    whybother likes this.
  3. Meee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2010
    Messages:
    2,198
    Likes Received:
    3,094
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Potomac, Maryland
    We'd have to talk about it, then I'd decide.
     
  4. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    Also, she did what I needed her to do to salvage the marriage. She earned my trust again. Most amazing thing was the lines of communication that were opened up by the tremendous pain we were both in. Unfortunately, several years later we reverted back to exactly the people that we were BEFORE the affair. And then we parted permanently .
     
    whybother likes this.
  5. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    She'd be out the door with my boot in her ass. Total deal breaker.
     
    SexyFantasyGirl and CLE32793 like this.
  6. ply

    ply
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2011
    Messages:
    1,032
    Likes Received:
    430
    Location:
    Alsaks
    Been to long and to much water under the bridge to worry about it. My main complaint is that she is bitchy about me going out and getting some strange.

    I never said a word about her. But she gets all crazy if she thinks I might be up to something. But I just don't care. Which may just make her a tad more irritated.
     
  7. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,945
    Likes Received:
    17,222
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    I don't think it's as black/white as yes/no.
     
    whybother, BaileyB, MrsGhost and 3 others like this.
  8. lucky5338

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,170
    Likes Received:
    9,267
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    absolutely agree.
     
    whybother and HotForHoney like this.
  9. Sagittarius84

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2014
    Messages:
    592
    Likes Received:
    427
    Gender:
    Male
    I blamed myself. Blamed in on my non affectionate nature, which she was all too relieved to agree with. I let it fester for a yr r to before i was inclined to cheat on her. In retrospect, i probably wouldve stuck around if she were a nympho or something, turns out she just had no respect for me at all.
     
  10. Candela

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    4,871
    Likes Received:
    7,459
    Gender:
    Female
    I really truly believe everybody has a soulmate and until you find him/her the grass will always look greener on the other side. A relationship takes both parties to compromise with each other,They are not a 1 way street!..Respect is earned and many demand it and that pulls a lot of people apart,Jealousy is another killer in relationships..Bickering and fighting over small stuff is sure to kill a relationship.Would I stray,I wouldnt think so as I have that trust from my man and I trust him wholeheartedly..Would I take him back if he did..I cant answer that as it hasn't happened in the 15yrs we have been together xo
     
  11. johnnyangel694u

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2006
    Messages:
    6,152
    Likes Received:
    2,149
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    Money, convenience, kids, roof over head, embarrassment, insurance,
     
    ply and HotForHoney like this.
  12. oldperv1955

    oldperv1955 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2015
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    hampshire
    i am still with my wife who cheated on me the main reason being I love her but she is starting to drift back into her old ways booking holidays abroad without me (to the place she was unfaithful to me) not sure but think it may be better to call it a day but at my age there probably isnt anyone out there for me
     
    whybother and ply like this.
  13. Englishman

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2014
    Messages:
    22,114
    Likes Received:
    36,108
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    England
    possibly. It's one of those things where there are countless things are taking this consideration. So the honest answer would be I don't know.
     
  14. lucky5338

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,170
    Likes Received:
    9,267
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    I think I probably would stay unless it was a permanent cheat. Obviously I would be hurt but I am thankful for small mercies.
     
    whybother and HotForHoney like this.
  15. xeniadraven

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2012
    Messages:
    940
    Likes Received:
    190
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    UK
    Its all down to circumstances in my opinion. If the relationship was in trouble to begin with then maybe it would be justified but if the relationship is active and healthy but one party has gone out in serahc of multiple conquests just for the hell of it then I thinks that would be difficult to overcome.
    Either way it depends on so many things, so for me its not a straight yes or no answer.
    Good point of discussion though :)
     
    ply likes this.
  16. lucky5338

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,170
    Likes Received:
    9,267
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    I agree with this . I really does depend on the frequency of cheats and the number of other people concerned. Even in a happy marriage temptation can come along and circumstances take over.
     
    ply and xeniadraven like this.
  17. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    I disagree. If your marriage is in trouble, you should be spending time repairing it, not fucking someone else. If your marriage is good, and you believe in the vows that you took, you don't cheat whatever the circumstances. I get hit on fairly frequently, I was never tempted to cheat.
     
  18. backcheck64

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Missouri
    My great grandfather had a couple of GFds well into his 90s.
     
    ply likes this.
  19. lucky5338

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,170
    Likes Received:
    9,267
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    oh well there's hope for me yet lol
     
    CLE32793 and ply like this.
  20. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,964
    Likes Received:
    5,077
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Whilst there's life there's hope!
    My spin on the OP1955's problem is self doubt about finding an alternative female companion so he is willing to put up with her shit. She is pretty certain he won't dare stray so feels empowered.
    Dude be a man not a mouse so next time she goes adventuring go find and fuck another woman even if you have to pay!
    Just doing that will give you back your mojo ;)
     
    woodster likes this.