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Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by pixy, Sep 30, 2007.
Which come first sex or love in terms of making relationships ?
was that a trick question? lol
depends...i often think that with a lot of people sex can lead to love.
But i do think it is a trick question
Maybe not "love" per se, but a strong emotional attachment; infatuation, perhaps. The emotional stuff has to come before the physical stuff for me, so I guess my vote is "love".
Depends how far back you wish to go. at first sex was just that sex , for building up the human race relationships were not a factor in it, but as humans have evolved and our brains and thoughts grown wit htem, relationships are the main things before sex.
Say What? Say Which??
That would depend upon which version of history you choose to subscribe to.
And your whole premise would depend on how you defined "love" or perhaps which "love" you were discussing.:eyes
And last, but not least, thinking of Bill Clinton, what your definition of "sex" is.:brow
It has always taken me time to fall in love with the women I have had relationships with so the sex came first for me. And often enough in the past love just didn't come up at all.
Is that wrong?
For me, love. I can't have sex with anyone without first loving them.
Well being as i am not Bill Clinton....
and being as i go wit hthe history that comes from Books and documentries, i would say that at the beginning of human kind , they were not dating and going on dinner dates, i am quite sure they were not being married either...
I could be wrong perhaps 50,000 or so years ago , life was the same as it is now...
Relationship love i think was what the original poster was asking about...
But like you sau it will depend on what the person is after...some wish orgies of sex with multiple people, some wish to settle and make a life with someone else.
Um.. if I feel a connection or that 'special something' with someone, sex might be involved, but not if there isn't a relationship imminent.
I slept with my finance before we fell in love..
It took him around 2 months to fall in love with me and 3 months for me to fall in love with him.
(we're been together 8 months)
Thats the funny thing these days , people tend to believe that there must be a spark at first sight , if there isnt then no hope or future can ever come from it....
A fire that roars with a highly intense passion, burns out quickly.
But kindle it and take your time, that fire grows steadly and lasts an extremly long time...
I dont know it seems most wish for the first a burning passion right away love lust and all of that ...
me i would much prefer the second route.
If i wished a relationship ( really ) then iwould like to take things slow, building up to the rageing inferno..
I guess it all depends on what kind of "relationship" you mean. If this is a committed relationship such as a marriage than love should definitely come first. But if this is a purely sexual relationship then...well it kind of goes without saying what "cums" first.
I hate linking sex to love, except for one occasion which I will explain later.
What comes first in terms of creating a relationship?? Depends on the people and what they are looking for. I will go with what I believe though for now. First comes initial physical attraction, this is the point of interest, the "hey now!" part. After initial attraction comes interest, this stage is where the two learn a bit about each other, although for a good 2 weeks with many relationships the two are quite fake. After about 2 weeks comes time to show their true selves, this is because they realize "hey shes still with me, I can be me". After that everything else should come natural. Maybe the real them is horrible, or maybe its amazing. Whatever the case, the terms of creating a relationship are NEITHER love nor sex for me. Its expierence, plain and simple
I go into a relationship wanting to spend time with the person. I dont look for love, I dont hope for sex, I let those come naturally. If a person is looking to simply enjoy the other person, then whatever develops is true, rather than fake love like many develop. Love, it seems, is being overused as an excuse for sex, also it is being used as a reason to stay with a sour relationship.
Love is natrual, a person can not look or wait for it or it will not be true.
I would say love comes first,because how can you develope a relationship if you don't love that person,after that then sex will come.You can always have sex with a person without loving them,but on other hand you wouldn't be in a relationship with that person.It would be just 2 people meeting up just to have sex.To me I truely think that the sex would mean alot to eachother if there was love and a relationship there.
I keep coming back to this question and puzzling over it... I think I've figured out why I couldn't answer definitively..
Doesn't it depend on the person you're with??
With one partner sexual attraction and sex might come first and love following later, yet with a different person, maybe a deep abiding love happens first, and great sexual chemistry follows...
It seems to depend on the individual relationship, to me.
of course, A one night stand for sex alone.
Or love to build a relationship on.
I agree, for different people and different views and such it could be different wether they have "love" first or sex that will lead to love, many options