I'd like to share a bit of what's been going on with me lately. I think everything is figured out, however I'd just like to talk about it and get some opinions and such. BTW, this will be a very long story. So it all started when I met this wonderful girl. We've been dating for several months, and so far things are great. Her ex was a dick, mine was a bitch, so we're coming from two similar backgrounds where we both put everything we had into our previous relationship and it failed. Anyways, so things are great. Well, then she lost her job because they closed down. She lives at home, however she has bills like anybody else. So she frantically started looking for a new job. But to both of our surprise, she's having an insanely difficult time finding a job. She's seriously applied at at LEAST 50 places. She's sent resumes on monster.com, emailed resumes to places in the newspaper, she's done all kinds of stuff she could think of. So anyway, I started to notice that she became more distant from me. The hugs grew cold, the kisses were less and less often, and sure enough the I love you's stopped. I was concerned, no doubt, but I also know she's been depressed due to her lack of job lately... her bills keep stacking up and her parents are pissed at her and on the verge of kicking her out of the house. So anyway, I've done everything I could to support her. I've been there for her, said everything I could think of, done everything in my power to make her feel good and make her feel loved, yet when it comes down to it, when I'm on her porch saying good night, I barely get a kiss. BARELY. I barely get a hug too. So anyway, then one day she talks to me and says she ran into her ex... not the recent one, but one from about 2 years ago. They only dated for 2 months, but nonetheless she ran into him and they started talking again. I asked her about it once, and she said that she just likes rehashing all of the dirt that they have on people. You know, who broke up with who, who's dating who, who's married already, stuff like that. She said he was just a buddy and I was like, okay fine. Whatever. After all, they dated for 2 months back when she was 17. So I just excused it. We'll come back to that ex in a few minutes... Moving along, 4th of July rolls around. She was in a bad mood all day. ALL day. I tried hugging her a few times and got nothing back. I kissed her a few times on the cheek and she just sat there with a cold stare into the distance. So I was like okay fine, and ignored it. I tried enjoying myself anyway. Later that night, I went home kind of disgusted. So I didn't really talk to her when I got online. Well, she started talking to me soon enough. After a few short words were exchanged, she began to realize something was bothering me. Before I knew it, we were arguing again. I said whoa whoa, I'm not arguing tonight sweetie. I said I've had enough of this shit, and I'm going to enjoy this evening. Then we started talking about our relationship, because I flat out told her it feels like we're friends. She agreed. I said well what's up with it? I said I try all the time to hug you, to kiss you, I tell you I love you all the time, yet you have no interest in it whatsoever. She's like well I don't know, I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't know how to change it, if I knew I'd change it. Then her best friend gets on, who's also talking to her about the same shit. This helped me out, because her friend and I both told her that she's just fallen into a minor depression due to her unemployment. She said yeah, I bet that's it. She said I just feel awful, I have bills due, no money, no job, I'm trying my hardest yet I'm not getting anywhere. She said I just feel pathetic, like I'm worthless. She said all I want to do is get a job and get these bills paid and move on. As we continued talking, her best friend told me that at the mall the other day that her ex was texting my gf. She said it wasn't every 10 seconds a text was received, however there seemed to be more texting going on than should of typically been. I took this chance to confront her, and I said so, is this about your ex? She said oh hell no. I said well, it seems like you enjoy talking to him, and it seems like you're bored of me. What am I supposed to think? She said I really don't even enjoy talking to him. She said we just haven't talked in two years and it's interesting to hear what everybody else has been up to. (aka, she likes getting the "dirt" from him). She said ya know, fuck it, I won't even talk to him anymore. I certainly didn't object, and said okay fine, whatever. To my knowledge up until now, she hasn't talked to him. She knows how I feel about him, so I hope she respects that. I mean, after all he's an ex boyfriend, and both me and her best friend both think that there's just a line you don't cross, and my girlfriend realizes that. I know she's not stupid. But it's still something I brought up with her. Anyway, I mentioned to her that maybe we need to split. I said you no doubt need some time to yourself to get your shit together. I said and I want your opinion. Do you think we should part ways and do our own thing, or do you think you just want a few days to yourself, you want us to stay together, and see what happens? It was now that she got really emotional, cause she realized I wasn't playing around. She said I'd hate myself if I lost you. I'm just putting everything I've got into finding a job. It's all I need right now, is some sort of income. She said I don't want to lose you, but I think I need a bit of time to focus on getting a job. I said that's fine. But do you want to part ways, or do you want to stick it out and see what happens? She said well I feel so bad I put you through this. It turns out, she tried preventing this. How? By bottling it up, keeping it out of our relationship. She figured by her bottling it up it wouldn't be a problem in our relationship. Here's the kicker... it brought her down SO MUCH by her keeping it to herself, that it brought her down, which in turn brought me down, brought her friends down, etc. So when her friend and I confronted her at the same time (though, separately) she realized that she had been hurting those around her who love her. She apologized, said she was sorry, said she loves me, and said that she'd hate herself if she lost me. So I said okay fine, take a few days to yourself and see where we end up. Then she said it. I love you. First time in a while I heard that. I think this falls back on the "don't know what you got till it's gone" thing... where she realized how close I was to moving on without her, that she realized exactly how meaningful I was. I expected her to be completely distant from me, however she's been trying to find little excuses to talk to me. I obviously talk to her, I'm nice to her, I support her, I mean geez... I love her! But I try my best to be somewhat firm on where I stand, by making sure she gets the space and time she needs (at least what I think she needs). So anyway, what do you guys think? I guess it sounds like we got it ironed out, but at the same time I'm not sure. I'm not putting all of my hope into this, but I am somewhat convinced that she realized that there was a problem, took responsibility for her actions, apologized, and is moving forward to fix it. Just give me some thoughts, questions, opinions, concerns, etc. I just love this girl and I hope and pray everything pulls through. P.S. - she has an interview monday.