why do i fantasise about my wife doing things

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by onlyfun, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. onlyfun

    onlyfun New Member

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    is there something wrong with me, i fantasise about sex and mostly my wife with other man and all.....am i sad to think about sex all the time and my wife doing thing, I know she wud not do all of this and respect her but its driving me round the bloody twist, why can i not stop this silly fetish...I love her to bits....
     
  2. RideNaked

    RideNaked New Member

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    Fantasizing about sex is absolutely normal, and including your partner in those fantasies is, as well. For most people, the majority of their fantasies remain unfulfilled, but there's nothing wrong with it, either way. For those lucky enough to have good communication within their relationship, some fantasies are attainable. Discussing your more "tame" fantasies (or a toned down version) with your partner can be a fun way to liven things up, and (in our relationship, anyway) bring you closer. Actually, we both find it pretty hot that the other fantasizes about us "doing stuff" to each other, rather than someone else. We left the "other people" issue for later in our discussions, after we felt more at ease with having these discussions...

    T
     
  3. McGumby

    McGumby New Member

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    Lot's of men fantasize about their wives having sex with other men. I suspect there are several theories as to why. A big part seems to be the humiliation of you're wife being pleased by another man. Lots of men enjoy that in one way or another. It's just plain hot too. I always fantasize about bigger men, especially black men (and so does she).

    It's OK, don't worry. Fantasies are usually just a way to explore and experience things we can't otherwise. If you're wife doesn't like it, don't tell her. Just do it when you're alone and enjoy.
     
  4. cbrmale

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    I think the fantasy is less about humiliation and more about affirming that your wife is attractive and sexy enough to entice another man to have sex with her. Mostly the fantasy is about a guy with a big cock, as posted above, and quite a few couples actually go all the way (I should know because I've been the guy with the big cock and the wife). Again the big cock doesn't necessarily mean humiliation, and it may be more a desire to give your wife pleasure that you can't give her yourself.

    Fantasies can remain in the mind, and they can be great for spicing up home sex life (do a role-play that you're another man, and you're going to pick her up and give her the fucking of her life). Alternatively they can go as far as reality, and the couples I have had threesomes with did really enjoy going all the way with me. I sometimes fantasise my wife is one of the sexy women of my past, and that usually leads to a different, harder, type of sex which we both enjoy. Many variations of great sex can spring from fantasies.
     
  5. looking4

    looking4 New Member

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    This is my husbands biggest fantasy too, I try to role play it with him (using dildo) act it out etc but I don't think I could ever actually do it. is it the humiliation or affirming sexy to others that drives this fantasy in men?
     
  6. cbrmale

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    I don't know what the drive is, and I've had sex with quite a number of couples in various scenarios. Some husbands wanted to join in after I started or perhaps finished, while other husbands just wanted to watch. One husband watched us in the mirror at the end of the bed, while the other husband sat at the end of the bed, really close to the action, so to speak. The one with the mirror described our session after it was finished as a 'fantasy', and I took this as affirming his wife's sexiness. The one at the end of the bed was also good natured and I didn't feel he got off on humiliation. In both cases the wives were doing it for their husbands pleasure.

    The session where husbands joined in were quite different, but again there was the wife and I with the husband watching before playing. Mandatory was natural sex, no condoms, and with couple number three I felt there may have been humiliation in that he was turned on by having sex with his wife with my come inside her, and she was turned on by that too! Although he might have been turned on by his wife being sexy enough for me to fuck her right up to my ejaculation (and she was very sexy, the lucky devil).
     
    #6 cbrmale, Nov 18, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2011
  7. looking4

    looking4 New Member

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    How did you come to this conclusion?

    I am curious b/c my husband wants this and when I tell him I would do it for him - he doesn't want it to be just that.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    In the case of two threesomes where the husbands only watched us: one wife told me and with the other it was obvious.

    The other couples threesomes where the husbands joined in after I started, it was always the same script they wanted to follow, the wives all told me that their husbands wanted the fantasy and talked them into it. One husband even contacted me before speaking to his wife, and when we met he told me that, and I thought it wasn't going to go anywhere. I was surprised when he rang me the next day and told me that Lisa agreed!

    When the full-blown two men to one woman threesomes happened, every single time was hotter than I ever imagined possible. You have to experience what happens when two men ravish one woman, and she wants and needs all you can give her, to understand what it's like for everyone. For the wife, for the husband and for me. The 'me', the other man, is critical. It's not for everyone, you're having sex with another man's wife while he's there. You also must be very aware that it's their fantasy, and you're being invited into a very special and intimate space. Not to pussy-foot around, but to do what they want you to do, whatever that may be.

    Looking4: I have done this a lot as the other man, and you should tell your husband that it's quite normal for wives to agree to having a threesome in order to please their husbands, but that doesn't put any limits around what actually happens when you all get into it together. He should consider himself lucky that you will do this for him, because countless husbands fantasise about this, but only a few wives would ever agree.
     
  9. turk19602

    turk19602 New Member

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    you and me both mate, my problem is she has agreed to do it, and secretly fancies doing it I just dont know what to do next.
     
  10. cbrmale

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    Find a decent man like me and who's got a big cock, and meet first to see if you get on well together. I have a profile on an Australian swingers site and I also have a free ad in an Australian swingers magazine. Through both I have met a number of couples, and have one couple lined up for December 26 and another for February 1 (they obviously like to plan ahead!).

    It's important that he's got the right attitude, as it's your fantasy, not his. It's also if you want big that he's genuinly big, and not using someone else's photos. If you get both, and especially if he's done threesomes before, you should be okay. How he writes his profile and the information he presents will give you a good idea of his personality. Mine is well written and well structured, and clearly this is what couples are looking for in the first instance. We then correspond by email or speak on our mobiles, and if they're happy with me by then we meet up to have sex.