Why am I afraid to ask for it

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by ckjacobus, Jun 24, 2007.

  1. ckjacobus

    ckjacobus New Member

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    My wife has told me that she really hates that I don't initiate sex more often. I don't know why it just feels weird like I am trying to force her to do something. She says it makes her think that I don't ever want it which is as far from the truth as it can be because I want it all the time everyday. What can I do to try and ititiate things more often and not feel weird by asking or saying something about it.
     
  2. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    My SO has the same problem. I've told him that it's okay for him to initiate sex anytime he wants to because I'm pretty much up for sex all the time. I guess it was a fear of rejection that prevented him from doing it before but I think that problem has been solved now.
     
  3. ckjacobus

    ckjacobus New Member

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    yes fear of rejection is definately in there I guess I have to try and get over that
     
  4. g8rguy

    g8rguy Member

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    I thought it was the guys that always asked for sex and the ladies that dictated the frequency of sex...
     
  5. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    Do like I do and just start to tear her cloths off :)

    I usually don't say "hey hon feel like hiding the ol fire hose tonight"
    shes like "sure hon" then fifthes sitcom music plays and the picture zooms into black

    No but seriously just um take her cloths off I am pretty sure she will understand what is going on, I am also not that big on verbal conversation
     
  6. liam89

    liam89 New Member

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    like vampire raver said just start undressing her, if your not sure about doing hat then just start with heavy kissing and move your hands into place she should realise what you wanna do and if she wants to she'll go for it
     
  7. HoosierMan04

    HoosierMan04 New Member

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    Hi all. I am new around here, but have been lurking for a few days. I actually stumbled across this site because I had a question very similar to the one posed in this thread. I don't mean to hijack this thread or anything, but I just didn't want to start a new one on the same topic.

    I too seem to have the same anxiety about "asking for it". My wife and have been married for almost two years and we don't have sex nearly as often as i would like to. Part of the problem is that I feel awkward asking for it.
    The other issue at hand is that I am very open and like to try new things. I get the sense that my wife would be willing to do just about anything I asked at least once, but once again, I can't bring myself to be open enough to ask her to try new things. I think I am just nervous that she will look at me like I am wierd for even suggesting.

    Do you have the same problem ckjacobus, or anyone for that matter?
     
  8. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    Well fuck man we are all weird, some of us just like things that are just a little less normal than others, I will adment I am fucking crazy

    I have found the best time to talk about sex and things of that sort is after you both have just finished

    Good luck and don't worry
     
  9. formula409

    formula409 New Member

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    I feel the same way sometimes....
    I could be thinking of her all day and feeling really hot and waiting for her to come home so I can tear her cloths off and kiss n touch every part of her body and fuck her so hard until we both cum... But then to hear No baby I'm tired, I have a headache, I had a bad day... and so on... The only thing I can think of .... shit, I should have just jerked off an hour ago. So my fear is not rejection but disappointment that sometimes prevented me from initiating sex more often. Which I think suits her just fine because she's not up for sex half as often as I am. So if she gives any little hint she's in the mood I'm all over her.
     
  10. HardRocker

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    Rather than asking, hug and kiss her, tell he how good she smells and feels, and let your hands roam. Kiss her on the lips, cheek, neck, and so on. That approach is far more likely to work than saying, "baby, you wanna do it?".
     
  11. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    Write your a wife a love note... and in the note explain whatever new kinky thing you want to try.. explain it in vivid detail... tell her how you are going to make her feel... get all of your emotions down on paper.. then slip it into a place you know she will find it

    After you do this a number of times, it will become easier for you to tell her things you want to try face to face.

    No woman I know of, or guy for that matter, has ever been unhappy getting a love note from their SO.
     
  12. lifespoetry

    lifespoetry New Member

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    My S.O. usually does the extra flirty thing, I might walk by and he might grab my ass, or look at me a certain way, and I know what he wants just from that. I think we are playful in our relationship so we do alot of touching when we do want sex. For example last night we were all ready for bed, our daughter was asleep in her room, and I usually take a shower and just head to be, I usually sleep in just my undies and next thing I know I feel this hand cupping my breast and then his other hand going down to finger me...
    Little things like that get it all initiated....try it sometime and see what happens:eyes