Why Am I Still Friends with her?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ASillyGoose, Sep 17, 2007.

  1. ASillyGoose

    ASillyGoose New Member

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    First off, this has nothing to do with sex or any kind of intimacy; it's strictly a friendship, but it -is- a relationship because of that, and I needed a little help with it.

    I've been friends with this girl I know for a while now, and we used to get along really well, but then we sort of dropped off, nothing bad, she was just always busy, and when we started talking again, I was with my GF and it just so happened that she absolutely despises my GF. I don't know if that's a jealousy thing, or whatnot, but I don't think it's really important, either.

    What the problem is, a person I was once able to carry out a conversation with, is now so incredibly long-winded that I can do -nothing- when we talk except go "Yeah", "Uh-huh" or, "Wha?" to whatever she's saying. If I try to rebut anything she says with a couple sentences, I get a couple -pages- back explaining every facet of why she's right about whatever we're talking about, and blah, blah, blah.

    I find myself thinking "Oh, right. This is why I don't talk to her anymore." whenever I -do- talk to her, but I feel bad if I don't because she was, at one point, a very valued friend. And it's not that she isn't anymore, she just...talks "too" much, and she talks like she's smarter than I know she is (not that she's dumb, but we don't talk -casually- anymore, it's like she's writing an essay to me every time) and it really bothers me.

    So, I'm kinda wondering what to do. Should I ask her upfront what happened between us? Or should I just try to find out and fix it? I don't really want to lose her as a friend, but she's really making it hard for it not to be a viable option.
     
  2. jgood4u

    jgood4u New Member

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    • Maybe she has always been this talkative, but held it back before.
    • Maybe she thought that you might have an interest in her ans she needed be be on her best behavior, but now she knows you have someone else, she is free to be her usual chatty self?????
    • It's not unusual for women to feel the need to talk something out, and just need an ear without a mouth so they can hear themselves say it out loud. She sees you in that listening roll.
    • When she is ready, she might listen - don't interrupt her yet. Sit down, look her in the eyes, nod your head in the proper direction at the proper time, keep a slight smile that says your interested.
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Sometimes. people just end up going in different directions as they enter adulthood. It's a fact of life. As much as you want to try to continue your freindship, you can't base it on the past. Both of you are probably moving in separate directions, and it may be time for you to embrace the past as just the - the past. Enjoy the good memories as part of your youth, but you can't force it to remain the same.

    jmho :)