Who are you sexually? how'd you get there?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by HotForHoney, Jul 8, 2015.

  1. HotForHoney

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    How did you become the sexual person you are?
    Was it trial and error, a certain person/SO, something happen?
     
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  2. HotForHoney

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    I'm sure many of you know about 2.5 years ago my inner whore was released.
    I met a guy who freed me from my narrow ways of thinking about sex. Took away the disappointment of my parents, the high school sex ed version of sex still in my head. He released my inner whore. Since then, I've been here, bought toys, had anal sex and more things i never thought looking forward from 3 years ago. At times I feel sexy, empowered even though I prefer to be on the submissive side.
     
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  3. billytk1977

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    For me it was getting away from"my first wife. I dident really want to marry her anyway and sex was just on a need only basis. After my divorce i wanted someone who i wanted to be with. Someone i could love and trust, two things i did not have in my first marriage. Now i got it and i aint lookin back
     
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  4. Alwayslearningsex

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    I am sort of a dog, I find many women attractive, but I just wag my tail without going for the humping.
    I was a slow starter with my first date at 25. It's been a life long learning experience, using imagination.
    I was taught, I taught, found out I disagree with the sayings "there are no bad BJs" or "there is no bad sex".
    My ex was ok sexually but I discovered the next levels after I left her.
    I had partners, some for fun, some FWB and a couple I developed a strong desire for.
    I learned not only about women but about myself, sexually and about life.
     
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  5. fbbg

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    I just tend to take things as they come. Every partner brings new experiences either good or bad which help you appreciate just how varied people are and how varied sex really can be. I'm very lucky in that the girlfriend is very like me in the fact she likes trying new things and is very communicative.

    She likes being dominated and tied up etc but also loves pinning me down and climbing on top of me to take control and both of those to me are just awesome (I'm easily pleased lol) .

    At the end of the day you mostly get out what you put in but every encounter isn't going to be ground breaking but so long as you don't expect the best sex ever every time you take off your pants then its never going to be horrific ;)
     
  6. whybother

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    I feel like my handful of experiences prior to my wife were all training for her. I learned from other women how to kiss, how to build arousal, how to lick pussy, and a little about fucking. It was all a basis for getting together with my wife and then exploring more positions, and more sexual experiences but mostly my wife and I (at least this is what she told me) had never experienced a deep spiritual connection with anyone else. We learned to be "with" each other and sex made us one rather than two. We have been together ever since, over 28 years.
     
  7. lbushwalker

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    'Stralia Mate!
    For me it was an inate thing, a late bloomer but once commenced sex has been a main driver in my life.
    I just love women in general and many attract me, a few caught me and one in particular who will be likely be reading this sometimes ;)
     
  8. CreamyJustice

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    I lost my virginity at 19 to my first love whose touch always engulfed my body in flames. It was a matter of trusting. I had body image issues and once I got past that and realized it wasn't a big deal at all.....I became more willing and open to explore. Now I love to please and I love being pleased. I dont care for labels, I just like what I like. So many things turn me on and I don't apologize for it. We're all sexual beings and I'm okay with that. Just wish the world was more open......and clean, lol.
     
  9. BlueCollar

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    Well said. You get my vote for best post. :)
     
  10. Doitagain

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    For me it's been trial and error. Learning as I go what I like, to trust...properly , have thicker skin.... I have been cheated on several times
    As far as releasing the inner " freak" it was slow dabbling and then met someone and started an open relationship . It let me explore then a swinging relationship.
    Now I am married and have a better handle on fantasy vs. Reality , jealousy , and meeting in the middle with a committed partner.
     
  11. CreamyJustice

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    Which was better open relationship or committed relationship?
     
  12. CreamyJustice

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    Why thank you....im just being honest. Being on SF makes that super easy.
     
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  13. 10_3XL

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    I've become who I am sexually in large part out of coming to a series of realizations:
    1) This was probably the biggest one -- Porn is nothing more than a live-action fantasy; it is not reality. (Well, I mean, unless you're a porn star. :p)
    2) Most of the things that are sexually "taboo" are only labelled as such because some stuffy puritan got uncomfortable at the notion of some particular act, and so condemned it.
    3) Communication, patience, and open-mindedness are everything. And when I say communication I don't mean talking your way through each sexual encounter -- a lot can be said without words, ya know?
    4) Figuring out what "works" for me personally and what doesn't. Then, from there, matching that to my partner's Yes and No's.
    5) Of course -- practice, practice, practice.
     
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  14. Doitagain

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    Well one wasn't better than the other . Just different
     
  15. Hottie6275

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    Sad to say, I am still trying to find myself sexually. I probably shouldn't have married who I married. I should not have stayed married for 37 yrs. Before getting married, I had some experiences, but that was really at the beginning of the sexual revolution and certainly sex wasn't what it is now. I had fun but then got stupid, and got married. There's a ton of reasons I stayed married for so long, but for the last decade it seems, my marriage has been relatively sexless. Certainly no fun and certainly not like what is discussed here. Or what I want to do or experience.

    Three years ago, I had the opportunity to meet a very younger woman who let me taste her sexuality. Although it was brief and never went beyond tasting, it showed me what I had missed all those years. But now, I'm not sure what to do or where to go. I've been married too long, and become to financially stable to give up half to the woman I married, or to ruin her life by bailing now.

    So what to do? I have no idea. I can say that I am still one fucking horny guy. Unfortunately I am married to someone who wants very little to do with my dick. Imagine a life where the most I get a half-assed blowjob, and uninventive missionary sex. And please don't say I need to communicate with her, tell her what I want or try harder. Be there, and done that.
     
  16. minskminx

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    You are who you are. The path of life, the choices you make do not define you, they are made because that is who you are, you could not have made any other choice.

    I could say that the biggest sexual influence on my life was my university flat mate. We had a sexual relationship and this was my introduction to non heterosexual sex, and she also had a boyfriend with whom she had a submissive relationship. Eventually I also got involved, and we had threesomes and I experienced the amazing thrill of being collared and being spanked.

    So this was a different world opening up to me. But was it really? Would I never have done these things without meeting this one person? Those desires must have been inside me before just waiting to be released.

    Even before then, when I was relatively innocent I took big and dangerous chances. I was a good student, a shy and naive girl. But really I was already doing really crazy things because these impulses were inside me. Something I did that seems insane now is that I would sit on the metro and if I saw anyone I was attracted to I would sit across from them, write a note and crush it into a ball and throw it to them. The note would say something like 'get off at the next station and fuck me'. Often people were disgusted or angry with me, much more than those that took up the offer. The point is that even before I really knew anything about sex I was desperate and unable to do anything other than follow my own desires.

    I'm certain that if my life had been completely different, I would still be the same sexual self. I would have only have found that self by a different route.
     
  17. CLE32793

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    I was pretty inexperienced prior to marriage, most of my experience was less than positive since I wouldn't just let any man touch me it was not a lot of experience. E & I have been together over 23 years and we had to overcome abuse trauma and issues with body/self esteem (still have these issues) and he fought (and still sights) to make me feel comfortable in the bedroom, naked and clothed. With him I am comfortable and that's the most important thing for me. Now that I am finally free of all the mind restraints placed on me in my youth I love anal sex and I now squirt and have orgasms pretty much every time we have sex, mind blowing orgasms that I will want to brag about here and to my girlfriends ;) :p
     
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  18. FastNHard

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    I used to be a very sexual person, sex drive that wouldn't stop, liked to explore, too bad I had nobody to share it with. By the time I lost my virginity I didn't care anymore, still had a sex drive though. Got with a girl in 1999 with a dysfunctional sex drive that made me not care about sex anymore. Now I'm married to someone else, we have sex once every couple month? maybe. It came natural to me what to do in the beginning, too many hours of porn I guess, now it doesn't matter if I have sex or not. Would rather masturbate now.
     
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  19. Hottie6275

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    Having been married for so long, and sexless for so long, masturbating is easier, quicker, more satisfying and creates more variety than fucking my wife. If I had a mate or fuck buddy like some of the girls on here, it would be different, but I don't. I'd love to be fucked by or played with someone who was adventurous and horny. Instead, I'm stuck with old, fat and disinterested. Is that harsh. Probably!
     
  20. FastNHard

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    About the same here. Married in 2009, wife has 0 adventure, no ideas, no desire to do anything other than the bedroom, I do all the work, I initiate anything If we do anything at all . Sometimes a guy wants a blowjob without having to ask for one just because she actually Wants to, that gets very old. Don't believe the old saying of how sex drive crazy preachers daughters are, it ain't true.