i'm 18 years old. i've never really been in a serious relationship, and i don't really want to now. sure, i've had guys tell me "i love you" while we were dating, but even those relationships didn't last very long. anyway, whenever i've been in relationships i won't really hold out on sleeping with the guy for too long, as the concept of being able to love a guy completely without knowing what he's like in bed first seems unrealistic to me. what i'm wondering is- how much of a factor is sex in determining the longevity of a relationship? if i want guy to really love me is it best to get him hooked first and then sleep with him or go ahead and sleep with him fairly early in the game and then go from there? will it probably get me more respect from him if i hold out for a little bit? i WANT a guy to really like me for me and not for putting out, but like i said, it doesn't seem like, for me, i could ever really like a guy as much before sleeping with him as after (assuming he's at least decent in bed, of course). so which comes first, sex or relationship?