[Ask a Guy] why are men scum?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by nurseharley, Mar 2, 2011.

  1. nurseharley

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    no, this is a serious question.

    maybe not all, but it seems like 99% of the men i come in contact with are scum of the earth. they start out being sweet and dreamy and make me swoooon but then, somewhere along the line they just turn into satan. lying to me, cheating on me, using me, etc. i'm a nice girl, i treat my man well, i even buy him presents and bake for him.

    why do guys do this?? :yell:yell:yell

    /rant
     
  2. Kermit

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    It's who we are deep down a lot of times, we don't change, we just stop pretending and shed hte illusion we put on for ourselves and our woman. Sometimes' it's cause we can get away with it. Course i've never figured it out hwo to be an utter asshole and be adored, nor is that a skill i wanna find out
     
  3. BlasphemousGirl

    BlasphemousGirl New Member

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    Rant on! Im with you on this one... Treat them like a king and get shit on.Thats my luck too.
     
  4. Kermit

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    it could be a societal thing that keeps perpetuating itself in a cycle
     
  5. nurseharley

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    we all know it aint easy being green but even kermit has more manners than men!!
     
  6. Mittimer

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    I guess I'm a lucky woman. I agree that some men are scum, but far from all or even 99% of them.
    The problem is most women swoon over the guys they barely know. A lot of men start out way different then what they really are and it's just to impress you and get you to themselves.

    I've dated my share of assholes and scums of the earth so I feel for you. Just keep searching,you'll find the right one eventually.
     
  7. HardRocker

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    Most of my guy friends are married, mostly with kids in their 20s now. They are all friends as couples, since their wives are my wife's friends too. Sorry, but I don't see it. 99%... 99 out of every hundred guys are scum? A lot more of us were pretty selfish back in our teens and early 20s, but then so were the girls. Most of us eventually learned how to behave. I don't know, maybe I got lucky when I picked my friends.
     
  8. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    you're right, i probably don't know them well enough. but it seems like guys get too comfortable after a while and think they can just turn into assholes and we're supposed to stick with them
     
  9. Trond

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    I don't know about you specifically, but I have found that women who complain about this tend to be drawn to the wrong kind of men. This is difficult to change, but I think it can be done. I am not saying that it's all your fault, the guys chose to act the way they did, but I think there may be ways of avoiding it in the future.

    For the record, I don't think I'm the greatest man on Earth, but I have sometimes been almost too open and honest for my own good (but never in a rude way). Not sure if it is always appreciated by the women though :ugh
     
  10. nurseharley

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    clearly i am speaking from personal experience about the men i've known and dated. 99% of them have shit on me, so i would consider that statistic to be true for me
     
  11. Mittimer

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    With some guys, this is very true.
    Especially with you (and this is not a put down, this is more a compliment then anything) you're a very attractive girl, and a lot of shallow men who want nothing more then to use you because you're attractive go after you.

    Shallow men go for overly attractive women and do whatever it takes to get that woman. Once things set in they feel like they've got you and don't have to worry about that honeymoon phase anymore. Ya know, gloves come off and no matter what you do, you feel like you can't do it right.

    Even with myself being only mildly attractive, I've been there, done that, got the tshirt and moved on.

    Unfortunately it takes a few mistakes and less then worthy guys to get us to the ones we truly deserve.
     
    #11 Mittimer, Mar 2, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2011
  12. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    i'm drawn to guys who seem like they're nice and sweet. my point is that they change mostly out of nowhere. i wouldnt date a guy if he was an asshole to begin with.

    the one guy who has treated me well actually looks like the asshole type. maybe that's the way for me to go!
     
  13. Woody81

    Woody81 Member

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    Like Chris Rock said, when you meet a person you aren't meeting them. You are meeting their representative. Some guys are douchebags. All they enjoy is chasing a chick and getting her. Then they proceed to hurt the girl instead of putting her on a pedestal. Never understood why a guy would treat a girl like shit. You can get a lot more flies with honey than vinegar.

    BUT, on the other hand with some women... It's just a matter of time before the "crazy" comes out.
     
  14. BlasphemousGirl

    BlasphemousGirl New Member

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    I think its like the whole " You have straight hair.. and would kill for curly---You have curly hair-- and would kill for straight hair" metaphor. ( thanks for that one..lol) anyway, When a girl expects to get this prince charming straight from a love story in a movie... shes throwing herself in to a non existent world. A girl gets a good guy, well mannered, shows and vents there emotions... buys them gifts, talks to them, wants to me with them 24/7, clings to them like a lost puppy, I think its *THEN* that women crave for a badboy in a sense, But getting a badboy, they then bitch about their horrible habits and ways. and chivalry being dead. there's no median most of the times. Its a never ending vicious cycle. lol, Just have to pick and choose ..Give up certain things to gain others. No man is perfect. Neither are women. I think we expect to much sometimes.
     
  15. nurseharley

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    sweet home...
    i used to worry about men wanting to use me for sex or whatever else, but now i make a guy wait a few months for all the sexual stuff. at least that way i'll know if he can't wait then that's more than likely all he wanted. it's not a great plan but i try to make it a point TO get to the know the guy first and who/how he really is....but even then i get surprised down the line

    oh my crazy is always out! and to be fair, i know that the exact same things could be said about a woman so i'm not trying to say that all men are the devil and all women are innocent angels.
     
    #15 nurseharley, Mar 2, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2011
  16. nurseharley

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    i've never really wanted the bad boy type, never attracted me. all i want is a guy who will be honest with me and treat me with respect and not play me for a fool. i am clingy as hell though i wont even lie :D
     
  17. BlasphemousGirl

    BlasphemousGirl New Member

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    +1 to that. Every girl deserves an honest guy who wont play games... but it all comes to with a price of losing something else, unfortunately. At least that's my luck.
    Not many men can stand super clingy... I know I cant. I hate clingy men... with a passion. :lol
     
  18. BlasphemousGirl

    BlasphemousGirl New Member

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    Dont give up though, you'll find someone that doesn't treat you like a fool! :) Your gorgeous and I'm sure have the personality that matches. Any man would be a fool to take advantage of a good thing. Men are fools.
     
  19. Woody81

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    Oh, but yall are sweet angels! But my wife says, yalls hair is long so it covers up the horns that holds the halo up. ;)
     
  20. backcheck64

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    Hey now, I treat my wife like a queen, never cheated, hell, never even kissed another woman as long as we've been together. I give her everything she wants that we can work into the budget. She gets regular back rubs, I fix dinner at least half if not more of the time. I stay at the rink till 11pm at night with the kids hockey, infact I do 90% of the running of kids with sports and orchestra. She's not high mantainence, but I work my butt off to give her whatever she desires and take her to the places she wants to go. I support her interest and efforts. I make sure she has the time to attend meetings for charity groups and PTA/PTO funtions. I compliment her daily and kiss her on average of 9 times a day. We never part without saying I love you and kiss. She finds flowers a waste of money so I will photograph flowers at various times of the year and send them to her in an email to put on her screen at work. I can't belive there aren't more guys that do what I do for their wives and GFs, but come to think of it, I only know of 3 others.