Who takes the first step?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Makesmewonder, Sep 14, 2008.

  1. Makesmewonder

    Makesmewonder New Member

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    While it seems that most of the times, guys do all the courtship and make the move to get the girl... there's times it's not exactly that way. But it does seem that guys have all the hard work. And what a hard work it is! Why does have to be the guys to have to peel themselves to get the girl? Why isn't it the other way around?
     
  2. rugbylad82

    rugbylad82 New Member

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    I think like you say this isnt always true and i think a lot of it comes from the fact that we are told this is the way it should be. I also think it comes from the fact that from a very young age guys are the ones doing the chasing mainly that because from the age of puberty every guy feels an uncontrollable urge to be as close to a girl as he physically can and to get as far as he can with as many girls as possible, as mentioned in another post i think girls feel this too but they are taught not to express it or they may be called a slut etc. So due to this i think blokes get used to being knocked back at a very young age.

    I think it is this ability to take rejection which is the main reason bhind this, for example it even applies within males as a group the guys who never really tried with a girl at a young age never really get over that fear of rejection until much later and tend to be much less succesful than guys who do (in my experience). Its not even when they are trying its just i think the clam approach rather than the weird jittery crazy approach works better.

    So after a bit of a round about point, i think its because women more so than men not completely as all people are different fear rejection more.
     
  3. Katprr

    Katprr New Member

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    Well here I can tell you that I believe you are mistaken, maybe in your experiances this is what has occured. I know alot of women that take the lead and instagate things just as much as men. I can tell you I am a women and I have more then once taken the first move.
    I believe it has alot to do with the way people were raised, their believes etc... Some women may just be old fashion, shy ect..., But lets face it in this day in age I believe that it is pretty well even depending on where you live whether it is a small town or city. I have instigated numerous times with my partner, and sometimes have even set things up in the past that were more then a come and get it attitude, for instance, pictures on the phone, dirty mail etc...
    Just my opinion.
     
  4. rugbylad82

    rugbylad82 New Member

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    I do agree Kaprr that some women do make the first move but the numbers are significantly smaller than men who do, but i think you will find the average bloke has made the first move maybe 20+ times in his life, i myself probably managed about probably around 30 times in 1 year between the age of 17 and 18 (i think i asked out every girl in my year who i found vaguely attractive) The following year it was probably more as i tried it on with about 3 women a night and i went out most weekends (although i think i am just more horny than most people) whereas the average woman i would say would be significantly less.

    I would also agree that the difference is less now than it was maybe 10-20 years ago due to basic social change.