Dear Stepsahe, Women often start out cold, but I work toward getting my wife hot. Women take longer to warm up, a man can get hot realtively quickly. Steps in getting a woman hot can build up over a day or more. The thing that I find helpful to warm a woman up is to ask her questions. Find ways to get a woman talking about her interests. You mention a lack of conversation, but I suspect that you have not taken 3 hours to sit on the phone researching what courses or counseling sessions are available, to help you improve asking questions that could get a woman talking about her interests, and how you can create a trusting atmosphere, so a woman would feel comfortable talking to you about her interests. I have books of hundreds of counseling questions that I review if I feel my conversational skills need sprucing up. Questions for conversation is not really taught in College. Some people are more natural at easy conversation. Personally, I have had to work on my conversational skills. I have a natural tendency to try to argue with people, which makes it unsafe for discussing personal interests. I need to put myself in check, quite often, to avoid appearing argumentative. Conversation is usually necessary before Foreplay. Welcome to SF. Blessings