Hi everyone, I have been having some ongoing issues with my boyfriend and myself. I hope I can find some honest and friendly advice here. First off, I know that, in general, I am quick to anger and frustration. Secondly, I know that it's not easy for me to discuss my emotions and feelings, especially to the opposite sex. Thirdly, I grew up seeing my parents fight everyday of my life and I know for a fact that they never loved one another, so I've never really known what love can be about between two partners. So now that you have that, I will go into my problem with my current boyfriend. He is my first serious boyfriend, and we love each other a lot. I know that he loves me more than anything else in the world (he's told me on several occasions and I know this from his actions as well), and I love him more than I've ever loved anybody else. I care about him a lot and I just want to be there for him when he's going through a hard time. In general, he's one of those "I can handle it myself" kind of guys, and when we first started dating casually, I didn't really mind since I figured it wasn't my business if he didn't want to share. But now that we're taking this relationship seriously, I am more and more frustrated by the fact that he either refuses or doesn't know how to share the good AND bad with me in this relationship. He will keep things to himself or just say he needs to be alone or he will just keep saying "It's fine, I can handle it." For example, in the past few days, he's become more and more ill. In the beginning, I told him to go see a doctor, but he refused for 3-4 days until he finally made an appointment. And today, the illness got so bad that he had to go to the hospital, before his appointment. I just think that if he had listened to me and just gone to the doctor before, maybe it wouldn't have become this bad. But that's not even the main issue. The main issue is that in the moments leading up to his going to the hospital, I was at work and offered to leave work and go with him, but he refused. And usually it's this refusal to let me be a part of his life that really gets me. And what ends up happening is that I become very angry and persistent about being involved to the point of almost being clingy, all while he is feeling sick! (And I have NEVER been a clingy person or even someone who is persistent in becoming a part of someone's life. I can usually hold my own and do my own thing, which what I used to do in these types of situations when we were casually dating, but now I feel that it's different.) And of course it makes me feel terrible to be that bitch girlfriend who won't leave her boyfriend alone when he's sick, but I just get so frustrated that he refuses to let me in!! He thinks he can handle everything himself, even though I've told him on several occasions that if we're in this relationship together, we have to be a team and share the good AND bad together. His pushing me away just angers and frustrates me more and more and I become this horrible person that I've never known myself to be! I say terrible things to him and make him feel even worse. This also happens when we're having an argument and he barely responds, so it angers me more and more until I start screaming at him. And of course, he will act like I have a temper problem, etc. etc., but he doesn't understand that his lack of reacting and actively trying to work with me is what brings me to this anger. I've tried telling him this on several occasions, and he just says that I can't blame my anger issues on him. And it's not that I'm blaming him, it's just that for some reason, I'm reacting towards him in a way that I've never reacted towards anybody else, and all of it is coming from total frustration of not being able to get through to him and his life. What is wrong with me? What should I do? Are the ways I'm reacting to him because of my own problems, or does he have a hand in them too? I just hope that someone can point in the right direction.