[Ask a Guy] Why do you cheat?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Yamira87, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Yamira87

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    Hey guys,

    I want to know why you cheat (if you do so) and if you think there is a way your woman could have prevent it (like giving you more sex or things like that)?
     
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  2. lbushwalker

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    I may get into trouble with my SO who sometimes reads my posts but essentially males naturally tend towards polygamy and most (but not all) females tend towards monogamy. This is a biological evolutionary trait to ensure successful and maximisation of multiple offsprings.
    That said a woman who keeps her partner well satisfied is more likely to achieve her desire for keeping him to herself as opposed to one who is sparing in allowing him carnal pleasures.
    There seems to be a reversal of roles occurring in the younger generations where the female is becoming the hunter and the male the prey. I wish I could be young again :)
     
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  3. Yamira87

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    But why would you have a relationship or marriage then if you don't want to be faithful? I mean i dont believe in monogamy either but Im also too jealous to know that my partner would fuck others. So the only possible way for me is to be single....
     
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  4. Adida

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    Following!
     
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  5. lbushwalker

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    Single and what, celibate?
     
  6. lucky5338

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    This raises the question as to whether having a relationship on line on a site such as this would count as cheating. I do not believe so. But we are all here for different reasons, partly due to a high sex drive with no other outlet.
     
  7. Sweetlysad

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    It an interesting question Lucky. Maybe start another thread?
     
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  8. Yamira87

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    You need to be in a relationship to have sex??? ;) don't think so
     
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  9. 10_3XL

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    I cheat because I don't want the Monopoly game to last for 7 hours. :p

    But, seriously, men cheat for all the same reasons women do so far as I can tell. Something is dissatisfying about their current situation, so they seek a new/different something elsewhere.
     
  10. lbushwalker

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    Grass always seems greener over the fence :)
     
  11. Horny Joe

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    I cheat, and I can tell you why. Been with the wife for over 20 yrs. Been with girlfriend 1 for 6 years, and girlfriend 2 for 3 years.

    I love my wife, and started cheating on her because she started to occupy her time with everything but me. I provide a great home, (8,500 sq ft), 3 acres of land, pool, all the fixins. A lake house with 13 different boats from small PWC to 42 ft cabin cruiser and everything in between. Provide her with great vehicles (Lexus LX570), and Mercedies SL55, and unlimited financial freedom to do just about anything she wants. I don't write this to brag, but to show im not keeping her locked in a dungeon while I go run around.

    I was comitted to my wife. I had the best thing going. Married my best friend after dating while in the same town and long distance for over 8 years, so it wasn't like I just met her at a bar, or was never away to be tempted. She wanted to remain a virgin till we married and I was fine with that. She satisfied me in every other way and anytime I wanted. She had a great body, huge tits, and a sweet pussy. Happy and fun to hang out with. Some may ask why I waited so long to marry. Because I wanted to be able to provide her the lifestyle that would make our marriage easier and less stressful.

    So why did I cheat? Because after having children and pets I was forgoten about in short. I still provided all the above, and when I wanted attention from her, it came with a price. I'd fly her mother to come babysit so she couldn't use needing to take care of the kids as an excuse not to put out. Initiating sex with me from her fell to zero. Her mood swings and her needing to fill her time with (to me) with stupid shit was always more important than spending time with me. Our pets she would love on and cuddle more than with me, and ai would point it out. My every request seemed to be specifically challenged subletly. I don't want dogs sleeping in the bed. There is a 110 rotweiler as I type this laying between us. I've been bitching about dogs in the bed for 10 years. Why, because ai want to roll over and hold my wife. Not snuggle up to shedding fido. Sure I love my dogs, but they are dogs. She cares more for them than me.

    We have our spouts and I rage about the same things. Women if your arguing with your man and he's bitching about the same subject, over and over fucking listen. Shut up and listen. Don't interrupt, let him vent, and HEAR the words. You might find out with just a simple request filled, your man will be happy. One of mine. Get the fucking dog out of the bed. It's a dog. I would give up everything I own at the drop of a hat for my wife. Just walk away from it all. I might not like it, but I'd do it for her. I know she won't do the same for me. (That's another problem).

    I keep myself in good shape, sure added a couple pounds and lost some hair, but I'm not an embarrassment to her or my kids. I can do anything I ever could. My wife. Fucking ballooned up. Now I get we all change, and pregnancies bring added weight and all. Problem is 8 years after our last child, she is larger than she was pregnant. She has so much grey hair, she looks older than her mother (who dies her hair). Wife won't dye her hair even after asking me if I think she should and I said yes, it would make you look younger. She seems to go out of her way to not do what I request or ask her to do.

    Sex became so infrequent and unfulfilling because if it did happen she seemed to make sure to let me know she wasn't into it, by looking around, laying like a door, etc. When financial hardships came up, her spending habits would increase. The shit she bought just to fill up space was revolting.

    So I started to stray. Found a girl. Enjoyed getting to know her. She was beautiful. Fantastic body, she would be what some would call my trophy wife if I left my wife and married her (girlfriend 1). Shes 12 years you ger than me, and amazing. She has a fucked up family life growing up and was polar opposite of my upbringing. Abusive, achoholic parents, dirt floor poor, etc. Complete oppisite of my upbringing. I was fascinated by her simplicity and struggles, and how she was a productive sane member of society. I fell in love with her. I found out she was already married after several month of dating and after becoming physical with her. The how I didn't know for months she was married is irrelevant but it would makes sense if I went into detail, which I won't. I love this woman. I crave her now. She is sexy, smart, fabulous body and very open and direct with me. So why did I stray from her also?

    I would spend everyday with her, and put off business and personal things to grow my relationship with her. I would drop anything and meet her. I was her rock in ther life. The one thing she could count on. Like my wife, she started to fill her time with other things than me. Go out with friends, fight over stupid shit. She wanted time to do shit for herself, but if I said fine and went to occupy my time, she would get pissed. A routine if you will. If I changed the routine, I was a dick because of it. If she changed the routine or plans already made, I was a dick that didn't want her to have friends. Four years and I was every moment of her life when she wasn't home. All of a sudden, everyone and everything is new and important and I need to understand. I understand, but I still want to fuck like before. Not go to zero. So I strayed.........

    Girlfriend 2 is a close personal family friend. Shes chunky, well fat. Shes pretty, but not georgous, and we ended up fucking after her husband (my best friend) died. She was sad and lonely and I got pulled into fucking her. Didn't want to, still don't want to, but I do. She's cool as shit, and we are good friends before and after we first had sex. I go fuck her when gf1 won't put out.

    So why do men stray? Because we continue to provide for our woman and don't feel appreciated by them. I provide a home, cars, money, jewelry, designer clothes for the kids, private schools, everything. I don't feel appreciated by my wife. If my wife would tell me she loves me, would fuck me, and tell me how much she loves my dick, and can't wait to fuck me again, and would have continued to provide sex and appreciation, I never would have strayed. I don't want to ask for sex. She comes to bed and it's been awhile, and I roll to hold you and start kissing and spooning, I wanna fuck. I don't want your excuses, or hear about your shit day. I want to fuck. I want my raw carnal release. I want you my woman to provide to me like I provide for you with zero complaints. Do I feel appreciated by her? Nope. Does she go on and on about my body, or my dick, or anything to make me feel good about myself? Nope. Does she initiate sex? Nope. Is sex a chore? Yes. Do I get any emotional satisfaction from having sex with the wife now? Nope. Physically? Sure, I got to bust a nut finally.

    If gf1 would have fucked me majority of the time I wanted and made me feel appreciated, I never would have strayed from her to gf2. It's the exact same. I provide to gf1 what she wants and needs. She knows I love her. I tell her how beautiful she is, how fabulous her body is, etc. She knows all the time I'm crazy for her. Is that feeling reciprocated? Nope. Do I feel appreciated by her? Nope. Does she go on and on about my body, or my dick, or anything to make me feel good about myself? Hardly. Does she initiate sex with me anymore? Nope does she make me feel appreciated? Nope. Is sex a chore now? Yes. Do I get emotional satisfaction from having sex from gf1? Sometimes, but not very often now.

    Why am I still fucking gf2? Who is older than me, fat, and just ok in the looks dept? Because she appreciates me. She tells me how much she loves fucking me. Our relationship is just sexual. I can fuck her when I want. It's not a chore to fuck her. I get physical and emotional satisfaction from her. I dont want a relationship with her. I don't really want to fuck her, but it satisfies a need.

    Why do men stray? Because women use sex as a device to controll men. Want your man not to stray? Then appreciate him. Appreciate what he does for you. Appreciate that he provides for you. Appreciate that he works hard for you to help the family or to take you out. Appreciate him and show him that appreciation by making love to your man. Love his whole body. Make him feel you want all of him. Let him know he satisfies you. (Learn to lie if you need to).

    Why do rich powerful men get caught fucking ugly nasty bitches when they have beautiful sexy wives at home? Because the wife no longer provides for her husband like she used to. The man did and still provides for the wife. She still has a roof over her head, gas in her tank, and food in the fridge.
     
    #11 Horny Joe, Jan 19, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2015
  12. Sagittarius84

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    Horny Joe has described a narrative that I think any man can relate to. Personally Ive only cheated on one woman, my ex, and the only thing that gave me the mental greenlight was her initial infidelity. What led to it though, was a basic lack of effort to keep my attention. "How Bout Now" by Drake, is a musical recount of a common male experience...
    Last two points: women tend to cheat to incite change, men tend to in response to it. And women who use sex as a punishment/reward mechanism are a big part of the problem.
     
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  13. HotForHoney

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    I think it's a vicious cycle.
    If guys "took out the garbage" like women asked/wanted; women would reward/punish with sex.
    I don't think if that is the reason either party cheats it's fair to say "I cheated because..." There is a lack of respect/communication which I think is the underlying problem.
     
  14. HotForHoney

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    Short version (as I see it) - you cheated bc you don't feel appreciated.

    You say women should listen to the men as to why they feel that way.

    Question for you - did you ever find out why wife doesn't want to have sex any more?

    Does she know about the cheating?
     
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  15. ginger

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    another way at looking at it is you only keep a car 3 years o_O
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    JOKE lol ;)
     
  16. Sagittarius84

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    I think that sex being used as such is the bigger issue, in that it is becoming a tool that only women are able to use(mostly). Your average monogamous relationship in modern western society, tends to carry the mantra of happy wife happy life, paying no mind to the overall satisfaction of men. Its to the point where a mans relationship concerns are usually met with derision unless the woman cheated, which nowadays even can be faulted to what the man is "lacking."
     
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  17. Sagittarius84

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    Awww someones privilege is showing...lol
     
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  18. Yamira87

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    You got to take it as it comes ;)
     
  19. Sagittarius84

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    Lol probably the exact words many use to justify cheating...lol
     
  20. Alwayslearningsex

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    True, in the end sometimes the grass is greener, other times not at all.
    I met a couple of women who were about sex only, mature ones, then most look for more.
    Same thing for guys, but sometimes because something is lacking either with sex or other things.
    I could have cheated when with the ex, and the reason was not about sex; but it would have been part of it if I had.