Why must I have a fetish if it makes me creepy & ugly

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by Sirius, Oct 27, 2012.

  1. Sirius

    Sirius New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2012
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I seem to be making the same mistake time and again. I would really love a girl friend but I’m not hot enough. Every time I am hot enough I end up watching fetish porn and end up creepy again.
    I think I have more trouble getting a girl friend than some because I’m half cast and I think some people see the black and won’t bother.
    But it really gets me down. I will go months or years being really clean. I wont watch any porn or masturbate and the girls will be looking and smiling and I can feel my sexual integrity growing but no one ever makes gosh darned freaking move on me or excepts any advances and I just go home really horny and masturbate to some awful shit. That makes me creepy and less attractive. I know because after this people start to treat me like shit again but the truth is...I never really wanted that. I wanted a girl friend who I could have normal sex with. I just end up watching my fetish because its more fulfilling and intense....although actually the fetish orgasm is not any where near as nice as the love orgasm.

    It just frustrates me I can go 364 days controlling myself but if I mess up on a few I’m just a creep again. Why Lord, why :(

    And I must stress what I'm into really isn't as bad as what some people are into but still its not right from the P.O.V. that the fetish degrades so I shouldn't encourage/appreciate others doing these things.
     
    #1 Sirius, Oct 27, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2012
  2. Silkycat

    Silkycat New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2012
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Norway
    Erm. .. I'm confused. What is your fetish? Unless it's horrible and/or illegal I don't think people will mind you saying? There seems to be a lot of fetish talk on this forum!

    Maybe people look at you like a creep because you feel like a creep? I don't understand why people have such a huge problem with masturbating. Then I'm not from a religious family, so maybe there's something there (refering to your "Why Lord, why" line!). Also, what is half cast? Being from the Norwegian mountains and fjords I don't know much of anything! If you don't mind me asking of course, I don't mean to be rude =/.

    I also don't quite understand how watching this fetish porn makes you go from hot to creepy?

    Again, I'm confused =3.
     
  3. Sirius

    Sirius New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2012
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm not gonna say what my fetish is but it doesn't involve children or piss/poo. It looks pretty clean on face value but I guess it isn't.

    Half cast is half black/brown and half white. My dad is brown south African....

    I mean maybe I am just a lot less attractive than a pure white person but when I really try, when I really clean up I do get some attention, but still, no one really wants to go home with me. I just give in and end up feeling almost suicidal.

    about fetish stuff making me creepy:
    My life seems to have taught me that if I do something weird or dirty, sexually...Anything that isn't completely straight & clean - I feel and become less attractive. Some would call that "superstition". Also I find the more I think about sex the less confidence I have and that is also kind of creepy. Girls don't like it if a guy just hangs around and doesn't talk.

    I don't mind if people masturbate at all. I think its completely natural, its just I gave up in a bid to become more attractive. I decided to trust the guilt that comes after rather than the hornyness that comes before.


    Anyway yeah, I'm pretty damn frustrated but what you gonna do :(
     
  4. Silkycat

    Silkycat New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2012
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Norway
    Ok, well I can't think of a fetish I'd consider so awful then... An I don't understand what the problem with half brown half white is, I haven't really considered that someone would feel bad about their skin color.

    I don't think there is much help for you around these forums... The people here generally don't consider themselves unclean for mastubrating or watching porn, not as far as I can understand! (considering the many discussions about those very topics going on here) There is no problem that I can see, beyond what is in your head. That I can't fix. If you can't get them out of your head yourself I'd recommend some professional help, no shame in that. I've been in and out of such places all my life X3.
     
  5. taster7734

    taster7734 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2012
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    I am totally confused....lots of mixed people in America and that does not seem to be a problem...my two fixations are giving oral and receiving pee and I have had several steady gfs and married now for 17 years...not sure what it is that you think females do not like?
     
  6. Sirius

    Sirius New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2012
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    well one reason I ask here is to see if anyone feels the same/similar. Not really here to judge anyone :)
    Thanks though. I feel like you really tried to understand me, Silkycat.

    @Taster - are you generally considered to be good looking? several g/fs does sound good.

    Its just never saw a hot guy or I can't imagine Johnny Depp turn round and say he's into poo or something....atleast without a bunch of people suddenly calling him a creep.
     
    #6 Sirius, Oct 27, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2012
  7. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,512
    Likes Received:
    4,415
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    I think it would be easier if you told us what your fetish is. Right now nobody can understand what it is that makes you disgusting. We aren't here to judge, we try to help. Vague posts really won't get you answers though.
     
  8. taster7734

    taster7734 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2012
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Not sure how to answer that...it seems obvious to me that some girls view me as "good looking"....it also seems obvious that there are plenty who do not?...:ugh
     
  9. newt72

    newt72 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2012
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    illinois
    well one ask yourself do you need this to get off? the defition of fetish is a act that must be done for sexual climax, i don't have a fetish but several kinks, if you don't need it to get off it is not a fetish it is a kink.
    then you proably feel ugly because you feel guilty, either you were taught it was wrong or you think it is wrong you have to decide for yourself
     
  10. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    If you want opinion and conversation then youre in the right place. If you want help and advice from anonymous folks, we can do that, but we need a little more information I think. If you really want help, then one on one professional help would be the answer....seems that your self esteem is out of whack...I'm sure the answers can be found tho.
     
  11. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    3,974
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IL
    More than likely you're the one that's making it bad. What the hell is it that you're looking at anyway. My husband and I probably watch are into worse than you.
     
  12. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,963
    Likes Received:
    5,072
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Sirius, your so called fetish is probably not anything that strange or indecent if it excludes those things you say.
    People on here mention some strange stuff but we do not condemn then for that.
    I think that it is your guilty "secret" that is the problem.
    As for your mixed race and girls that is hogwash and again all in your head.
    There is always someone out there for you IMHO.

    As an afterthought; how old/young are you?
     
  13. Lifeloveahhhh

    Lifeloveahhhh New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2011
    Messages:
    9
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Arizona
    You seem to be particulasrly judgemental of yourself for so mething you are not sharing with us. It not our place to judge you, and most will not, so let it out, get it off of your self hatred list and maybe then you will fi nd yourself being more liked or interesting to others once you feel less anxiety and displeasure towards yourself.