DISCLAIMER: Not responsible for wet pants and/or tears from laughter no matter HOW FUNNY this is. - Don't laugh TOO hard. :lol :lol :lol :lol ~Bella *********** LAZY PUSSY This is when there is no movement on the woman's part except trying to stop full thrust of the dick into the pussy. She says faster, faster but still is not putting any effort into the action at hand. THE WENDY'S WINDOW PUSSY This is the girl you picked up around 12:30am when everyone is sleeping and she knows that you are coming so she is waiting by the door. You don't have to beep the horn or call her from the car because she knows the deal. She usually is not the best looking girl. You are never seen with this girl in public places and you hate that she mention your name to her friends. There is no reason to ask how your day was because its too late for conversation it's all upon agreement before she even gets into the car. Nine times out of ten, there is no talk of relationship because that might spoil the mood. THE CONQUERED PUSSY This is the girl who teases you for about two or three years and finally you get your chance. You please the pussy in a way it has never been pleased before, now you have this girl calling you and wondering when y'all can hook up again. There is no pussy better than THE CONQUERED PUSSY THE ALL INCLUSIVE PUSSY This is when you get all the benefits of sex. The pussy is yours for the taking whether it is night or day, still in her church dress type pussy. The pussy smells like roses even after sex and tastes better than candy not only is the pussy yours whenever or wherever you want it, she gives you all the sexual favors you can imagine The head is tremendous, the kind that you write you nicca's in jail about and she can handle the dick when you hit it from the back to top it off, she is not scared to take it in the ass. This is in close running with THE CONQUERED PUSSY for the best pussy to ever get. THE OUT OF TOWN PUSSY This is the pussy you met on the last trip you and the fellas took. She only keeps in touch via email and she doesn't want along distance relationship she only visit at your discretion and always come alone but is willing to bring a friend. She is number one when you go back to that city and only wants to have lunch to catch up on missed conversation. THE OUT OF TOWN PUSSY is necessary for the traveling single man. THE FRUSTRATION PUSSY This is the girl you call when you need to let some loose. You decide to call her when you have a miserable day at work. You may even set this up before leaving work or on the way home. The only reason for this activity to take place is to get your mind off of other things. Afterwards you might think to yourself and say why did I just do that? The girl who is receiving the dick doesn't mind cause she doesn't get that much action to begin with. THE FRUSTRATION PUSSY is sometimes THE WENDY'S WINDOW PUSSY. THE FREQUENT FLIER PUSSY This is the girl you know is fucking around, but you just don't care. She has lubrications that are halfway used already. She always has condom wrappers in her bathroom trash and beer in the fridge. The only reason why you keep fucking is because it's good, she's not bad looking and there could never be a relationship. It has not been proven, but she could have fucked one of your homies in school. The pussy is not loose but it's not THE HANDS ON THE HIPS PUSSY. I'll get to that later ... TIME TO GO PUSSY This is the pussy that when the pants come off you can smell the nahh nahh! Fellas, if this happens it is not worth the two bars of soap it will take to get rid of the stench off your dick. This occurs with girls you bring home from the club, so to avoid this take a good whiff while in the car or better yet invite her to take a shower with you. THE TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT PUSSY This is the girl everyone expects you to fuck. You haven't touched her cause she either have a big mouth, lives next door or is a close friend of the family's relative, or maybe she's all three. She is cute as hell but you know the consequences. She continues to tease you and at any moment when you are both alone, she lets you know she wants to fuck. The best thing to do is fuck her friend THE HAND ON THE HIPS PUSSY This is the girl that you fucked only one time because she can't handle the dick. no matter the position you tried, she complains that it hurts. Not only is she screaming like you are murdering her, but she puts her hands on your hips so that you can't get a full stroke in. its like fucking with half your dick. She does not know the proper way to suck dick so there is no pleasure there, and doggystyle to her is just snoop's first album.....you might have to call THE WENDY'S WINDOW PUSSY to release the built up tension... "BICUZ" PUSSY Acts like she's bi cuz her man wants a threeway. Will let you smack it up, flip it rub it down on her (is often a cousin to the TIME TO GO PUSSY and is normally some guy's CONQUERED PUSSY) but when it is her time to reciprocate, she ain't feeling it, doesn't actually do "that" or finds a reason to end play. Has been known to have all kinds of physiological problems around the same time that Mr. Man starts working it on the other female. CATCH22 PUSSY The pussy is so good that you hit it as often as she lets you. BUT YOU DIDN'T READ THE FINEPRINT ON HER CONDOM COLLECTION. After 3 times, you are her man and she is going to tell every Female that she knows,that KNOWS YOU that you are off limits to them. If you start noticing that your 'old standbys" stop taking your calls, this could be why. Ambitious WENDYS WINDOW PUSSY often graduates to this position. THE QUEENDOM CUM PUSSY The pussy is so good you cry. She rivals the ALL INCLUSIVE PUSSY in that she can take it any way you can give it and more. NO matter how much VIAGRA YOU TAKE, she continues to cum and only needs Gatorade and Red Bull to "hang". She licks you from head to toe. She bathes you every time you visit and has more candles at her place than the Roman Catholic Church. She has a closet specifically for fetish outfits and special toys. She calls you "Precious" and never lets you control her, often winding up babying YOU while fucking you to death. You start to think she is a vampire as she drinks every drop you have through every hole she has. You let her fuck you in the ass. You drive by her house to see if the lights are on so that you can call her and ask if you can suck other men's cum out of her ass. You wonder if she is human and you ask your mama if she will pray for your immortal Soul, after a month. After a few months, you are a gibbering idiot and her bitch. You make a lot of visits to FRUSTRATION PUSSY to "work it out" when The Queen is not available. Often, you try to break FRUSTRATION'S SPINE trying to work out the confusing issues you are having with The Queen. With luck, you can get some WENDY'S WINDOW PUSSY to help you restore your manhood, but you will still need years of therapy to recover. Last but not least... ...BUY A CLUE PUSSY...FOUND IN COURTROOMS ACROSS AMERICA... Will get all the way to unwrapping a condom and sliding it on your cock with her mouth before she realizes that you actually want to fuck her. Will be frightened and may take legal action against you for attempted rape and may have a full chapter of some support group named after her. Will sue you for your shoelaces!