Why do many vanilla people enjoy being spanked?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by KateM, Sep 19, 2012.

  1. KateM

    KateM New Member

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    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]I do get that the idea of being spanked is erotic but the reality is unless you’re giving a few light, playful slaps on the butt, being spanked is going to be painful. So what is it vanilla people like about the pain? I can understand people who are into bdsm enjoying it but why would any vanilla person be ok with things like being hurt, having a sore butt afterwards, finding it painful to sit afterwards?[/FONT]
     
  2. OverSinged

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    Because people are crazy, to sum it up easily.
     
  3. lbushwalker

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    Because there is such a fine line between pain and pleasure.
    I prefer being bitten on the neck or shoulders as the hurt feels pleasurable during sex.
    My SO likes being whacked hard on the butt and hair pulled as she is getting it doggy.
    Both these activities value add to the sexual experience but we do not consider ourselves "vanilla" nor particular hard core; just normal sexual beings.
     
  4. sluttyfairy

    sluttyfairy Member

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    Why do chocolate people call white folks vanilla???? Lol
     
  5. sluttyfairy

    sluttyfairy Member

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    My sister in law is half black & white .... she is like my sister ... smart .. very intuitive.. she centers me when im off mentally which is quite often lol ... anyways she always uses the flavors to her advantage ... when its a black person acting a fool she simply says " fucken black folkz " and vice versa when its a white person acting fool ... a little tid bit i thought Id share with ya :nuts
     
  6. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    I like being spanked but not to the point that it hurts. In fact, I get on my husbands case for spanking too hard. Lol.
     
  7. GirlNextDoor

    GirlNextDoor New Member

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    I think the person who is getting spanked likes the feeling of not being in control.
    I'm sure there are some people who get off on pain,but for most into spanking that is my opinion on why they like it.Some people are so in control all the time that it gives them pleasure to know someone else is in charge for once and they are at their mercy.
    I think that is typically why you see men in power who like this.
    They get tired of being alpha all the time.
    Also,pain and pleasure are closely linked.When we receive pain our brains let off endorphins (feel good hormones) and some people may be addicted to that.

    I really enjoy being submissive,and though I don't get into all the whips and chains stuff,spankings can be fun.
     
  8. KateM

    KateM New Member

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    [FONT=&quot]Doesn’t he know by now exactly how hard to spank? or is he deliberately spanking too hard?[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]See, I get that the idea of it is erotic but I think it could also be risky. Even if you trust your partner how do you know they won't be tempted to spank harder than you like?[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]I think opening the door to spanking could be risky if the guy decides he really gets off on giving you more pain than you are prepared to take.[/FONT]
     
  9. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    No, lol. We've only been together for 3 yrs. Learning what we do or don't like takes time. But as for the spanking, I don't say anything until after the fact and idt girls enjoy the actual pain as much as they enjoy how much the guy enjoys it. For guys, idt its inflicting pain as much as it is feeling a sense of dominance.
     
  10. AGFUNK

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    I enjoy the pain and the fact that he's enjoying it.
     
  11. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    I'm with Bush on this........a little bit of pain with pleasure........I liked being spanked.......I have to tell my husband to do it tho.....he's not really into it......
     
  12. lbushwalker

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    I actually dislike dishing out pain but she asks so she gets but yeah not so hard it hurts afterwards but still forceful enough flat handed for it to feel warm & smart a bit at the time.
    A misunderstanding on my part tho'; in our neck of the woods "vanilla" means plain or uncomplicated rather than relating to the colour of someone's skin.
    Otherwise I would be vanilla and she is banana = banana split!
    That is actually funnier than you can appreciate because her nick name is actually banana as it rhymes with her real name :)
     
  13. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    I was thinking very dirty on the banana split.......lol........
     
  14. GirlNextDoor

    GirlNextDoor New Member

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    Ha I think that is what OP meant by vanilla too.I think slutty fairy got confused :lol
     
  15. lbushwalker

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    BTN you are always thinking dirty!
    That is part of your charm ;)
     
  16. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    I like the dirt.....:p
     
  17. KateM

    KateM New Member

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    [FONT=&quot]I don’t think they can get that sense of dominance without inflicting pain though. If they just give the woman light playful slaps on the butt, that is in no way painful to her and so can’t be seen as discipline or punishment. So I guess a guy may not be actually into inflicting pain but might need to inflict some to get that sense of power.[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Btw, yes, by vanilla I was not referring to skin color. I meant as opposed to those into kink.[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
     
  18. GirlNextDoor

    GirlNextDoor New Member

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    From what I have read online,it seems like 50 shades of grey is a poor representation of S&M.Which supposedly is about a man who was abusive and did get his power by hurting his girlfriend.I have not read the book,but I do know a lot of people into S&M did not think it was accurate of their lifestyles.

    In reality,I believe the submissive one is supposed to have the power.They usually don't do anything they aren't comfortable with,which is why they have a safe word to stop any play that gets too rough.But as a few have mentioned here,a lot of submissives like it rough.
     
  19. cbrmale

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    The psychology behind this is that normally dominant people, and think the successful alpha male here, get a lot of psycho-sexual relief by being put into a very submissive space. And nothing is more submissive than being spanked. So this is the stereotype of the wealthy businessmen being humiliated by a domanitrix. For a brief moment all the pressure of being measured, controlled and always in charge is taken away and it's a massive relief. I'm an alpha male and I do know the pressure we put on ourselves.

    That doesn't explain the 50 shades of grey scenario, and here I think we have a close relation to the female rape fantasy. In this case many women of a certain age group feel expected to control their sex drives, and to be sexually restrained and demure. But when dominated they can sexually let go without feelings of guilt. Women of a younger age group are more likely to feel themselves sexual equals to men, and they don't seem to get anything out of s&m fantasy books like fifty shades. But older women who were raised in the between time of subservience and equality do enjoy this fantasy, and probably wouldn't mind living it out in reality.
     
  20. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    ^ Cbrmale, are you saying that you like to get spanked?